A Plethora Of Poems

Funny Story...

I know this isn't a poem or anything remotely inspirational or anything like that, but this is by far the best thing my dog ever did and I need to write it out. I hope you enjoy, and most importantly, laugh!

*
Years ago and a 105 degree F day, my mom was home alone and was watching over our dog, Coco, and our neighbor's dog, Mickey, who were the best of friends. She put them outside and then took a nap WHILE THEY WERE STILL OUTSIDE (which I acknowledge was not a smart move at all) and woke up three hours later to discover that the fence gate had been open, and the dogs ran away. My mother went hysterical and ran about the neighborhood screaming at the top of her lungs for the dogs while the neighbors looked at her like she was insane. She and our other neighbor got in the car and went everywhere, searching.

Meanwhile, Ms. Kristen, Mickey's owner, had received a phone call. Springfield Hospital, also known as the mental institute, insane asylum, etc. The workers had been able to look at Mickey's dog tag I guess, and contacted her, telling her that her dogs were currently rolling around in the tomato patches, which had been a therapy project for the patients. They told her that the one dog, the big yellow one (my dog) wouldn't listen to a word they said, and was extremely stupid.
"No," Ms. Kristen said. "No no no no no. You need to talk to that one in Spanish."
Explanation time: my mother is Hispanic, and at the time had very poor English. Our dog responded to Spanish commands much better than in English.
"What?" The worker said.
"You know, Spanish. Say sientate."
"I am not telling the dog sientate."
I'll leave it up to you to figure out how this conversation ended.
Ms. Kristen proceeded to call my mother afterwards, who raced down the Springfield Hospital to get the dogs, who smelled of dirt and tomatoes and had burned their paws so badly they could barely walk.
~
Years later, Ms. Kristen is at a restaurant with an old friend who used to babysit her daughter a very long time ago.
"So what are you doing now?" Ms. Kristen asked her.
This friend then told her about how she was working at none other than, wait for it, Springfield Hospital.
"This one time though, we were doing this therapy project for the patients- a tomato patch- and those two dogs just came and absolutely wrecked it, rolling around!"
This is where Ms. Kristen tenses.
"What did- what did these dogs look like?"
"Oh, one of them had large floppy ears- looked like a Bassett hound to me-" this would be Mickey, "and the other one kind of looked like a Dalmatian, except or was yellow, and was so stupid-"
Ms. Kristen cut her off right around here.
"Hey, um, those dogs?"
"Yeah?"
"Those were my dogs."

"What?"

*
This is also dedicated to Coco and Mickey, of course. Coco passed away last May due to old age, and Mickey was put down shortly after last Christmas due to lung cancer. Long live the memory of the tomato patch adventure.