The Darkness In Us

Haze

-Cayde-

It's been a week since I dropped off the armor for Lilith and two weeks since Xander and his fireteam member Olivia were killed. I wanted answers but more than anything I wanted to see Lilith. I would've waited for her to open the door but I knew she wouldn't and that she'd have a shotgun ready.

I've been throwing myself into Vanguard business. Amanda's noticed. I saw her a few days ago when I was asking about my ship.

"I haven't seen you around lately. Not since..." she hesitated for a moment. "Well, you know. You only throw yourself into work when something's bothering you. I get the feeling that that something is Lilith." she said.

"Yeah something like that." I replied, rubbing the back of my head. She smiled at me.

"Your ship will be ready in two days. Don't be a stranger." she said before scolding one of the other mechanics and ignoring me completely afterwards, prompting me to leave.

Tonight is the night that I'll find out if Lilith will come see me or not. Uldren's been asking about her. Zavala's been worried too, though his worry was more about her stability and trustworthiness rather than her well-being. After we buried Xander and Olivia the night of the reveal, we returned to the Tower to find several injured people. Lilith had awoken and had to be sedated until Ares could be found. Orion, Zavala's Ghost, Ophiuchus, Ikora's Ghost, and Sundance rose to the occasion. They used the faint signatures of Ares they could find in Lilith's apartment at the Tower to make a sort of tracker. They got a signal in about fifteen minutes after that and guided us to a bunker in the outskirts of the city.

Afterwards, we took him to Lilith and he explained everything in a more calm manner when she awoke. Zavala wanted to interrogate her and both Uldren and I wanted to see her, but Ikora told us to leave her be until she was ready.

Today, I did extra paperwork to keep me busy, gave out extra bounties I had been holding off on to my Hunters, and trained a few. Ikora, observant as ever, was onto me.

"What did you do?" she finally asks after I had given the last of the bounties off.

"What do you mean?" I ask casually.

"You're nervous. You did something. What is it?"

Damn you, Ikora. Can't a man keep a secret?

"Nothing. I'm just..working." I say.

"Right. You're playing Galaga on your monitor, Cayde."

Zavala had stopped typing into his computer to look at me.

"You have been unusually quiet and reserved." he says.

Oh great, thanks for adding even more suspicion Ikora.

"What did you do?" Ikora asks again.

"Nothing." I say. I make the mistake of looking at her in the eyes and she sighs.

"You contacted her didn't you?"

"What?" Zavala asks.

"No! Of course not." I say.

"You're not a very good liar." Ikora says.

I sigh, maybe I should tell them the truth and just be over with it. That way they can scold me and then we can move on. But I'm only giving them a half truth.

"Okay fine. I left her a present, some armor set she had her eyes on awhile back...and a note, asking her to come out of her apartment..." I say. I mean, it's not exactly a lie. She did have her eye on that armor and I did write her a note about her leaving her place. I just left out the part about me asking her to meet with me. They look at me and it's with almost sad, pity even.

"You still care about her." Zavala says quietly. I nod and look down at my monitor.

"Yeah...I do..." I say.

"She doesn't remember you, Cayde." Ikora says gently. She looks at me intently "Maybe it's better if you just..." she remains quiet. I know what's she's trying to imply.

"I can't, Ikora. You know that." I say. Zavala and Ikora exchange looks but are interrupted when a few Warlocks and Titans walk in, distracting them for the moment. My mind strays to Lilith when the clock strikes ten pm.

Please...please meet with me.

At eleven, I finish up some paperwork and sprint to my apartment to change into some different armor. I head to the ramen shop and pick up two ramen bowls to go then I head to the training room. It's 11:47 and I feel extremely nervous. I sit down at the bench that's at the end of the room.

Midnight arrives faster than I wanted and I'm still alone. I sigh, straightening up and standing to walk towards the door. I remember I had the ramen and I turn back to grab it.

"Can't let this go to waste..." I say outloud to myself. I turn and head out the door, going down the corridor towards my apartment. I turn a corner and I bump into someone, making me drop the ramen. The other person helps me grab the packages and hands them to me.

" Sorry. " she says. I freeze, recognizing her low voice. It's Lilith. I look at her and recognize the armor. She's got her helmet on and she seems uncomfortable.

"You came." I say, sounding breathless. She steps away and nods, arms crossed tightly over her chest, one hand holding her arm.

"Yeah. Sorry I'm late."

"Please...don't apologize. Uhh..I'm -"

"Cayde-6. Yeah. I read your note." she says, sounding a bit harsh. I nod and she seems to recoil a bit. "Sorry..." she mumbles after a few moments.

"Don't apologize. I'm known to be an idiot. Yell at me if you want, it's fine. I probably deserve it." I say. I hear a small laugh coming from her. It's short-lived and she clears her throat. "It's good to know I can still make you laugh." I add.

"So...the training room?" she asks. I nod.

"Right. Follow me." I say, turning back and walking down the corridor.

"Cayde!" I hear behind us.

Shit. No, no, no.

"Uldren. What's up?" I ask when he hurries up to face me, brushing past Lilith.

"Have you hear anything from-?"

"No. Nothing at all." I say quickly. He looks at me sharply. He looks behind me to Lilith, who's stock still, eyes flashing with slight anger and narrowed with suspicion. He ain't an idiot. Not entirely.

"Who's that?" he asks.

"New Guardian. I'm training her up. She's heading to the Cosmodrome tomorrow to do some patrols." I say.

"Is that so?" he asks. He looks at her once again before giving me one last glance and leaving. Once I'm sure he's gone, I take Lilith into the training room and I close the door.

"Who was that?" Lilith asks.

"Uldren Sov. Prince. Brother of Mara Sov, Queen of the Awoken in the Reef and the Dreaming City. Spy Master. Has a network of people he calls Crows and actual Crows for surveillance." I say.

"Did I know him?" she asks, taking her helmet off. I put the food down on the bench I was sitting on earlier.

"Yeah. You did." I say bitterly.

"Was he a friend?" she asks. I look towards the closed door, memories of the past haunting me. I meet her gaze.

"He was your husband." I finally say.