The Difference Between You and Me

Chapter 23

I've had trust issues from ever since I can remember. It was always hard for me to trust anyone with every aspect of my life, no matter how close they were to me. There was never one person who could confidently say they knew who I am, and that's only because I never let anyone get close enough to. I guess it was the constant fear of being judged for who I am and the decisions I made. No one could see it from my perspective, you can never truly understand a person's life, deeds and reason for living until you've caught a glimpse from their perspective because life and the stories of life are all based on the perspective from which you are viewing, that only comes through shared experiences, and not many shared my perspective. And maybe it's a stretch but this is why so much conflict exists in the world. People are telling their stories from their perspective of life and others choose to disagree because they hold a different perspective.

So, I stopped, I stopped trying to explain my perspective of life and let people believe what they chose to, whether it was right or wrong, it was what they believed. I gave up on lecturing people that there was depth to life. That it was a journey and it was our individual jobs to make our journey unforgettable or regrettable. Life is short, and we all know this. But with this short time we have a decision to be forever remembered for the good or bad we contributed to life's great play or be forever lost in oblivion like a minor character with two lines.

We walk the earth often times being someone we're not, and other times not knowing who we are or who we're meant to be. But that's not the real story now is it? Maybe I'm just a delusional loner who overthinks everything and thinks about nothing.

"Annie?" Lilly asked

"Yes my dear?"

"I can't sleep"

Annie sighed and told Lilly to come into her bed. Despite sharing rooms with Annie Lilly was still afraid to sleep alone in her own bed. But Annie didn't mind, Lilly reminded her of Ashton. And she loved Lilly like a sister. She'd been entertaining her at nights with fantasies inspired by the events of her life thus far.

"Can you tell me a story?"

"Anything specific?"

"About my mom"

"Once upon a time there lived a queen named Marsha. She was a lonely queen, who only knew the perimeters of her kingdom. So one day she decided to go into the village under disguise. While in the village she sat on the road like a poor beggar because she wanted to see what the villagers were like. If they possessed any sense of humanity at all. To her dismay the villagers were cruel and mean, except for one Jack Burrows. He took Marsha to his stall, thinking to himself that she was the most beautiful girl he had ever laid eyes on. Jack gave her food and offered to take her home so she could have a warm place to lay her head. But she refused and went back to the Kingdom. For days she thought about the good Samaritan until she could take it no more. So Marsha went back to the village, this time as herself adorned in her gown, many jewels and with her royal court.

Many of the villagers who were mean to her upon seeing her flocked to her side offering their goods, bowing and praising her. But with Jack Burrows on her mind, they were all invisible. She saw him at his stall gazing out at nothing in particular. Smiling to herself she sat beside him at the very same spot where he had her sit the first time they met. By this time she had an audience as everyone gathered around curiously.

'May I ride your train of thoughts?' she said to Jack and the poor startled man could barely form words to answer her. So Marsha explained everything to him, and they got married six months later. Jack and Marsha had three amazing children, and the last one was the most adorable little girl they had ever set eyes upon, and they called her Lilly like the flower. But God decided that he wanted Marsha, and I agree that his decision was too sudden but who am I to argue with him? So Marsha went a year after little Lilly was born. She faded into a sky full of stars and gets brighter every time the sky gets dark."

By this time Lilly was fast asleep, or at least that's what Annie thought, "thanks Ann" she said weakly her eyes remained closed and turned on her side. Annie responded by hugging Lilly tightly and willed herself to go to sleep.

---

Annie was cooking dinner when she heard shouting on the balcony and rushed up to see if Ruth was okay. As soon as she reached the door she immediately retreated into the house, Isabelle was the one shouting at Ruth.

"How can you pay for her to go to New York for college and wants me to stay in Britain!" Isabelle continued

"Your father wants you to go to Oxford," Ruth said

"What does he care he's never here anyways"

"We are done talking Isabelle"

Annie turned to go back downstairs not wanting anyone to see that she was eavesdropping and accidentally knocked off a flowerpot. Both Ruth and Isabelle turned around to see Annie stooped over the pieces of what was once a rare flowerpot that Zan had given Ruth for her birthday two years before he died.

"Just great," Isabelle said and shoved pass Annie, "aren't you tired of ruining everything?" she stopped to ask Annie before leaving the balcony. Ruth watched as Annie finished taking up the pieces and as she was about to go discard of the remains Ruth turned back around to the view of the city, "come sit with me Annie," she said. Annie halted in her tracks, set the flowerpot remains aside and went to sit next to Ruth.

"I'm really sorry about your flowerpot Ruth. I came up to see if you were okay and happened to overhear your conversation with-"

"It was an ugly flowerpot Annie," Ruth said seriously and after a while they both started laughing.

"I see. I wanted to speak to you about something," Annie spoke up

"So do I but you go first"

"I want Lilly to have my Porsche when she turns 16. Can you make sure of that, please?"

"It will be done," Ruth smiled

"Thank you"

"Is that all?" Ruth asked

"Yes," Annie smiled back. Ruth took Annie's hands into hers

"It's my turn then. You are going off to college Annie and I can't begin to tell you how happy and proud I am for you. But I want you to promise me one thing. Don't let what happened with your family ever dampen your mood. But reflect on the good that came out of it, I found you and similarly you found me. I Love you Ammie as if you were my very own. And even when my grandchildren were awful to you, your smile never faltered. So as you go off to start a new journey, never stop smiling Annie and keep your humility in tacked. Take life one day at a time not in droves. Fall in love and let yourself be loved because sometimes your happily ever after is just around the corner, it all depends on which corner you take. Make mistakes and be proud of your mistakes, as they only make you more human. But most importantly learn from them and live well. Let go Annie, be free and see the person you are truly meant to be."

Annie leaped up and hugged Ruth as tightly as she could. And they just stayed there for a while embracing each other and the memories of their time together. "Thank you Ruth, for everything".