Fighting the Disquiet

28

"People never change because they are under threat or under duress. Never. They change because they see something that makes their life seem valuable enough to start moving toward a life worth living."

- Robert Downey Jr.

When I open my eyes again, I can feel myself moving up and down. Decker's arms are still wrapped tightly around me and I think that he must be sleeping since his breathing is so slow and even. I don't want to wake him but I feel like I'm dying of thirst and I really, really need to go to the bathroom. I lift my head from where it's tucked under his chin and I see my mom standing by the window in my room.

"For fuck's sake Martin," she says in a hushed tone but it's strained like she's trying not to yell, "she's your daughter. Your blood."

I return my head to its place on Decker's chest and continue to eavesdrop.

"You know, I should have never  trusted you to take care of her," she says after a moment of silence which I assume is from my dad talking on the other end of the phone, "You've always favored them. It makes me sick thinking that she's had to live in that house with him for months and you didn't even notice that something was wrong."

"No, you know what? Go to hell, Martin. And take your step-son with you."

She pulls the phone away from her ear and hangs up the call shoving her phone in her pocket.

"Mom?" I whisper, not wanting to wake up Decker.

"Oh," she wipes her eyes as she turns to face me, "I'm sorry I should've stepped into the hall. I didn't mean to wake you."

"Was that dad?" I ask although I know that it was.

"Uh-huh," she says taking a seat in the recliner beside the bed.

"What did he say?"

"He, um," she pauses and grabs my hand that's resting on the bed. I can tell that's she debating whether or not to tell me the truth so I nudge her.

"Mom just tell me," I say.

She sighs and gives me a sad smile.

"Well, I was telling him about what happened. What the doctor told me and how...your step-brother was involved," I cringed at her words but let her continue, "and well, he just doesn't want to believe that he could do anything like that. I'm really sorry, honey..." she trails off and I can tell that she's trying to hold back her tears.

I clench my jaw and I feel Decker's hands squeeze around me. Great, he must have woken up. I wipe the tear that's left my eye and stare at the scratchy sheets beneath Decker's body. So one parent leaves me and now the other one doesn't believe when I say I've been raped. Like who the fuck would make something like this up?

I remember that I need to use the bathroom so I attempt to sit up again. Decker's arms release me and I climb off the bed before realizing I'm attached to an IV pole and a bunch of stickers and wires are sticking out of my hospital gown. I laugh at the situation because I'd rather do that than cry and Decker wheels the IV pole around to the other side of the bed for me.

"What about the wires?" I ask, looking at my mom.

"Here," she says standing up and reaching into my gown. She disconnects something and the machine starts beeping like crazy, probably thinking I've died or something.

"Do you need help?" My mom asks as I walk across the room to the bathroom.

"No, mom," I grumble, "I'm not five."