Impossible Love // Michael Clifford

Epilogue: the end

*20 years after the deaths of Zivian Gandor and Michael Clifford*

"Mom, can I dye my hair blue and green?" Vivian, 17, asked her mother.
"Why on earth would you want to do that?"
Vivian shrugged.
Her mother sighed, spinning the ring on her index finger.
"I suppose so."
"Yay! Also. Can I see that band Minute of Moonlight? I'm in love with the guitarist, Gordon."
Her mother sighed, again spinning her ring.
"I suppose so. If you can get the money yourself."
Vivian ran up to her neon blue room, opened her closet and reached into the farthest corner. She pulled out a little red shoe box she hadn't seen before.
With a puzzled look, she opened it.
Inside were four handwritten letters.
The first in very crooked, very blood spattered print.

Anyone who finds this,
I can't go on without Zivian. I can't. Everyone's noticed. I can't keep hurting everyone like I have been. I'm taking John's gun to the park and ending everyone's misery.
And Ziv, if you happen to find this, I love you. I'll see you soon, my dear.

Vivian raised an eyebrow and looked at the other three letters.
The second one was written in blue pen. Curly cursive read:

8/14/2006
Dear mother,
I'm sorry to tell you such bad news. I'm moving in with Trisha in a week. I'm in love with her.
I hope you still love me, Zivian.

"How strange." She said aloud to herself. "Mom used to talk about a girl called Zivian..."
She picked up the envelope attached to the letter.
It was sent from Ohio to Vivian's house, 20 years previous.
The third letter was written in the same blue pen. It was tattered and slightly faded.

To whom it may concern,
I'm alone. I can't handle it. I'm utterly alone. I have no one! I try to tell everyone without saying anything that I'm not okay and nobody ever notices! I can't keep going like this on my own. I have my death date planned. I'm taking John's gun to the park next Saturday and ending my misery.
By the time anyone finds this it'll be too late.
I'm sorry.
-Zivian

Vivian picked out the last letter, it wasn't as tattered as the others.
It was her mothers handwriting.

8/15/2009
Ziv,
It's been three years since I lost you.
I'm still so in love with you. I still can't believe you're gone. I moved into your old house after your parents went in the dumpster. Your mom had a breakdown at work and got fired. John left her soon after that. Trianna moved in with me. I guess your mom almost got her taken away. She got a job babysitting the neighbour kids and she helps out with my daughter, Vivian. I named her after you... Oh Ziv you'd love her! I haven't found love since you left, so I went to a bank and had a doctor help me out. She just turned one yesterday. I wish you could've been there. I wish you could've been there when she was born. She looks just like you did.
Your mom gave me some pictures of you throughout your life. Your terribly short life. Vivian looks just like you did when you were one. She has your beautiful green eyes.
I know you'll never, ever be able to see this. But oh god do I love you.
Oh god do I miss you.
Love always, Trisha

Vivian went back downstairs to where her mother sat at the kitchen table.
"Mom?"
She looked up at her daughter.
"What's this?" Vivian handed her the box with the letters.
Her mother pulled them out slowly, one by one. She then sat up and told her daughter about Zivian, her best friend, her other half, the love of her life.
Vivian listened intently when Trianna walked in the door with a blue stuffed penguin in hand. A priceless ring with ten stones shone on her finger. Two diamonds, two emeralds, a ruby, a garnet, two pearls, a topaz and an opal. All each smaller than a corn kernel.
"Hi Trisha."
"Hey, T. Come sit down."
Vivian just stared blankly at the person the thought was her sister. Turns out she was her aunt.
"Hey, aunt Trianna." She said.
Trianna's eyes widened and a tear slipped down her cheek.
"She found it." She said quietly. "She found the box." Trianna took the shoe box and the letters and rifled through them.
"T, where did you find that box?"
"You left it out. I read them and hid it in her closet. I hoped she'd find them..."
Trianna and Trisha sat silently, tears occasionally slipping from their eyes, remembering Zivian. The blue and green haired girl with green eyes and full lips.
Trisha looked to her daughter and held up a picture of Zivian at the age she died.
They were identical.
"Mom?" Vivian said, pulling Trisha from her flashback.
"Come here, kid." Trisha said quietly. She pulled Vivian in her lap and told her every story she had of Zivian, her other mother.
Trianna listened quietly, adding in sometimes and flipping through the letters a million times.
"She would've loved you." Trianna said to Vivian.
Vivian smiled, already knowing how these stories ended.