Scarred Hearts

Better days ahead

Brian's POV

Getting life to go on was really hard. Things weren't the same ever since that day. Brian discovered that the pain and scars he tried to bury earlier on were still dug up freshly.

Even after all this time,it still hurts to know he could never be with the one he loved. Not that she couldn't be with him physically but the fact that she only needed him for closure and not a companion was heartbreaking.

" It seems dramatic and self-indulgent to want to say things so long after the fact — I should  just behave like an adult and gotten over it, right?" He asked himself still depressed from the recent fluctuation of his emotions.

" I mean, isn’t that what marks the transition from petulant child to wise, well-balanced adult: the ability to recognize when something is over and accept that you can’t change it? " Brian said has he paced around the room with Errol rubbing his hand on his temple.

Errol scuffs  . " You know man, with many things in my life, I guess I too sometimes walk around with the frayed strings of things I had broken off — words I didn’t say, ways in which I got hurt , people I hurt as well and things that I’ve changed that I wish you could see."

"So what exactly are you trying to say ?" Brian asked pouring the sixth cup of coffee he had that morning.

Errol smirks. "  I am saying you think you moved on but you haven't. I think you should try doing something new for a change instead of trying to hurt every thing living within your reach." He smiles.

Meanwhile, those words bring back vague memories of things he had done to hurt people. As he resonates, a false grin forms up on his face.

" Wait man. Don't tell me you already hurt someone. What did you do to Ellesmere ?" Errol asks with a bit of concern but Brian keeps on sobbing.

" Tell me what you did or am calling the cops !" He exclaims.

Brian calms down then begins to  explain.

" Chill man. First of all I didn't commit a murder. I just made a mistake."

"  So what' you do this time ?" Errol blurts.

" I hurt someone as in not hurt hurt, I mean I made a lady feel bad. I hurt her feelings." Brian says narrating his first hand experience with a stranger on social media.

" I didn't mean to. Is just that night I read this article on how to relief stress and heart ache. I decided to create an account, maybe get into an adventure but instead I met this lady and I think I must have hurt her really bad." He sighs.

" I said really hurtful things and I am sorry. I have never met her before but am unaware if she reported me for cyber bullying or something."

Errol places a plate of beacon bites on the table between them. " So first off, you are gonna apologize whether she forgives you or not, you have to. And also I think you need to take one of those anger temperament classes."

" Hahaha... You are kidding right." Brian chuckles.

" About apologizing ?" Errol, whose mouth was filled up muttered.

" No. The anger temp classes. You don't mean it, do you ?" Brian says.

" Oh yeah. I'm serious. If that class isn't gonna work, I don't know what will." Errol chatters as he smirks.

Deep down Brian was busy in thoughts. His thoughts kept running back to the very time he started off with the strangers.

" How bad had he hurt the stranger ? She didn't do anything wrong, all she did was say she couldn't give out personal information. I think I shouldn't have over reacted." He sighed to himself.

Having gone through the only evidence of his guilt - their virtual conversation, Brian concluded he would start off a new beginning by apologizing. If he couldn't do it in person, the least he could do was write one.

The words didn't come at first. So instead he started scribbling everything that came to his mind until he eventually put them all together making a master piece.

"Dear You,"  The keyboard clicked as his fingers rested against them.                    

"I didn’t really know what to write when I first set out to talk to you. It seems dramatic and self-indulgent to want to say this things even after it already happened.  The fact is I understand how much it means to be hurt and I think I shouldn't have done same to you. I don't know you but I want to say I'm sorry for everything I said the last time. The pain I had refurbished into anger wasn't an excuse to justify my actions. I should have just been an adult and gotten over it, right? I mean it, I am very much sorry. Hope you accept my apologies. P.S. the name is Brian."

He wrote as the last words clicked on the screen. Somewhere deep down it hurt to feel the guilt but this letter felt like the first transition into a new lifestyle - one he would learn to love again.

Brewing up a couple of tea, he jumps into a Calvin Klein apparel and off he went. In a bid to start off a new life.

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Wrote this piece in one seat, sipping juice and listening to Smile by Juice WRLD. I regret nothing !🤪

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