I don't know

Chapter 9

John left around eleven that night and I was beyond exhausted. I got ready for bed and laid down to rest; at least now you wouldn’t have to go through this alone. You did feel really guilty about lying to John though, but now that you were going to be a mother you wanted to do what was best for your baby; John was what was best. As you got lost in your thoughts there was a pounding on your front door. At this hour you honestly had no idea who it could be, when you opened the door it definitely wasn’t who you were expecting. Luke.

You were left there stunned; he was definitely the last person you expected. He looked like hell and reeked of booze.

“Sarah, I miss you. I’m sorry I was a jerk you were just so sexy I couldn’t help myself, you’re really hot.” God he was so drunk and he wasn’t making you less mad at him; if anything he was making it worse.

“It’s late Luke, go home.” You turned to close the door on him. He put his foot in the door to try and stop you.

“Sarah wait, I need you, you’re my best friend I’m sorry.”

Your blood was starting to boil; it all sounded like lies to your ear. If he was sorry, if he really needed me, then where had he been the past few weeks?

“You don’t seem sorry, you seem fine to me,” you spat at him angrigly.

“Why would you even think that Sarah,I’ve been a wreck.”

“Oh, yeah right that brunette at your house today really shows just how much you need me. You needed me for a night just like her. Your selfish and you don’t care about anyone but yourself!” You didn’t realize how angry you were at him, but more importantly hurt by the fact that he hadn’t been there for you when you needed him most.

“That’s not true Sarah, “ he stumbled back the booze clearly catching up with his balance ,” if that was true I wouldn’t have been there for you all those years and done everything that you needed me too, I was there for you when no one else was Sarah.”

                “You haven’t been here for me the past few weeks, you basically just dropped off the face of the planet. I’ve been going through one of the hardest things I’ve ever faced and all I wanted was my best friend to be here for me, all I wanted was you, “  your voice dropped to a whisper, “and you weren’t here.”

                “It’s only been like a month Sarah, what the hell could I have missed in a short period of time?” his tone was sarcastic; you knew he wouldn’t care. Tears rimmed your eyes threating to spill over.

“I’m pregnant Luke, and I’m sure it’s yours.”

                He walked back into the wall and slid down; head in hands. You closed your door and left him there. He didn’t stop you either.

*Flashback*

“Sarah are you sure you want to do this?” John asked just as he was about to enter you.

“Yes I’m sure.”

As John pumped into you his work phone rang and he looked upset.

“I have to get it I’m sorry.” He got up and went to the other room to answer.

You got dressed and the rest of the night you two just hung out till you said you were tired and he left.

                You had replayed the night over and over that you had been with John, not only had you two not finished but you had worn a condom, it was next to impossible for him to be the one who got you pregnant. Luke, on the other hand… well you two were both drunk and in the moment, you knew you had finished and there was no evidence of a condom being used anywhere the next morning. It was only plausible for Luke to be the father and you hated that fact.

                John had been super sweet and caring for you, always making sure you had what you needed. Luke had tried to call and text you, but you didn’t want to hear his excuses. He had replaced you so quickly last time, you were sure he could do it again, he would be better off.

                You tried to not focus on Luke as much as possible and instead started reading about everything you needed to know to become a mother.

                It was a Friday night and John came and picked you up for a date. When you two pulled into a parking lot of one of the priciest places in town you wondered what the occasion was.

                “I just want to treat the mother of my child to a nice dinner.” He smiled as he took you in and led you inside.

                Dinner was amazing but the prices were insane; you enjoyed every last bite though. As the dinner ended and you packed up your leftovers and waited for the check John came and stood next to you, taking your hand.

                “Sarah I love you so much, and not only have you given me the gift of your love, but your also giving me the gift of our perfect child together,” he reached into his pocket and pulled out a velvet box, “I know this is quick and we haven’t known each other long,” he got down on one knee,” but will you make me even happier than you already have and marry me?”

                You could feel sweat forming; you looked around and saw the restaurant had went silent as they awaited for your answer. You knew you didn’t love John the way you loved Luke, but you did care about him and you did plan to raise your child with him.

“Yes,” you finally managed.

He slid the ring on your finger and everyone cheered; you were now engaged to a man you didn’t love and were pregnant with another man’s child.

This is defiantly not how you pictured your life going.