Strings (1 of 2)

Chapter 65 - Please

"And in the end, the only love we truly know is the love we loved." - Phi

[Nathan's POV]

I follow as she moves to the kitchen, probably to get away from my intense stare. I can't help but watch her and force myself to see what I have done.

The walking seems to make her anger return... as it should - as I deserve.

"You don't mean any of that. If you cared for me, you wouldn't have done this knowing how much it would hurt me. You wanted to fuck someone and steal my parents' money. That had nothing to do with liking me. You lied all summer and you are lying now..."

Emily's beautiful eyes stare at me, horrified. Once full of life and attitude, the eyes that drew me to her in the first place are now replaced with only shock and sadness.

Sadness that I caused.

I don't know what to say to her right now to make this better. I don't deserve to feel better about this, but she does. She did nothing to deserve this. But still, I let it go on for over three months without telling her. Ending things would have been easier... but I couldn't let her go. I needed her. I still need her.

Without thinking, I reach for her hand that rests on the counter between us and she jumps back against the fridge. Her left wrist hits the fridge door harshly and I see her wince in pain, but she tries to hide it beneath the resentment towards me.

"Don't you fucking dare." She sounds angry but her eyes are filled with tears and fear.

Does she think I could hurt her?

...I guess I already did in a different way.

"I'm sorry..." I bow my head, trying to think of a way to make her forgive me.

God, why did I do this? It made sense at the beginning, I was so angry then. But now I am just as disgusted as she is.

"You should be" she says, folding her arms in front of her like she is either trying to comfort herself or protect herself, maybe both.

"I would do anything to go back now, Emily, anything!" I plead with her.

"But you can't, can you?" she turns her eyes back to me, no longer full of fear, but now a terrible mix of angry and sad.

That sight triggers me to just let it out - the feelings I hid deep down from her and even myself over these past three months. The ones I couldn't think about so that I could convince myself what I was doing to her was okay still. But it fucking wasn't.

"I was so stupid. SO stupid. I never wanted to hurt you. I was just so angry, so empty, after my mom died that way that I fixated on bringing some dumb form of justice or revenge or whatever you want to call it against your family. I didn't know how I would feel about you before we met. I didn't think I would care for you like I do!" I make my way to the edge of the counter to cross onto her side of the battlefield but she notices and takes a step back, her eyes glare at me a warning I wish I could ignore. I sigh and move back to where I was standing, further away from her. "You are the one who said no strings..."

Her eyebrows shoot up. "OH so this is my fault now?" she screams at me.

I run my hand throw my hair and take a deep breath, this is not how I wanted this to go.

"No, my point is, I thought that would help make it easier, but it didn't stop me from liking you. So I stopped my plan and focused on us."

She scowls at me. "I can't trust anything you say now so don't bother. You don't care about me now. You just want me to keep being your little puppet so you can keep using me for your sick game."

"I haven't been using you in weeks. I swear it." I point at the pictures, trying to get her to understand.

"Everything between us was real. I fucking promise you, Emily!" I beg her to believe me.

"Everything was a lie." She shakes her head at me.

Why can't she understand?!

"No!" I yell and slam my palms down against the counter in frustration. The bang makes her jump and take another step away from me. I sit down on the stool and put my head in my hands.

Minutes of silence pass. Neither of us move or speak. The only sound is of our heavy breathing.

"I did nothing to you." I hear her almost whisper into the stiff air between us. The sound of her voice breaking while holding back tears almost kills me.

"It was never about you." I look up, defeated. I wish she would understand.

She stares at me for a moment quietly as a single tear falls down her cheek.

"And yet, I'm the one who got destroyed." She states, leaving me speechless. She wipes her cheek with the back of her palm roughly.

How does she not see that I am the one who got destroyed, not her? She ruined all my plans the moment I saw her in that alley. She made me soft. She made me care. The misguided hatred I felt for her was dissipated bit by bit every time she smiled at me and every time I heard the beautiful sound of her laugh. I just didn't realize it until it was too late.

I can see it on her face. Actually I could see it on her face the second she walked in the apartment. She's done. With me, with us, with everything. She said everything she wanted to say and there is nothing I can say to win her back. My head knows that. My heart is a different story...

She starts walking toward the door, passing the key I gave her still on the counter, and panic rises in my throat to the point I can't breathe.

"Don't go." I beg her, following her footsteps.

She says nothing and continues walking and I grow more frantic. I run my hands through my hair, panting. I can't lose her. Not when I just realized how much I care about her.

"Please don't leave me, Emily." I call after her again.

She's almost at the door now. I want to grab her and pull her to me and hold her, but I can't after her warning. I can't have the one thing that could make this better - her touch.

Her hand grabs the door handle and pulls it open. I'm out of options but I'm still desperate to keep her.

I reach out and tug her arm to make her come back to my arms. She tenses under my touch and doesn't give in to my pulling.

"Please... let me go." She croaks at me, her voice nothing like her normal one through the tears I can see streaming down her face. I reluctantly let go of her shaking arm and she exhales a deep breath.

"Emily, please, I'm sorry..." I beg and she moves her hand to hold the door open as she walks through.

What can I do or say to stop this inevitability?

"I love you! I want to work through this. I need you in my life..." I desperately shout at her back, praying this truth makes a difference.

She pauses for a second, long enough to give me just a small thread of hope. Her head turns slightly to the side and I almost think she is going to turn around.

"Please." I beg a final time.

It seems to be the wrong thing to say, because she looks forward again and takes a step.

And just like that, my life walks out the door.

[END OF STRINGS]

Author's note:

That's the end of this book guys!!

I decided to end it with Nathan's POV because I wanted to capture her walking out the door from his eyes. Hopefully everyone understands why she left... I don't think any of us would stay after being lied to so badly for months by the person you are sleeping with (and love).

I hope everyone enjoyed this book! I loved writing it!! Thank you for reading!!

I will go back and edit Strings from the beginning at some point, but firsttt....

Keep scrolling to the next chapter for a special announcement!!!!! Don't miss this!