The Darkness In Us

As I Am

-Lilith -

"He's your husband."

Cayde's words echo through my mind. It's been two days since I met up with him. He explained a ton of things. He didn't want to tell me much, but I insisted. I guess he was scared that I'd literally break with all the information. We ate ramen and drank saké. Neither of us got drunk, on Cayde's part because he's an Exo and not many things affect him. On my part, he did say I was a heavy drinker. Either way, it helped me relax a bit more around him.

Seeing that Awoken man gave me a strange feeling of longing. I didn't understand it at all when I first set eyes on him, but after Cayde told me he was my husband, it made sense.

Cayde talked to me about Blaze, his son. Our son, I should say. I wouldn't have believe him if it wasn't because I looked around my apartment, and I mean really looked around. I found pictures, awards, a ton of weapons and armor sets. I also found a few journals. I recognized the writing immediately as mine. The last date was the day Blaze died. Before that there was a huge gap, of several months. I'm guessing that's when that woman took over. Cayde said she only let me see clearly when Blaze died.

How cruel.

I didn't want to believe a word that came out of Cayde's mouth...but I did. I gazed on his perfectly built face, orange mouth, his warm aqua eyes, his voice...and I believed him.

I told him how I felt when I found pictures in my apartment. The panic I felt when I saw pictures of myself with other people and of just other people, including him. I may not remember them but I still feel a connection to them.

He told me everything that woman had said when she finally revealed herself. He also told me about a close friend of mine, Xander, who was murdered along with another Guardian. He said Xander and I had been friends for awhile and he showed me a picture of us eating a sandwich after a fight against the Cabal. A sense of sadness filled me when I saw him. I knew him. I knew all of them. I can feel it.

I just don't remember.

Over the next few days, I venture out of my apartment and look around the Tower. I may not remember what's here but my body does. My feet carry me over to the gunsmith, Banshee-44. He looks up and the two Guardians that are there turn to look at me. One of them smiles at me. He's an Awoken man with light blue skin, bright aqua eyes, and dark purple hair. He's got a good amount of muscle and he's pretty tall. Still, there's something about him that makes me feel uneasy. The other man is an Exo male with a darker colored metal, almost black, with white eyes and a red mouth. He's...well built. Like Cayde, almost.

"Well, well, well. Look what we've got here." the man says to his friend. His friend looks annoyed. He puts his hand out.

"Zoriel North. Don't mind my idiot friend..." he says warmly. I shake his hand and then the other man puts his out.

"Zerex. Zerex Thesh." he says. I shake his hand hesitantly and quickly let go.

"Hey, so-"

"Heard you lost your memory pretty lady." Zerex said. Zoriel elbows him in the ribs but I shake my head.

"It's fine." I say.

"Yeah, Zoriel. It's fine. Besides, we used to date."

"Did you?" Apollo asks when he appears next to me. I was liking this man less and less.

"No, I'm joking. But we could." he says, giving me a smile.

"No, thank you. You're not her type." Apollo says.

"And here I thought you were into Awoken. I mean, you dated that arrogant asshole Prince. He's done many bad things, some of which ended up hurting you. How's he any better?" Zerex asks.