_"you're mine Noursine.. You're only mine" Eliyas whispered possissevely while cupping my face with his palms after he kissed me.
Such a violent kiss .. And such words, I only had them once before.
It was when Eliyas kissed me after i met with my long college boyfriend behind his back, Aziz Chelou,
When i passed my baccalaureate exams(college entrance exams), i miraculously got high marks so mr Belguassem suggested that i should go study in D city at an elite journalism college, the kind whose students have a prosperous future in the Media field.
When i red about that school i was so excited for it .. It was actually the first time in a really long while that i felt like i really wanted something.
So i agreed, and i was soon administered there, when college started ..it was then when i met Aziz chellou, the man who will be my boyfriend for the next three years to come.
Being new in D city having no friends and no one to communicate with, i signed for so many clubs in college, even the music club although i had not a single artistic talent.
I met Aziz in one of those clubs i randomly signed for .. The discussion club, he was a senior and the monitor of freshmen which included me of course. We just hit it on from the first meeting like if we were a pair of gloves, like we were destined to meet. the first thing that attracted me about him was his accent, He came from the far west of the country so he spoke with a rather catchy rough manner and a joking way, he made me laugh without even trying it. He weirdly was attracted to my accent as well since i come right from the opposite place on the map, from the far east if the country. He said that i speak rather slow and that i articulate with a melody as if i'm constantly singing. So we geekly and totally fell in love with one another's words and voices.
Aziz was my first true love, the kind you think will last forever and you'll have it once in a life time, he wasn't particularly handsome, we weirdly looked like a set of twins because we both had sun kissed skin, soft features, were close in height and we laughed with each other 100% of the time, he was simply my soulmate for a long time .. Until he wasn't anymore.
He graduated one year earlier being my senior, and he was soon embarked in the world of a worker.
We started being distant, busy, and separated with both the silly and most complicated of reasons, after a while it was natural to have more fights, more misunderstandings.. No matter how we worked on them they ended up getting bigger with time, until we finally agreed on one thing: that it was impossible for us any longer, and the best decision was to break up.
Like i said, Aziz and were a couple who everyone believed will end up being married, i was so happy with him that i introduced him to all my world.. Eliyas included, he met with him in some occasions.
When i was married to Eliyas, i met with Aziz while i was working on a certain project in coordination with the magazine for which he worked.
He was just one among a group of people and i was one among the group of people from my news campany yet when two people who know each other meet it seems like the room is empty.
We both didn't even attempt to talk with one another since we broke up on a very bad terms, I was no longer in love with that man.. that i'm so sure about, but seeing him made me sad.. The kind of sadness you have when you part ways with your best friend and both of you having burdened yet stubborn conscience.
I ended up being very depressed at that period since i had to meet with him almost daily for a week or so, and this depression of mine reflected in one behavior with Eliyas: abstinence.
So yes, There was no way he wouldn't notice i wasn't my usual self. Not to mention that this husband of mine had exceptional divination powers.. He caught me red handed while i was walking out of a restaurant with the group of people after we had a lunch, Among 15 person.. He naturally only noticed Aziz.
So it was like this, we just decided to go have a lunch at some restaurant after being exhausted for a whole morning, and when we finished and were going out i immediately spotted an expensive black car that was parked right accross the street, that car looked awfully familiar so i checkef the plate, since i had a sharp memory with numbers, i figured out it belonged to Eliyas's personal collection of cars, i was so surprised assuming that his personal chauffeur came to pick me up, usually the one who drove me used an average looking car not to raise suspicions.
So i apologized to the group of people i was standing with and i went to talk to the chauffeur to see whether he was sent by Eliyas to take me home and bring some files to the company or there was another matter.
But when i was close enough to the car, the back door was suddenly opened from the inside and Eliyas walked out of the car to my shock to stand in front of me!
_"what are you doing here?" I asked right away.
He casted me a cold gaze.. Then ordered:
_"go back and bring him here"
I felt like the sky fell on the ground, totally caught guilty with a proof.
I looked at him with a pale face and i tried to act like a dumb:
_" who do you mean?"
_" if you make me say his name.. I swear nothing good will happen to the both of you"
There was no space for discussion.. I had to execute his order if my life was of importance to me.
When i headed back to the confused group of people who were staring at me, i adressed Aziz saying:
_" can you come with me for a bit?"
I felt so embarrassed that my blood almost dug holes in my cheeks and bursted out of them.
I haven't spoken with Aziz for years.. How did i end up having such an embarrassing situation with him! And with Eliyas!
The poor him followed me confused, It was extremely improper and unfair to him that i apologized beforehand:
_" i'm so sorry Aziz, i swear that i had no intention of ever contacting you or putting you in any sort of hard position, i was obliged to call you now"
_" what's going on?" Aziz asked suspecting me.
I just continued my way back to Eliyas not saying a word, once the two of us stood in front of that terrifying man, Eliyas suddenly held my hand and made me stand beside him and coldly said:
_"let me introduce my self, i'm this woman's husband"
I looked at him and choked in my saliva right away.
