JUST SMUTS/IMAGINES ABOUT DADDY

he's really gone.

Uhm so I changed my mind last minute just bc I am bored and it's 10:04pm and I am in the mood to write a depressing chapter bc that's my state of life rn. PLAY THE SONG NOW.

TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM AND $CU!C!D3.

Y/n: 

I just sat there on my bed thinking about where I possibly went wrong in my life. I lost him, we lost each other. I have been zoning in and out of reality. "did I really lose him? that quickly?", I've been asking myself questions that I knew I will never have the answer to. I mean my life has no meaning to it. I lost the love of my life I let him blow away in the wind. If only I had been there for him like whenever he was there for me, he always had my back and always made sure I was ok. Which made no sense of me to just leave him when he needed me most. His parents got into a car crash and passed away and I just acted heartless while he cried himself to sleep every night praying and worshiping that this horrible nightmare of his will just fade away. It didn't. I made it worse, I was supposed to be his rock, his will to live but I wasn't there for him. I knew what I did was wrong and If I could turn back time I would be there for him for every second, I wouldn't let another tear of pain fall from his eyes again. I failed, I failed as a girlfriend, a lover and a bestfriend. I lost him. And I will never be able to retrieve his heart again. His last words to me were " y/n, you know I was there for you, when your parent's kicked you out I welcomed you into my home with open arms. But since I am the one suffering you just shut me out." and with that he left. He blocked me on all social media's and he deleted my phone number. None of the boy's talked to me anymore. I mean why would they I am a selfish worthless bitch, I ruin everyone's lives. But eventually one day everyone's pain will end because I will be laid to rest, to sleep forever in this never ending nightmare.

Mattia's pov:

How could she be so selfish? I was always there for her when she needed me especially when her parents kicked her out after they found out she was doing drugs, but did I ever fail to assist her whenever she needed me? no because I loved her. I guess the feelings weren't mutual all those gifts I got her were for nothing. All them times I was by her side whenever she would feel even a little drop of sadness, I WAS THERE, and she cannot blame me for anything. I am the one in pain now and she was not even there for me she shut me out, they boys hate her now for what she did to me but I can't hate her because I am purely in love with her. They keep telling me to move on and that it's best that I move on and forget about her, But I can't, I just can't.

So I am going to end all my suffering and go up and pay a life time visit to heaven and see my beautiful parents again.

Nobody's pov:

With that the sad boy walked into the bathroom and grabbed a sharp blade he began slicing his wrists but he didn't feel anything he was numb  the blood was gushing out of the fresh cuts he made but that didn't make him realize what he was doing. And they blood didn't amuse him so he just wanted to end the process quicker. He grabbed a tube of sleeping pills and swallowed they whole bottle again he didn't feel anything and eventually he was gone.

the boys were going over to his house to see if he was doing alright. When they arrived they didn't hear anything and after numerous times of calling out to Mattia that went down into his room and through the small crack in the bathroom door. they seen a lifeless Mattia Polibio. their hearts started aching when they realized they lost their bestfriend, they two boys Kairi and Alejandro called the ambulance and they arrived pretty quickly but the devastating news hit them when the paramedics said" there was nothing they could do to save him, he's gone".

they broke down crying.

Ale: this is all your fucking fault y/n, Your a selfish bitch, he was always fucking there for you, you little motherfucking cunt.

You could hear the pain in his voice as he stood there in denial. Kairi on the other hand was in pure shock he didn't know what to do, well he just lost his bestfriend, but not for long because pure anger arose in him and he wanted revenge.

I am not crying your are.

I didn't really want this chapter to take such a dark turn but It's what I am feeling right now. And I will be posting the second chapter right after this one so don't worry.