Impossible Love // Michael Clifford

Sacrifice: something you do for love

"I've given up music, Ziv. I quit the band." Michael sniffled in the cold air. "I couldn't focus when all I could see was you in everyone I met or every song I sang." He started crying quietly. "I miss you. It's been three months, the cold weather has gotten colder. Trianna asks all the time why she can see you and nobody else can. Zivian." He knelt in the cold, dead grass and leaned his head against my gravestone. "I can't see you anymore, you've moved on. And I miss you so much. I know you're here with me. I miss you. I miss seeing you and talking to you. Oh god how much I miss you. I love you even more." He kissed my name and sat there for a minute until the tears weren't flowing as heavily.
"I gave up my life because I don't want it without you."
The song If I Can't Be With You by R5 popped into my head;
I don't wanna be famous,
I don't wanna if I can't be with you
Everything I eat's tasteless, everything I see don't compare to you, Paris, Monaco and Vegas,
I'd rather stay with you if I had to choose, baby you're the greatest, and I got everything to lose, and I just want to be with you
And I can't ever get enough
Baby give it all up, up, I'd give it all up, if I can't be with you
All of this stuff sucks, yeah all of this sucks if I can't be with you
And, No Oscar, No Grammy, No mansion in Miami
The sun don't shine the sky ain't blue,
If I can't be with you
He stood, placed another kiss to my stone and walked away to his car.
I went with him and climbed in his open passenger window.
I held his hand the whole way home.
Not that he knew that, but I did it.
We got to my old house and he ran up to my old room which was now his.
Some of my stuff was in boxes and stuffed away in my old closet.
Michael insisted on keeping everything of mine. My clothes, for Trianna. My jewellery, some for Trianna, some for momma. My bed, sheets, furniture. Everything was still where it always had been.
Michael wanted it that way.
The walls were even still that sick obnoxious neon blue I loved.
Michael wanted it that way.
He threw himself on top of my old blue blanket on my old bed and sobbed into his pillow.
I sat next to him and rubbed his back.
"Michael you didn't have to do that."
"I had to give everything up for my dead girlfriend." He flipped over to his back and held my favourite blue penguin close. "I'm in love with you Zivian...not that you can hear me." he cried harder.
"Michael I can hear you but you can't hear me!" I couldn't stand seeing him crying. So like in the hospital, I had to walk away. Trianna saw me and waved. I smiled at her.
She was only 10, she still believed in everything. Fairies, goblins, ghosts, and dragons.
Her mind still worked to see me.
"Hi Trianna."
"Hi Zivian."
Mom froze in her cooking of pasta and looked at Trianna.
"Baby, Zivian's gone. Stop pretending she's still here."
Trianna looked down.
"Sorry, mom."
I went back upstairs with my head hung low and layed with Michael.
"I'm sorry Michael. I didn't mean for this to happen."
"I gave up everything for a girl who left me for some other girl. I'm so stupid." He sobbed into my blue penguin and beat his fists into my pillow. "I love her I love her I love her."
I couldn't watch any more.