little love

18

it was weird - waking up alone in a quiet house.

there was this second sense that ashton had for years, and that was taking care of someone. there was this pulling in his chest to go to michaels, and go take care of calum. to hold his boy against his chest, to make him breakfast, to give him a tubbie afterwards.

it was pulling on him really hard.

yet, he needed to take this time alone, and actually take care of himself (which, he won't admit, but he hasn't been taking good care of himself for the past handful of weeks. when they're relationship started to crack, so did ashton. now that calum is gone from the house, ashton feels empty. the older boy knows its his fault, he's the one that needed space, yet he still can't find the strength to take care of himself).

ashton never had a problem being a caregiver. in fact, he loved his little more than the world. over time, though, calum had just became super dependent on ashton, and ashton became super dependent on always taking care of him. for calums own safety and his own life, ashton really just wanted calum to be able to also be independent when ashton wasnt there (not that ashton was planning on going away, or leaving calum alone for a long period of time. yet, ashton wanted calum to be independent in case something ever happened to him. thats all ashton wanted, was for his husband of five years to be independent for himself).

ashton also wanted to be able to spend a day away from calum (if he went shopping by himself, or if calum went to go visit his family or friends) and not constantly worry about him. they should be able to spend a day apart and not over worry. calum should be able to take care of himself and ashton shouldn't have to mope and worry so much-

ashton would never ever purposely ever leave calum. calum was ashtons soul mate, his best friend, his everything and this bump in their road was not going to change that for ashton. but, now that ashton had his space...he just wasnt sure he wanted it.

ashton picks up his phone, and dials lukes number. unfortunately, luke doesn't answer. so, ashton decides to go relax by taking a warm bubble bath.

ashton hoped that would calm his nerves.

_

unfortunately, it didn't. all ashton could think about was calum. has he eaten? has he taken a bath? has he been able to run around and color and-? it was all getting to ashton. it stressed him out even more because he knew michael was taking care of him.

calum was in good hands...he just wasnt in ashtons hands.

after his bath, ashton made himself a healthy meal...which he barely ate any of, and then went and laid on the couch. he figured maybe some sleep would help with his anxiety. so, as ashton tries to drift to sleep, there's only one thing on his mind.

calum.

little did he know, even at michaels expense, calum was still spiraling downhill.

____________________________

some important backround info
comments? predictions?
unedited
love u!