little love

22

calums heart felt more broken then it felt before. maybe there was something he could've said that would've made ashton stay this time. or, maybe something he could've said to ashton so he could come back home. either way, calum was completely emotionally and physically drained.

being heartbroken really took its toll.

calum wanted to feel something other than pain radiating though his chest. it was like, the ribs that use to keep calums heart safe were no longer doing that. they didnt keep his heart safe. instead, they kept his heart behind these battered and breaking bones. no matter how many times his heart would beat again those bones in an attempt to break free and move on, they kept strong.

there was no breaking them all the way. there was no escaping his own pain.

it felt like he was left alone, to wallow and swim in his own pain and tears. was he suppose to die like this? the poor boy hoped not. all he wanted was to go back home, and be with the love of his life. to lay in ashtons arms, to be surrounded in the warmth and love he was so use to. calum would do anything.

which has calum thinking about what ashton said.

"...what matters, and i know you don't see it like this, but...you are so dependant on me, love. and im so dependent on taking care of you that some days i forget to take care of myself. i need you to be able to be independent on your own, in case something happened to me. i want you to be able to function on your own, and think for yourself. i need to relax, and take some time for myself."

dependant.

that was a funny word to calum. he didn't think he was too dependent on ashton...was he? calum groans as he shoves his face into the pillow. so, calum does what he does best - he starts to think.

_

calum felt fear and panic shoot up his throat. he was sat on an exam table, with his swollen ankle propped up for the doctor to look at once the doctor entered the room. the poor boy had fell, managing to twist his ankle as he did. so, ashton brought him to the doctors that way they could make sure it wasn't broken.

yet, when the doctor came in, calum could only look at the doctor with a dry mouth. then, he turned to ashton. ashton, who knew calum fell into his little space. so, ashton turned to the doctor and started to talk for calum.

_

calum could see how tired ashton was. they had been with their friends, ryan and leah, for a week now since their own house had been broken into. it was hard for them both. calum basically glued himself to ashtons side.

ashton, no matter how tired he was, still pushed away all of his feelings to make sure calum was still eating, bathing, and sleeping just fine. the poor boy didnt see it back then - he didnt see how ashton only took calum of calum.

_

calums eyes widen as he looks at ashton in panic. some snobby boys had made a nasty remark to calum, and all the boy could do was look at ashton and stay close to him. ashton, of course, dealt with the snobby kids.

calum could barely talk for the rest of the day. ashton was the one who was there, trying to pull him out of his head.

_

calum has to swallow harshly. ashton was right. throughout everything they had been through, through everything they did - ashton was there to speak for him, to think for him, and to even take care of him.

calum didn't realize that. maybe if he hadn't been so selfish, he would've made sure ashton would eat too - that ashton was also sleeping enough and bathing enough. more and more memories start to fill his head, and it makes calum start to whine. luckily, michael had come into the room, holding a hot cup of tea.

that stopped some of the overbearing thoughts.

"hey callie," michael hums softly, sitting next to calum on the bed, "how was your talk?"

calum closes his eyes. all he can see is ashton, and how tired ashton looked. especially during their latest fight. then, regret started to fill his gut.

calum starts to cry.

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i probably erased and rewrote this a handful of times. pls, show this chapter some love cause it was hard to write.
comments? predictions?
unedited
love u