The Difference Between You and Me

Chapter 24

Ammie was awaken by a burst of thunder, she went over to her window to see that rain was indeed pouring. It was three in the morning as her clock confirmed so she stood there and listened intently to the rhythm of the rain, watching the raindrops race down the windowsill. She recounted the events of her birthday. Thinking back to how she ran out of the house leaving a clueless Jade and Josh. She knew it wasn't their fault for her behaviour but when they entered her room, all the bad memories came rushing back and suddenly she began to feel suffocated, so she had to leave in order to feel better. Whilst at the park, Ammie cried. She stared into space as tears rolled down her face. She had received quite a few pity and sympathetic looks but had just ignored them. All people did was judge without thinking for a second that they don't know the full story. Everyone walks around in their respective superhero capes, trying to be the hero of other people's lives, putting side their weaknesses and insecurities then condemning others because they chose not to wear a cape. The hypocrisy that saturates the world, that life operates on is so insane. Josh came to the park that day. As that thought crossed her mind, Ammie smiled. She remembered vividly what he had said to her when he saw her.

"I don't know you and I'm not asking to, even though I really want to. I just want you to know that whatever is bothering you, I'll always be here for you. Someone you cry to, vent to, get angry at and share your moments of happiness with. I know this isn't a good time, but I like you Ammie. Ever since you came to Airama Nworb I've had a thing for you. And by following you around-"

"Stalking," Ammie corrected

"Ruining the moment here," Josh laughed, "I realized you are so much different from other girls. Pulled me in with your mystery. Then you had the audacity to be pretty on top of it. Plus, your bold-faced difference from everyone else, challenging me and pushing back against me. I mean who does that? It's your fault really for making me fall," they both laughed at this time and Josh continued.

"These past few months that I have spent with you Ammie has just caused my feelings to become stronger. You changed me and you did without trying. You have every right to be skeptical. To be weary and uneasy. I can't blame you really after everything you've been through. But I honestly just want the best for you. And I know you know that. You can see it. You're not scared to let me in because you're afraid it'll end like everyone else. But you're afraid to let me in because you know that deep down, I'm not like the others. And the possibilities that opens up is terrifying. But, facing our fears is essential to growing up and experiences build us. And building by yourself is good but it's hard, and sometimes you break down, and you find it hard to continue. Everything closes in and you feel claustrophobic, suffocated, and held down. But sometimes when you build with someone. They can help you to carry the burden, even if only a little, and help you take that breath of fresh air that you need to keep moving. Let me help you build.

I really like you, a lot more than I've ever liked anyone else. That makes me willing to do things, say things, and open myself up to experiences I would never let anyone else have all because of you. And what's stopping me from doing it again? Because now I'm actually getting the chance to know more and fall for you deeper. And if I can fall for you from just knowing you on a superficial level, what do you think is happening now that I'm seeing glimpses of the girl underneath? I'm not going to turn and runaway with tail between my legs, as you may have seen, I kept coming back and I will keep coming back. I'm going to keep fighting for you, regardless of if you want me to or not. You have always managed on your own, but you don't have to just get by on managing. It can be more because you deserve more. I can't say for sure that I can give you more, but I will definitely try. And there's always a first time for everything. Maybe you don't need me, I'm not the most sentimental or compassionate guy in the world. But sometimes we have to think about what our hearts want. Because our needs keep us going, but our wants can evoke a happiness that and purpose within that makes the going have meaning. So, I dunno, do you want to like be my friend that's more than a friend but you never tell anyone that I'm more than your friend, but we both know we are more than friends and have an intense romantic and sexual tension that's constantly present whenever we're around each other?"

Ammie remember going through a rollercoaster of emotions in those few minutes, but at the end of the ride she laughed, a hearty laugh for the first time in months she laughed until tears escaped from her eyes, she hurled over and laughed not in a mocking way but at the delightful ironies of life. Life itself was truly unreliable but that was the best part of it.

She smiled at the memory and at that moment a lighting flashed illuminating the pitch-black sky for a split second, an uncanny reflection of Ammie's life at the current moment. Josh was the lightening in her seeming pitch-black life. And maybe to some it seems like a sudden move but to Ammie it was a long time coming and she just delayed it.

"I have a boyfriend?" she questioned herself. The thunder rolled again, and she chuckled silently as if she had gotten her answer. Deciding that she will be going to church today, Ammie went back to bed to get some sleep.