The Darkness In Us

The Plan

Uldren and I started talking a little more as of two weeks ago. We've been messaging and talking over comms. He takes me out on dates when we're both free. I can't help but think back to the mission we did the day Uldren and I, well, made out.

I went on that mission with Cayde and a few others, and we did very well. Still, after reporting to the Vanguard, I can't help but feel like Zavala and Ikora don't trust me.

"What's on your mind?" Uldren asks as he prepares me a sandwich. We're at one of the parks in the City, overlooking the water, on a picnic blanket. It was his idea to eat out on the open air and just relax and I have to say it was a very good idea. The breeze here feels great.

"Nothing. I'm just tired, that's all." I lie.

The underlying worry makes me bite my lip, a habit I hadn't realized I have until Uldren and Cayde pointed it out a week ago. I catch myself and stop, but not before Uldren notices it.

"You can't lie to me, you know."

"Well, I can by all technicalities, but you tend to see right through me." I say slyly. He sighs, handing me the sandwich and I smile, taking a bite out of it. It's delicious, and I savor it.

"Smart ass..." he mutters. I giggle and his mouth curves into a smile, unable to stop himself, despite the fact that I annoyed him with my answer.

"Damn right." I say.

"You're lucky you're cute." he says, sounding grumpy. I sigh, taking the sandwich from his hand and setting it in the basket we brought. I sit down on his lap and he smiles, for real this time, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"I mean, if you say so..." I say. He squeezes me and kisses my cheek.

"I adore you." he says. I smile, leaning against his shoulder, feeling serene.

"And I you." I say contently.

"This is sweet and all, but we really should hurry." Apollo says. I smile and bring him to me so that he's snuggled between me and Uldren at the crook of Uldren's neck. He gives an exasperated sigh.

"This isn't what I- oh what the heck...it feels nice..." he says giving in and getting comfortable. We sit in complete harmony. It's days like this that keep me going. Despite all that has transpired in about a month, I still have hope. Between Cayde and Shiro's friendship, Uldren's love, and Apollo's undying support, I feel much more stable.

"No but really, what's on your mind? " Uldren asks, running his hands through my hair.

"Zavala and Ikora don't trust me. They think I'm...some kind of rebel. That I've lost my way. Wayward."

"You do realize that they have to keep everyone at arms length right? Of course they're going to focus on what they feel your flaws are. Not that there's anything wrong with a rebel..." he says, trying to reason with me.  I nod slowly.

"Yeah..I guess I hadn't seen it that way." I say thoughtfully. I dismiss the whole thing from my mind. I want to enjoy my time with Uldren. He has a big mission he's going to be running in two days on his sister's request. He said it would be a rather long mission. A few months. Truth be told, from what he's told me, it's dangerous as hell.

I have a very bad feeling about it...

"Oh! I'm getting a call from Mara. I'll be right back." he says. I nod, getting off his lap and sitting down cross legged to enjoy my sandwich.

I hope that I'm wrong...I hope this horrible feeling goes away...

*
*

-Uldren -

These last two weeks with Lilith have been...heavenly. After that intense make out session she left to do a mission. When she came back at the end of the day, she reached out to me. We met up at a rooftop on the City. She confessed everything she felt, everything she thought. I gave her my heart as well, my dreams. My ambitions. Under the light of the Traveler we promised each other we'd be there for one another.

That same night, Mara called me and told me we were to leave in a little over two weeks. For some reason, I feel worried about it. I brushed it off as simply a long, tedious mission that Mara was having me do when I told Lilith. If I'm being honest, I'm afraid that I won't come back. That's been my recurring nightmare.

I drop Lilith off at her apartment in the Tower and she gives me a kiss. I pull her into me and she pulls me closer to her. We haven't had...any physical intimacy...mainly because I didn't want to push things too fast, but we're both dying to. Still, I want to take my time with her. Savor every moment.

"You wanna spend the night with me?" she asks when we let go. I smile, I can't help it. She can be quite bold once she's comfortable.

"I'd love to but I'm heading home for tonight. I'll be back tomorrow morning so that we can hang out before I leave for the mission." I say. I hate leaving her. She pouts and it's the most adorable thing I've ever seen.

"Pleeeeeeeaaaaaaase...?" she pleads. I sigh. I would love to. But I can't. Orders are orders.

"I'm sorry, love. Mara's orders. She's gonna brief me and give me the plan of action. I can't. I'll spend the night tomorrow, okay?" I say, hoping it'll appease her. She sighs, nodding. She understands.

"Yeah, that's fine. I get it. I don't want you to get in trouble either. Especially since this a big mission. You need all the Intel you can get." she says. I walk her to her apartment and she sighs, Apollo unlocking the door.

"I'll see you tomorrow then." she says. I nod, giving her a hug. She hugs me back, tightly and I smile, kissing the top of her head.

"I'll see you tomorrow." I say. We kiss and then once she's inside and I hear her door lock, I leave.

*
*

It doesn't take me long to get to the Reef. Once there, I head for the throne room. Mara is already there and I sigh. She's angry about something, I just know it. I kneel.

"Your Grace, I have returned as you have asked." I say.

"Brother. How are things with the Guardian?" she asks. The question catches me by surprise.

"She's doing better."

"Still no memories?"

"None whatsoever."

"Good. You need to cease all communication with her. You will see her one last time, as soon as we're done here, to tell her that whatever you have between the two of you, is over. With my plans in action, the Awoken need their Prince to make them a priority. I cannot have you distracted over a human."

"Mara-"

"You will do as I ask. That is final, Brother." she says. "Where we're going, you won't be able to reach her. If something were to happen...its better not to give her false hopes. That would be cruel."

"I will not." I say defiantly. She sighs and for once, her composure vanishes. She looks tired.

Then I watch her speak but I can't believe what I'm hearing. For half an hour, she speaks to me while I listen, for the most part. When she's done, I bow my head.

"Yes, Your Grace." I say. I stand up and leave. There's no room for error. Not with this much at stake.