The Difference Between You and Me

Chapter 33

Jade took a seat in one of the two chairs at the window in the student lounge. Kimmel Center, 9th floor offered the most calming view of Washington State Park, Fifth Avenue, and the Empire State Building. And it was just what she needed after a long day of earth and environmental politics. Just as she gazed at the passers-by below busily going about their day, a girl sat down in front of her, took out her laptop and started typing away. But Jade simply turned her attention back to the world outside.

It's been a month since she and Ammie arrive back in New York and Jade can still remember her grandma's constant reminders of how she murdered her parents and brother. She thought her grandma would at least make her forget about the fact that her parents weren't there to celebrate the holidays with them but instead she got the opposite and in order to not completely lose it Jade had spent most of her time with Ammie and Josh. She distracted herself by getting Ammie and Josh back on speaking terms which worked and made her feel content. She couldn't ever make herself happy, no amount of therapy could erase the guilt she walked around with but at least she could make the people around her less miserable. Jade really did miss her family. She often wished she could have them around one last time, even if it meant that her parents would be fighting, or her brother would still be an absolute arse. She was ready to give up anything just to have that.

"Are you okay?" Jade looked up to see the girl who sat in front of her earlier, now staring at her with what appeared to be sympathy.

"Isolation is my therapy. So if you don't mind, I need another session," Jade replied and averted her attention to the scene outside the window. The girl chuckled

"Let me guess, Melancholy Minds?"

This caught Jade's attention. She only knew of one person who lived for Melancholy Minds and that was Ammie. "Yeah, you know him?" she asked curiously earning a smile from the girl as if she had just recalled a fond memory.

"I know of him and is familiar with his work. My sister introduced me to him a long time ago. He wasn't really my vibe initially, but I guess with time he sort of grew on me"

"Well my friend is a very big fan of his work. She literally speaks Melancholy Minds," Jade said remembering how much Ammie always talked about how reading Melancholy Minds' work was like watching him strip naked. There's always this intense realness, raw vulnerability in every single piece he produced.

"Sounds like a really cool girl," the girl spoke up

"Only the best"

"I'm Ann," she said with outstretched hand.

"Is that short for something?" Jade asked curiously

"Maybe", Ann smiled

"Jade," glancing down at the stack of books laying on the table in front of Ann, "law major?" Jade asked

"Yeah, I practically have no life," Ann shrugged, "You?"

"Umm, Environmental Studies"

"So global warming and all that"

"Pretty much. What are you up to?" Jade asked changing the subject, not really interested in anyone prying into her life. And half expecting Ann to tell her something about the great Professor Dicey and the rule of law.

"I'm actually typing an email to my sister"

"You guys really close?" Jade didn't know why she was still talking to this girl who appeared out of nowhere but there was something about her that seemed oddly familiar and warm. Ann sighed deeply as if Jade's question pained her.

"I don't know how to answer that. But I hope we can be"

Jade was confused by Ann's response but decided not to press any further. Instead they spent the evening talking about a range of random things. It wasn't an encounter that made Jade happy but a distraction that came at the right time and she appreciated it.

---

"Hey where've you been?" Ammie looked up from her book as soon as Jade entered the apartment

"Kimmel Center. I met a girl in the lounge. She's pretty cool," Jade said plopping down beside Ammie.

"Oh look at you being a human," Ammie playfully nudged Jade

"Eh, sometimes it's good to take a stroll on the wild side", Jade said earning a laugh from Ammie, "she likes Melancholy Minds," Jade added

"Oh? Well I demand to meet this cultured woman"

"Soon enough. What are you reading?"

"Turtles All the Way Down. I started it in high school but didn't get a chance to finish. I bought you a copy too. I don't know maybe you'd like it," Ammie handed Jade a copy that was on the table

"Quite bold of you to assume. Turtles All the Way Down, what does that mean?" Jade asked turning the book over in her hand.

"It's an infinite regress. Which is a series of related elements, with a first member but no last. Each element generating the next. It's endless; like life, it goes on forever"

Jade thought about the concept, "but isn't that a fallacy?"

"Fallacy?"

"Yeah, like circular argument. Because whether you're referring to the origins of the universe, the beginning of time, the distant future or any other regressive context the answer moves back into infinite regress instead of actually providing an answer to the issue"

Ammie stared at Jade for a while, "I don't know Jade, maybe," she shrugged.

"Hmm. So, what's for dinner?"

"I bought you an organic beef burger at Bareburger"

"You're the best," Jade said heading to the kitchen.

"Say it loud, say it proud," Ammie called out

Jade returned with her food, pushed Ammie's foot aside to sit down and turn on the television "This is heaven," Jade moaned into the burger causing Ammie to chuckle. Aren't you in a good mood and dare I say looking happy". But Jade ignored her comment and flipped through the channels in hopes of finding a horror movie.

She thought I was happy. But to her sunshine, radiant beauty and happiness I was the moon merely reflecting what she showed. Hiding my dark, desolate, damaged truth underneath.