little love

25

calum slept peacefully for the first time in a long time. at least, it had been long to calum. yet, falling asleep in ashtons arms, and waking up in them...there was a sense of happiness and peace.

calum slept so good, he wasn't tired. nor did he want to get up from those strong arms that were his everlasting safe place. man, he missed this.

calum snuggles closer to ashton. he nuzzles his nose against ashtons bare chest, and lets his hand rest right below ashtons nipple. the warmth that was created between them was a warmth calum wanted to be surrounded in forever.

"mmm, good morning my love," ashton says, pulling calum closer. calum whines softly - it had been too long since calum had heard ashtons morning voice. it made butterflies grown in calums stomach.

"good morning, ashy," calum whispers, looking up at ashton. ashton looks into calums eyes, smiles, and then presses a soft kiss to calums head. it was so peaceful, so perfect, and calum was just overwhelmed with happiness.

then, calums stomach growls loudly. it has ashton bursting into laughter.

"i guess that means its time for breakfast, huh?" ashton asks, rolling them over so he was laying on top of calum.

calum giggles, "i don't wanna get up, ashy!"

"your tummy says otherwise," ashton says, sitting up. his fingers instantly start to attack calums sides, making the boy burst into laughter and squirm around.

"a-ashy!" calum laughs, trying to get away from ashtons fingers, "i-i have to p-pee!"

"oh, do you now?" ashton giggles, deciding to stop. calums panting as he curls into a ball, still giggling a bit since he has to recover from being tickled.

"how about, you go potty and then meet me in the kitchen?" ashton asks, already climbing off the bed.

"o-okay," calum mumbles, not really wanting to be away from ashton so early in the morning.

yet, he needed to learn to be. calum knows, as much as he wants to stay by ashtons side (even in their own home) he has to go and do things himself when he's a big boy.

ashton smiles, places a reassuring kiss to calums head, then bounds out of the room. calum thinks for a couple more minutes, about everything since all he was thinkthinkthink, then he just gets up, does his business, and then bounds happily to the kitchen.

ashtons buttering some toast on a plate with some scrambled eggs, and the sight plus the smell makes calums mouth water.

"that smells so good, ashy," calum says, taking a seat on his kitchen chair.

"thanks baby," ashton says, setting the plates down on the table. calum waits until ashton sets the drinks on the table and sits down next to him to eat.

they eat in a comfortable silence. everything felt normal, everything felt right.

"hey, cal?" ashton asks after he finishes his drink and sets his cup down. calum hums, and looks over at ashton.

"what made you want to go to the store and buy me flowers?"

calum bites his lip, and looks down at his hands that rested on his lap.

then, ashtons hand is wedging its way between calums hands. calum looks up at ashton as he feels ashton grab his hand, and interlace their fingers.

"just talk to me, baby."

"i went...i wanted to go because i-i want to be better," calum says, taking a deep breath.

"do you mean, be better with your anxiety?"

"y-yeah," calum says, squeezing ashtons hand, "i wanted to be better...for you...for us. being away from you...i-i cant handle that, ashton. i can't."

"i know that its hard, sweetheart," ashton whispers, "and i want you to know that i didn't do it on purpose. i knew that if i brought this up that you wouldn't have agreed so a break was needed that way you could see more clearly and so could i. besides, we were both heading down a bad path anyway. neither of us were willing to talk."

calum takes a deep breath. sometimes his anxiety would always stop from him talking, and then when he would talk with ashton (like right now, with ashton squeezing his hand and reassuring him, it wasnt bad at all). as soon as he started to talk, it wasn't bad at all. calum sometimes forgot how easy it was to talk to ashton.

calum sighs, "you're right, ashton. i just...im sorry for my behavior before. i was acting like a complete-"

"no, stop right there," ashton says, "the past is over with. there is nothing to worry about now besides our future, and how we can improve it and improve ourselves. i already told you, you're the love of my life. i really just want whats best for you, calum. the absolute best for you."

calums eyes are watering, "i am so scared, ashton. im scared whenever im not with you. and, after a lot of thinking in michaels spare room...i realized how scared that makes me, and how you have always been there for me."

ashton smiles softly, "i love you, baby. i think. the first thing we need to do is call the doctor, and get you in and started on some anxiety medicine. not to be mean, but we both know you have such terrible anxiety."

calum chuckles, "i know...im sorry."

"don't apologize, sweetheart. really, i feel like i should be apologizing. we should've done this years ago. i should've pushed you towards anxiety medication and i should've pushed you to be more independent."

"why...why do all these things now, though?"

"because, sweetheart, we're getting older. in a couple years, i will be thirty. thirty, calum! thats old. and, i need you to be able to go out with me, and talk to people. i need you to go spend the night at michaels house, or a friends house, and be able to be away from me for a night. in case something happens to me, which it won't, i need you to be able to take care of yourself. the truth is, at some point i won't be able to take care of you anymore. and trust me, baby, that's one thing that scares me to death. i always want to be able to take care of you. but, you need to be able to take care of yourself."

calum nods slowly, "yeah...you're gonna be old."

"im half tempted to bend your ass over my lap and spank you til you apologize."

calum just giggles.

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cuties
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