While i was coughing he continued saying:
_" i'm already aware of your previous relationship with her, i absolutely refuse to tolerate your current entanglement, therefore either you walk out of her life on your own free will, or i will make sure that happens in my way."
Aziz looked at the both of us, finally he said decidedly:
_"i apologize for the inconvenience, i was on the wrong this time, i will leave the project"
He casted me one last look.. And then he went away.
I had lots of thoughts on my way back to the villa, the silence was akin that of a grave inside the car so my mind naturally was very idle as to think of all sorts of things: like Aziz's sad disappointed face when he left, that i was wrong for meeting my ex while being married and not speaking about it, Eliyas's angry face in contrast, Eliyas's hand holding mine, that Eliyas is very handsome.. In the end 95% of my ideas ended up having one particular subject in common: my husband.
When we arrived at the villa the centre of my thoughts just walked out of the car and headed inside with angry fast steps leaving me behind, it was very rare of him to be in such a bad mood, so naturally when he met Ines, my sister-in-law, on his way to our room and he ignored her, she didn't need to be very smart to notice his anger, thereby when i walked the same path just seconds after him she blocked my way and asked curiously:
_" did you both have a fight?"
_" No, i had discovered a traitor in his company while leading a press investigation, and i told him, he's very displeased about it" i lied with a straightface.
If my grandmother taught me one thing in life, then it was that i must absolutely keep my married life's problems to my self. i excused my self .. And then i went to our room.
I found Eliyas standing right in the middle of the vast space the moment i opened the door and i walked in, he looked very scary.
I closed the door slowly.. And then i stepped closer:
_" why did you hide your meeting with your ex from me?" He asked with no further waiting.
I mastered my courage, and then i replied:
_" i didn't do it intentionally, i just thought it wasn't important to talk about it, we only had to work on a project_"
_" you don't get to decide what is important for people to know and what is not" he interrupted ruthlessly.
He took a deep breath, and then he continued:
_" you didn't even mention that you are married to him, did you? why? were you planning to rekindle the past with him? Did i ruin your plans today?"
_" how dare you accuse me of such nonesence! I didn't mention anything about me being married just because your almighty refused to announce this marriage! What if he asked who my husband was!" I yelled totally losing my calm.
So he yelled back:
_" you know well the reasons that made me conceal our marriage so don't you dare blame it on me! What you did is wrong and disrespectful to me! You should have walked away the moment you saw him! Or at least you should have told me! You left me in the dark on purpose! You have been resisting me since you met him again .. Are you no longer satisfied with your husband now that you met your old love?"
We kept quarreling for a very long time, during which Eliyas forced many violent kisses on me and yell:
_" your mine.. Do you understand that? Do you respect that?"
That day he wasn't as the gentlemanly him at all, he treated me as if i was a belonging of his that should obey him, after that big fight we remained on bad terms for days, i refused to speak to him.. And he refused to speak back to me, he even slept on the sofa, I don't even recall how we mended things afterwards, but i just remember that this incident gave me a really bad impression of him: that he was nonsensically possessive.
But when the same scenario repeated itself again with a new man that i barely knew i started to wonder if there was another explanation.
Perhaps it's just over expressed jealousy.
Eliyas kissed me again.. More gently though, when he finally stopped kissing me and he started to speak, i finally figured out that it was never a jealousy.. Not in the past.. And not then.
While holding my face and panting, Eliyas looked at me with nothing but pure scare on his face and he repeated:
_" you're mine.. Do you understand Noursine.. You only belong to me"
I didn't say a thing, because i was just trying to give him time to explain him self.. i hell have no idea how Eliyas interpreted my continuous silence ever since Nadir left though, all i know is that this misleading interpretation of his made him so nervous that he bluntly admitted:
_" My family has nothing to do with us.. Not in the past and not now.. You only married me and not them.. You're mine and i'm yours.. They are just extras that have no relation to us."
_" why are you saying this?" I asked extremely suspicious .. And i pushed his hands away from my face.
I remembered Nadir's words.. That my father had an accident right after he visited Belguassem Filladi.
Linking that to Eliyas's strange, possessive and irrational behavior i already started to have goosebumps all over me when i asked:
_" Did you perhaps know the reason for Nadir's visit?"
_"Yes" he replied.
I hate Eliyas's honesty.. I swear i do, because sometimes it's better to say lies..
_" How?" I asked.. Taking steps away from Eliyas.
_"Because he already met me and confronted me about those suspicions"
When Nadir spoke to me earlier i didn't take his words seriously because he was a mere stranger, but seeing Eliyas behaving this way.. Imagining the possibility that my father had indeed died because of that family.. Imagining that i lost my most two precious people because of that family: my son, and my father, I started to feel like i wanted to throw up when i asked:
_" what does this mean? is it correct Eliyas? Did your father have to do anything with my father's death?"
He looked at me with a whole new level of fear. He didn't answer..
I really had no left strength.
What are these people!
_" answer me Eliyas Filladi!" I yelled.
He took a deep breath.. And hardly whispered:
_" Yes "

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