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"Don't be so hard on yourself."
⋆✧✩playboiuzi ✩✧⋆
Omniscient
Jordan stared at his reflection in disgust as he look at himself in the mirror. He no longer viewed himself as a person but rather an object, at least that's what his past hook ups made him believe. He stood in the bathroom for roughly ten contemplating on whether he should see a man who he had met on Instagram or just stay home.
On one hand, he seen it as an opportunity to finally meet someone who didn't judge him for the things he did with his body in the past but on the other, he felt as if this guy would treat him the same and would just bash him for his past decisions. Instead of meeting someone who constantly judged him, he wanted to meet someone who would shower him in love and attention-the very things he craved. He took a deep breath before going with his first instinct. What could go wrong with that? Even if the guy did end up judging him it wouldn't be the first time that it would've happened. Jordan was used to it now.
Jordan walked to his closet in search of an outfit to wear. He would've picked an outfit similar to the ones that he normally wore but due to the constant judging from others, he became self conscious. To avoid judgement he decided to just wear a sweatshirt with a pair of ripped jeans. This would surely stop the judgement, right? As he began to get ready, he couldn't help but wonder the outcome of the night. Would this guy be like the rest or would he treat him with respect?
♡
Jordan knocked on the door of the individual's residence. He looked at his shoes before letting out a sigh. Even though this wouldn't be his first time meeting up with someone he was still nervous. Within the span of a few minutes, the door swung open to reveal a rather short male on the inside.
"You look pretty today." He spoke with a smile causing Jordan to blush. He wasn't used to receiving complements.
"Thank you." Jordan replied just above a whisper as he entered the house. He took a look around. Everything was so neat and organized. "Wow." He gasped. The man chuckled.
"You like it?" Jordan nodded.
"It's gorgeous." The man took his hand and lead him to the dining room. Once there, Jordan was greeted with with a table covered in a variety of different dishes, one of which happened to be spaghetti, his favorite. He was surprised that the man had remembered.
"It's not the best I could've done but I hope that you like it." The man spoke before sitting at the table. Jordan joined him. He was shocked that he didn't consider this to be good enough. It was perfect in Jordan's eyes. To him, it showed that he actually cared.
"Thank you." He paused. He didn't know what to call him since they had never exchanged names. "I didn't get the chance to catch your name, what should I call you?" The man chuckled.
"Symere, just call me Symere. What should I call you baby?" Jordan blushed. He wasn't used to being called pet names like this.
"J-Jordan." He stuttered before taking a bite of spaghetti. He couldn't help but to mentally slap himself for stuttering. He hated it when he stuttered. Symere noticed how unhappy he seemed and began to hold his hand.
"What's the matter Jordan?" He asked with concern laced in his voice.
"I just hate the fact that I stutter when I'm nervous." Jordan expressed as he looked away from Symere. He expected him to hate it too but surprisingly, he didn't seem to mind it.
"It happens sometimes baby it's not like you can help it." He smiled. "Don't be too hard on yourself, ok?" Jordan knew that Symere didn't mean harm by this comment but it was kind of hard not to judge yourself when you were so used to it. Despite the challenge he nodded and tried his best to be nice to himself. He wanted to please Symere in any way possible.
"I'll try not to." Jordan responded before taking another bite of his food. "I can't promise you that I can though."
"I know it's gonna be hard but please don't bring yourself down over things you can't control, it's not gonna make things any better." Jordan nodded once more. Why was Symere being so nice to him?
♡
"That was good." Jordan complemented as he grabbed his dirty dishes and put them in the sink.
"Thank you but I could've put them away for you." Symere responded. "You didn't have to."
"It was only a few plates, it's not a big deal." Jordan shrugged.
"True but I don't want you to feel like you have to clean up. I can do all the cleaning." Symere assured him. Jordan made his way to the couch and sat down.
"What are we gonna do now?" He asked before Symere came over and sat next to him.
"I think you know what we finna do baby." Symere leaned over before pulling Jordan into a long, passionate kiss. He jumped at the sudden action but allowed Symere to continue. Symere grabbed his hand and allowed their fingers to intertwine. This moment meant a lot to Jordan.
After a moment, he pulled away to catch his breath. He looked Symere in the eyes before speaking. "Please be gentle." He tried his best to maintain eye contact with him.
"I promise I'll be gentle baby." Symere vowed. "I won't be rough until you tell me to."
"Thank you." Jordan was glad that Symere agreed to go slow with him. This had been the first time that someone had taken this request seriously. In the past, men would usually ignore it but Symere was different. He was more kind and understanding towards Jordan and that's exactly what he wanted. Could this be the beginning to a relationship?
