Vague (Xiaoyang)

5. Burger box

Two pills left. Xiaojun was watching the small round drops on the bottom of the box, his body becoming so numb. The sunny day was distant. The petrol station they stopped at crowded in the morning rush. It has been 356 miles between that city they had stopped in and the capital. 356 miles between him and doctor Seo.

"Dejun what do you want for breakfast." Yangyang's way too beautiful eyes laid on him.

"It's fine." He lied ignoring the twists in his stomach.

"I'll be right back." Yangyang smiled jumping out running towards the small shop inside the station when Xiaojun spotted his backpack and the violin box still placed in front of the car.

"Be quick!" Jaemin was watching the store and the running numbers on the gas pump.

"What." Xiaojun left the car when Jaemin pushed the fuel filter back into the machine.

"Jump in we're leaving." Jaemin's eyes were filled with that glitter he has seen in front of the lake house.

"No!" Xiaojun crossed his arms.

"Dejun, it's our chance. We will be rich."

"I said no. I will not allow you to harm Yangyang!"

"I'm telling you go into the car!" Jaemin was shouting when Xiaojun took two steps back.

"Dejun it's our only chance for a better life. We can buy..."

"But what! Presents for your hoes! Definitely nothing important. You can't even buy me pills I need. And I don't care about myself as I will not allow you to harm Yangyan..."

Xiaojun stopped seeing the boy they were arguing about standing behind Jaemin watching them with a pale face. Some bags with food in his trembling hands.

Jaemin turned around, Xiaojun heard his inhale and out hale sharply.

"Thanks for the breakfast." He hissed pulling two bags out of Yangyang's hands.

"I'll go now." Said Yangyang faintly tottering to the car when it became dark in front of Xiaojun's eyes.

"Yang! Stay with Dejun until I come back. Unworthy son grab that and find a parking spot." Jaemin threw the keys his way so they banged off Xiaojun's chest landing on the ground. Jaemin was whistling that obscene song again while walking down the road fixing his hair and coat.

Xiaojun wasn't looking at Yangyang, all his moves robotic when he sat behind the steering wheel. The door banged from the passenger's side.

"Drive me back." Muttered Yangyang when Xiaojun started the car.

"Where is back?"

"Ah." Yangyang rubbed his face. "I'll wait for your father to come back. Then I'll go."

"You don't have to pity me."

"I have to. I bet you're starving."

The growling in Xiaojun's stomach became louder.

"Why."

"For what you did down there." Yangyang pointed at the petrol station that was becoming smaller in the mirrors. "You deserve dinner."

The first time Xiaojun has visited doctor Seo was three years ago. The curator became suspicious while questioning him in his office the other day so Jaemin was forced to bring his son to the Public Crisis Healthcare facility.

"Don't tell him anything about your problems." Was all Jaemin has sent him off with. Yet he was just a small boy faced with a highly curious professional who didn't need much to diagnose him.
Xiaojun remembered that moment, the piece of paper and the doctor's swift handwriting giving a name to the horror he has been living with for years. OCD and depression combined with a slight case of neurosis. Just a few words changing a life forever, as the first two days he was just sitting and crying on the floor of the attic room that belonged to a married woman Jaemin was sleeping with at that time while her husband was out on a business trip.

"Embracing your sickness I'd the first step towards healing." Said doctor Seo before letting him go.

It's been three years since his condition was named but he hasn't been any step closer to accept it. Now when he was running out of pills while sitting in a small fast food place right across his crush it seemed double dangerous, like a mark, he couldn't get rid off, he couldn't utter. Realizing he will never be able to date anyone, as no one would accept being in a relationship with someone like him. While there was no way to hide it forever. Even now the coffee drops someone had to spill on the table before they came we're driving him insane, his attention grabbed by them like by a magnet.

"Dejun, are you listening to me!"

Xiaojun looked up to meet Yangyang's eyes.

"My father still isn't back."

"He's..." Yangyang took a loud breath.

"I know... he's still my father."

"Why can't we choose our parents." Yangyang rolled his eyes. "Aren't you eating?"

Xiaojun trembled looking at the paper the burger was wrapped in. He has seen the guy at the cash register touching it without gloves.

"I... need to check something." He jumped up running to the machine with fill up drinks. There was hot water there so he took the paper cup Yangyang has brought washing it underneath the boiling stream. It burned his fingers but he never cared less. The paper cup was contaminated, air carried germs. Still there were drops of cold spilled all along the machine driving him nuts when he ran for the napkins watered them in the boiling stream and began to wash it all causing the other clients to look his way.

"Dejun, it's fine. Come." A warm hand landed on his palms giving him an electric shock.

Yangyang just took the crumbled napkins out of his burnt hands then pulled him out of the restaurant.

Xiaojun was inhaling sharply still trembling unable to relax. Reality was becoming distant, there was nothing to hold.

"The car keys." Muttered Yangyang so he took them out opening it.

They sat inside in total silence, that was spreading until Yangyang stretched the untouched burger still wrapped up in the box his way.

"You need to eat."

"That guy has touched it without gloves."

It was hard for Xiaojun to breath.

"The burger or the box." Yangyang's clever eyes were scanning him.

"The box."

"Will it be ok now?"

Xiaojun saw Yangyang opening the box carefully to not to touch the food inside, holding it his way.

It was... he couldn't even name it as that gesture... no one has ever done anything like that for him.

Xiaojun was suddenly trembling from a new type of emotional roller coaster when he took the burger out starting to eat quickly, although it felt awkward, in the quiet space of the car, with Yangyang's sharp stare and his closeness.

"I wish you could play something for me." Whispered Xiaojun after a longer while when he was almost done with the meal.

Yangyang's pure laugh became his music.

"Buy a ticket for a conce..."

Something banged against the car causing both to jump up.

Thank you for supporting me, it's a difficult time right now, an extreme time now and writing for you is really my only safe place. Please pray for me and my family that we will stay safe in that madness that is happening in my country right now.
Anyway I hope you enjoyed the chapter. What do you think about Xiaojun standing up to Jaemin to protect the violin and Yangyang's gesture? What has hit the car?

Much <3