Cigarettes & Kisses | P.JM 🔞 ✔️

1 | fights and flashbacks

Cover by @ggukspiire

Y/N'S POV

"Yah, are you not going to quit inhaling that shit? For real?" I grabbed the scrunched up paper from my table and rolled it into a ball, aiming it at the blonde boy perched right opposite my window, his legs dangling off the balustrade as he threw his head back letting out a long stream of silvery grey fumes into the air.

"And you? When are you going to stop butting into my business? Let me fvcking have one smoke in peace, woman!" The boy rolled his eyes audaciously and inhaled deeply before spewing out the smoke practically in my face. I made a disgusted face and shut the window adjacent to my study table, suppressing the urge to retch.

Park Jimin. My childhood mate, the boy with whom I'd grown up, shared all my toys, played house, taken baths, proposed to and even kissed and the boy who was now the biggest pain in my ass.

Although it had hurt me a lot when we'd grown apart, I believed it wasn't my fault that we'd grown to rub each other off in all the wrong ways.

Jimin had fallen into bad company when we were both finishing middle school and despite constant warnings from his parents, teachers and me, he refused to mend his ways. Perhaps it was a phase. Perhaps he was just being a reckless, troublesome teenager like all others his age but by the time he realised that his activities could get him in trouble and left that group, it was too late.

He'd already picked up quite a few nasty, undesirable habits from his time with the gang of school bullies and some of them—like smoking and swearing—were so addictive that he still couldn't get rid of them.

During that time, he'd pushed me away. He'd stopped talking to me and ghosted me for the entirety of high school. Not just me he'd pushed everyone that possibly cared for him away from him and as much as I longed to have him back, I wasn't pathetic enough to crawl back to him despite the harshness with which he'd treated me then.

I was scared of talking to him, really. And that was probably why I'd kept away from him all these years, mostly ignoring him, pretending like he didn't exist...just like he did. That's not what 'partners for life' did, right? But he just seemed to slip farther and farther away from my grasp every time I bumped into him and I was too hesitant to reach out first.

How could I, when he was always hanging out with people I couldn't stand even looking at? When he was always with those pretty, tattooed, biker chicks with coloured hair and face piercings?

But now, as we continued to grow up, year after year, until we were practically on the verge of entering into real life with college ending and our graduation nearing, I was starting to dislike his habits more and more—especially the way he was hell bent on burning away his lungs with the cancerous fumes.

It bothered me that I was going to lose my last chance to see Park Jimin, the golden boy and his beautiful reality was going to fizzle out just like the flame on his cigarette.

So, swallowing the retort that was sitting on my lips, I tried again, opening the window once I was sure that I wasn't in the danger of falling prey to passive smoking anymore.

"All I want is for you to quit smoking. Is it really that hard?" I shouted to get my voice across. "Don't you realise that you're practically ruining your lungs by inhaling that?"

"Why are you worried about what I do, Y/N?" Jimin flashed me a wry smile, his fingers hovering above his lips, still holding the cigarette that emitted those hazy, life-changing fumes but never putting it between his lips. "Last time I checked, you haven't bothered for the last—"

He tilted his head, counting off his fingers before looking at me again. Maybe it was just my imagination, but his unamused, slightly annoyed gaze looked a bit softer and his eyes glistened as they held mine. "For the last six years." He whispered.

I bit my lip. If that's where he wanted to go, then fine.

"I've always been here. It's you who chose to drift apart and not bother anymore!" I glared at him, barely keeping my frustration clamped. "Don't forget that I tried my best to reach out. Always!" My voice shook.

"I always reached out first until I was too tired of it. I tried to hold on even when you treated me like shit. But maybe you're too high to remember, you delusional jerk!"

And with that, I slammed the window shut, the windowpane shuddering from the forceful action. Angrily, reaching out for a plain sheet of paper in my folder, I laid it flat on the table and scribbled a quick IDGAF ABOUT YOU across it in bold red letters but then sighed, a single tear escaping my eye and dripping onto the fluttering sheet.

I could never not give a fuck about Park Jimin.

JIMIN'S POV

She was furious.

She was so furious that she was shaking with anger.

"She's still so goddamn addictive." I mumbled, staring at the closed window of Y/N's house and then at the cigarette positioned in between my index finger and middle finger. And then finally, I crushed the cigarette against the wooden railing, watching expressionlessly as the breeze whipped it away like fragments of burnt ash.

"Yah, Jimin-ah, eomma asked me to share my lunch with you today. Want to eat?" Y/N screamed, running towards me with a huge toothy grin plastered on her little animated face, her silky black hair tied in a bouncy ponytail and her favourite white frock dotted with pink and black polka dots dancing in the wind.

I watched her hurtle towards me, my hands already leaving the swing that I was seated on as I immediately stood up, ready to curb her fall. Even though we were both the same age, Y/N was still a lot smaller than me and sometimes when she ran she couldn't stop on her own, often ending up falling face first onto the ground.

But I didn't want her to fall today.

Ms. Lee had dressed her up so pretty, almost like an angel and I didn't want her ruining her pretty dress and consequently her mood. It was a pain in the arse when she cried and I often had to cough up all of my candies for her to calm down.

"Yah, slow down. You're going to fall again." I warned, walking towards her swiftly but as usual the stubborn girl paid no heed, her eyes widening as she collided with another boy running across the ground and screamed, fear evident across her face as the lunchbox slipped from her tiny grasp, flying towards the soiled grass.

Panicking, I lunged.

And the next thing I knew, we were both rolling across the ground, grass and mud and little pebbles stuck to my clothes. Thankfully, Y/N was cradled safely in my arms even though the kimchi rice had all spilled out from the lunchbox. But that didn't bother me.

Nothing bothered me. Not the irritating sound of pebbles crunching underneath our bodies, not the sticky grass and neither the damp, smelly soil. Because Y/N and I had both lost our first kisses to each other and I wanted to marry her then and there.

I smiled to myself. "I guess it's time you take responsibility for that kiss, Lee Y/N."