["I stood there: waiting, wanting, hoping, feeling. Allowing the sensations of the world to consume me as I stared deeply into the pools of honey that were his eyes. I wanted no more than to dive right in. For him to hold me close and never let go."...
["Look at me." I heard him say under his breath. "Please, just look at me."]
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~Casey~
Ever since I phased, the world around me felt tilted, like the center of my universe had become askew. Everything was different now. I wasn't human, I wasn't the same old Casey Apha I once was, and I had mixed feelings about it. I was supposed to be this better version of myself, yet at the same time, it felt like an essential piece of me was missing. I couldn't help but feel empty.
The worst part was knowing there was nothing I could do about it. I figured it had something to do with my lack of being with my old friends. Yet, at the same time, it seemed like whatever I was experiencing was more than that. It was beyond my control, and I decided that going forward with my life was the only logical way to try and move on. I had to. It was the only way I could focus on my pack duties and protecting La Push.
My alarm startled me awake. Usually, I'd already be semi-conscious by now because of training or patrol, but Sam let me sleep in today. He said I would need all the rest I could get before going to school. He knew that today would be hard, considering I had to forget my old life and start anew. I dodged calls, didn't answer messages, and blatantly ignored my friends like a major asshole all week. It had been easy to avoid them until this point, but that was only because I wasn't in school for over a week. Today would be the real challenge, and I was terrified.
I got up quickly, getting ready as fast as I could to get breakfast before Jessie did. I wanted to minimize interaction as much as possible. That way, I didn't get cornered and give her a chance to scream at me for being a jerk. Now, was this the best idea? No, definitely not, but it was the only idea my three brain cells could come up with.
I snatched an apple off the table and rushed for the door. I took a bite and went to grab the handle. That was until I was caught.
"What are you doing? We still have twenty minutes before we have to leave." It was Jessie, and she sounded annoyed.
The sudden surprise caused me to choke on my food. She was surprisingly stealthy.
"Oh, Jeez! Are you alright?" She asked, then padded my back. "Whoa, you're still super warm." She retracted her hand once I stopped hacking out my lungs.
"I'm fine." I focused on trying to get my food down the right pipe. "Mom cleared me."
She raised an eyebrow at me. "I'm beginning to question her medical degree."
I rolled my eyes. "I'm fine," I stated again and grabbed the doorknob.
Her eyebrow raised higher at my actions. "Why are you leaving?"
"My friends wanted me to meet up with them," I explained vaguely.
She gave me an exasperated look. "Friends, what friends? Casey, we are your friends. What are you talking about? I hope whatever phase you're going through passes because I don't like this."
