Strings (1 of 2)

Chapter 25 - Pathetic

[Dean's POV]

I know it would be easier if I stayed away. It's not fair to anyone involved when I don't - Em, me... Ava. 

Maybe I would think about her less if I did.

But I know that's a lie. For three years she was gone and I never stopped thinking about her. What she could be doing, who she is with, if she is happy, why did she leave... I moved on to other girls to try and get her out of my system but nothing worked. Now I have a baby coming and that doesn't even fucking keep me from her.

When I saw her at the party, it was a complete surprise. I never thought she would be there. I hoped, subconsciously, but I didn't know. It's not her scene. If I would have known, I would not have brought Ava. If I wouldn't have seen her, I probably wouldn't have slept with Ava that night to try to distract myself from her face as she ran away stuck in my head. Then I wouldn't be in this mess.

No. The baby isn't a mess. I can't think like that.

But being engaged to someone other than Emily is.

It's pathetic how much I love the girl who broke my heart, especially when she has clearly moved on. The image of them laughing in the pool together has been on repeat in my mind since I saw them at her house. I should have left before he saw me, but I stayed one second too long, trapped and stuck in my place with the hurt of her new love right in my face.

He gets to be with her now, whoever he is. I never did get a name. That guy with the black hair and tattoos... the opposite of me. Maybe that's what she wants... someone not like me...

Maybe that's why she left me.

I shake the thoughts out of my head as I watch her walk to the kitchen. Jake is talking to me, asking me something, but I can't hear him over the sound of my own heart beat in my ears.

I don't want to talk about Ava or the baby with her. It doesn't feel right. And I know she doesn't want to hear it. The look in her eye when she told Jake I'm engaged was very clear, despite how hard she was trying to cover it up. I know her well enough to be able to tell.

It's confusing. I don't think she is jealous. She is the one who left me, she wouldn't be jealous. Even if I don't know why, I still know it bothers her. And I don't want to do anything to bother her because then she leaves like she just did.

I don't know why I came here today. I had no reason other than to see her. I probably looked like an idiot stalker to her. I just couldn't stop myself. Knowing she was here and waiting to come near the end of her shift was almost unbearable all day at work. I woke up early to start work and finish before I knew she would get off, thanks to Jake sending me her schedule when I asked.

I'm exhausted from work but her hug made everything worth it. Her arms around me, the familiar lavender scent in her hair I love, her giggle - I needed it more than I want to admit. I wish she hadn't of pulled away. I wish more that anyone else in the world could make me feel like this, but sadly only she can. It has always only been her. Since we met as little kids.

Jake pulls me over to a table to chat beside the front window, near the entrance. I'm still annoyed he interrupted us before, but it was for the best. She probably would have said no to dinner anyways.

"Dude, why didn't you tell me? That's big news to keep to yourself." Jake shakes his head at me.

I don't know why I didn't tell him or any of my friends. I should have.

"Sorry, man. We haven't shared the news yet to many people. I didn't even think about it until Em mentioned it." I say and Jake nods but I can tell he thinks it's odd still. He should... it is.