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September 1st is the first day of Hogwarts. I was practically shaking when going through the platform 9 and 3/4 barrier considering what happened in my fifth year at Hogwarts.



FLASHBACK:
'Nice one James!' shouted Sirius Black as Harry shot a spell at Lucius Malfoy. I could see Bellatrix Lestrange standing at the other end of the room pointing her wand at Sirius. I knew only too well what she was about to do.
'Sirius move!' I yelled at him. He didn't her me. I tried to run to Sirius but Lucius shot a spell at my leg and I couldn't walk.
'Avada Kedavra!' I heard Bellatrix shout from across the room.
Sirius turned and he was hit by the curse. His last smile was still upon his face as he swayed momentarily and fell into the archway.
'NO!'
He was dead. I saw it coming. Harry's screams we're agonising. My heart ached. Sirius was like family. To all of us. I felt too guilty not to tell Harry I knew what Bellatrix was about to do to Sirius, he told me it wasn't my fault. He also hasn't talked to me since.


PRESENT:
He blamed me for his godfathers death and, naturally, soon the whole school knew. I blamed myself for it too. If I had run faster, shot a spell at Bellatrix, done anything... Sirius might still be alive.

The looks I got on the train home from my classmates were painful. I got no letters over the summer. Not even from Hermione and Ron. I guess they wanted to be there for Harry. Which I understand.

'Poppy? Poppy!' I snapped out of my daydreams and turned to face my father who was frantically calling my name.

'There you are! You walked off while we were trying to find your sisters cat!'
I looked down at the ginger tabby cat on the floor, scratching against my mothers leg.
'Now. Be safe this year. No... dangerous business.'

I know he was referring to the Ministry of Magic incident. There was an awkward pause.
'Darling,' my mother spoke up, 'please don't blame yourself for what happened with Sirius.'

I winced. We hadn't spoke about it all summer and the mention of Sirius' name made my heart ache.

My mother carried on,' no matter what anyone says, remember it wasn't your fault. I'm sure no one else believes it. They're just wanting to side with Harry.'

I couldn't look my mother in the eyes. She knew herself that it wasn't true. Everyone believed Harry because in our 4th year he was right about Voldemort coming back so now he "must be right about everything" according to some second year Ravenclaws I heard talking about it at the end of last term.

"I brought you a little start-of-year gift. It's a specially made bracelet. It's enchanted to make it always smell if vanilla. I know it's your favourite smell."

My mum slipped the bracelet on my wrist and I was overcome with the strong smell of vanilla. I really did love it.

'Thanks mum. I'm going to get on the train.' I smiled at my parents and followed my sister who was already confidently walking over to a crowd of Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors. She has it so easy. Her real name is Madeline after my great nan but all her friends call her Maddie. I heard shouts of her name as she walked over to them and hugged them all. They all looked so happy to see her.

As they got on the train, a sinking feeling appeared in my stomach. I suddenly realised how afraid I was.

Who would I sit with? No one would greet me surely? Would people stare and whisper?

I took a deep, shuddery breath and walked over to the nearest door. As soon as I got on, I knew all eyes were on me.

It's funny, I used to be invisible. No one knew who I was. Then I became friends with Harry and co. I was noticed. In a good way. It was nice. Now everyone hated me.

The looks I got were far from friendly. I tried to avoid eye contact with anyone and walked off into an empty compartment at the end of the train so no one could walk past and stare in.

Around five minutes later, I heard the voices of Hermione and Ron talking to Harry.
'Harry please. Can you not even try to make up with Poppy.'

My ears pricked up at the sound of my name.
'It's not her fault Sirius is,' Hermione paused, 'no longer with us.'

'It is!' Harry raged. 'She knew Bellatrix was about to kill Sirius. SHE KNEW!'
I flinched at the sudden loudness and anger in his voice.
'Calm down mate. The whole train will hear,' Ron said to Harry.

'There was nothing Poppy could do. She was on the floor. I saw it.' Hermione pleaded.

'She could have still used her wand could she not?' Harry exclaimed.

There was a long pause and then a scuffle of feet as Harry walked down to find a compartment. He walked past mine and did a double take. He looked at me with a look of sorrow yet disgust.

For a second, just a second, I thought Harry would come into my compartment and say all was forgiven- but that's not what happened.

He walked back down the train and said to Ron and Hermione, ' Let's go somewhere else. Come on.'

I sank back into my train seat. Was this what is was going to be like all year? I don't know if I can bear it. My watch beeped 11:00 and the train was off. Off to Hogwarts, alone and scared.

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