Strings (1 of 2)

Chapter 34 - You Promised...

I wake up cold to the sounds of loud beeping and clicking. I'm vaguely aware of something poking my hand as I lay on something stiff. It smells weird. Bleach mixed with faded cologne and hand sanitizer. I crinkle my nose and open my eyes slowly, blinking as I adjust to the bright lights. Where am I?

After I can see more normally, I realize I'm looking at a white ceiling. The beeping and clicking continue, starting to irritate me. I turn my head to my left, wincing slightly from the stiffness of my neck.

I see a machine beside me with lines flashing across the screen. My heart beat. This must be the beeping. What the hell...

Why am I in a hospital? What happened?

I crane my neck further and spot someone sitting in a chair beside me. I blink a few times and finally recognize him. Why is my head so fuzzy?

Dean sits beside me in a grey t-shirt and blue jeans, an unusually casual look for him, reminding me of when we were younger. His normally perfect hair is a mess and he has dark circles under his eyes.

He frowns at the laptop on his lap, typing aggressively onto the keyboard. He has headphones in, probably to block out the beeping. He doesn't notice me being awake.

Why is Dean here? Why am I here?

Why does my head hurt?

As if on cue, patchy memories of last night flash in my mind. I close my eyes for a second, watching the scenes unfold in my head - from Chris, to the fight with Nathan, to coming back in the bar and taking that pill from a guy near the washroom and getting hammered, to dancing and Dean showing up, then finally the pain after the second pill.

I sigh and shake my head. That's why we're here.

My mouth suddenly feels extremely dry and so I try to reach for the cup on the tray next to me. The IV in my hand stings as I lift my hand and I yelp. Dean jumps a little in his chair, noticing I'm awake. He quickly pulls the headphones out of his ears and moves his laptop on to the table beside him, moving the chair closer to the bed.

He hands me the water with a small smile, but it doesn't reach his eyes.

"You're awake." He says and I nod as I take a drink. It's warm, but makes my throat feel much better.

"I..." I croak. I clear my throat and start again. "I'm sorry." My voice is still groggy but a bit better now.

I can see the disappointment in his eyes. It cuts through me like a knife. Of all people, I don't want to disappoint him. Never him.

"Do you feel okay? They had to pump your stomach. I'll get the nurse." He says in a rush and leaves the room before I can answer.

He returns a minute later with a young brunette woman in blue scrubs.

As she checks me out, I steal glances over at Dean. He looks away the entire time, pretending to be fascinated by a chip in the wallpaper beside him, avoiding looking at me.

Finally after she says I look okay, she leaves and Dean reluctantly returns to the chair beside me. His eyes are distant and cold, very unlike him. It makes me look away.

"Dean..." I start but he cuts me off by holding a hand up to stop me.

"No. Don't. You could have died, Emily. Do you get that?" He says harshly. His voice is low but it still feels like he is yelling at me. And I deserve it. I was so stupid.

I nod, looking down at my fidgeting hands. I feel too embarrassed to look him in the eye.

"You promised me after last time." he says, his tone angry. He huffs and continues. "Fuck, I thought you stopped doing that shit." I look up as he runs his hand roughly through his hair in frustration.

"I did stop. I know I promised, this was just a slip up. God, I learned my lesson." I reply, motioning around the hospital room, without any better explanation. I won't tell him why I broke the promise, though. He doesn't need to hear about that. Especially not now. I can't even think about that - him - now.

I was being honest in that this wouldn't happen again. I don't ever want to feel this way again. No high is worth this.

I can stop. I know I can. I'm not addicted to the pills, I never was. It was strictly a way to forget. A stupid, stupid, way to black out all my issues for awhile.

"What if I wasn't there?" He asks as he stares intently into my eyes. He looks almost pained as he says it. I have never seen him so upset. I don't think he is angry at me anymore, at least not as much, but the sadness taking over is somehow worse than him yelling. 

I shutter at the thought he suggested and try to push it out of my head.

"How did you know I was there?" I ask quietly, ignoring his question.

"Jade called. She was worried and didn't want to bring you home to your parents high." He makes a disgusted face at his last word and I wince. "I didn't call them so don't worry. They don't know what happened. I paid the paparazzi guy off out front."

I nod and reach for his hand. He takes it lightly, careful not to touch the wires, his warm skin contrasting nicely on my icy fingers. "Thank you, seriously, Dean. You are more than I deserve." I smile gratefully at him, speaking honestly. I really don't deserve him at all.

He opens his mouth to reply but his phone chimes before he can say a word. He lets go of my hand as he reaches for it on the table. I tuck my hand back beside me on the bed frame as I watch him frown down at the phone.

"Who is it?" I ask curiously, unable to stop myself.

He looks up to me, his frown replaced with an awkward look I rarely see on him, but I know what it means. He doesn't want to tell me.

Ava.

Of course.

"Never mind." I give him a small smile and he nods thankfully. He types a quick reply and then turns the phone on silent, placing it back on the table out of my sight.

He looks back to me and we stare at each other silently, both of our eyes full of the unspoken words between us. So much left unsaid. There is so much I need to say to him right now, but I don't know how to start.

I open my mouth, but the door opens, intruding on our moment and forcing us to break our eye contact as we both turn to see who it is.

Author's Note:

Wow, I have been so active this weekend in writing and posting! I have all these storylines in my head and I've been putting off studying to write... so I hope you enjoy!

I split this chapter into 2 parts so it wasn't too long. Grab your tissues for the next one.... ;)

Thanks for reading!! Vote, comment, and share pleaseeeeee!