Episode 19

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_" Noursine .. I'm worried about you."

Eliyas said this to me.. his face looking genuinely concerned.

If he said these same words only 2 months earlier i would have laughed until my teeth fell then said:

_"what a joke!.. Eliyas Filladi is actually worried about something besides his work?!"

But things became somehow different within a short amount of time, maybe because when living together a part of me started to treat Eliyas humanly, or maybe because our cohabitation was a period for me to see that man in a different light, a more objective one.

Whatever was the reason that i had it made me smile to him attempting to reassure him then said:

_" i'm fine, you can say my mother has died in my heart for real this time round..so It's natural to mourn her death. One day, A soon day, i'll move on again.. I always did."

He nodded in agreement.. And didn't say anything else.

He somehow refused to go back sleep on the sofa in the living room that night, by somehow i mean that he just kept sitting on the bed in front of my eyes not moving and not talking as well. He just sat there.. Putting his forearms on his thighs and spacing out for a long time.

I didn't say anything.. While he stared aimlessly at the closet i stared aimfuly at him, it's perhaps one of the things for which i will always fail to find an explanation: this comfort i feel when i look at him.

Just seeing him made me feel so relaxed, needless of his words or his touches.. His mere presence was enough.

When Eliyas and I had our first marriage meeting, I felt this comfort too.. I'm not a spiritual person or something, but when I went to meet this rich family's son at some restaurant to reject him or at least attempt my chance in doing that I ended up accepting him instead!

I remember at that time my grandmother swore that she will never forgive me if I refused the "only" demand she ever made which is to marry Eliyas, although that lady led a life "full" of demands to me I still decided not to be petty about this particular dramatic exacerbation and I chose to focus on one thing: that she was serious about not forgiving me.

I had a gratitude debt to her, no matter how bad she can be as a person I can never deny the fact that she was the kindest towards me in her way, when the whole world abandoned me she took me in, she kept me safe and raised me up to become a strong woman, so I couldn't be ungrateful .. My conscience didn't allow that.

Being stuck in this situation I figured out that I had only one left option, that is to convince Eliyas to stop the marriage from his end.

So I mastered my courage, I asked for his phone number then I called him, being the youthful bold girl that I was I directly jumped to the main point and asked to meet with him at a certain restaurant.

Coincidentally, being a startup journalist at the time with an extremely labile working hours, my manager informed me that I had to be at X address immediately for a huge scoop only half an hour before my meeting with Eliyas at the restaurant. Naturally, my manager forgot to inform me about the nature of this scoop in his urgency.. Which was something very familiar of him, usually I had to contact him several times on my way to locations to discuss the procedures i'll take and the questions i'll ask.

I was about to call Eliyas to cancel our meeting when I noticed that this X address actually belonged to the restaurant where Eliyas and I were supposed to meet!

There was nothing special about that certain restaurant that I had just picked up on a whim, I wondered what kind of news that place could possibly offer, so I contacted my manager again and I enquired, to my shock his answer was:

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