Don't leave me (Jungkook)

11. Is this the Truth?

Y/n: what if I care now? What will you do?

Jungkook: Nothing, its just a good thing. But we will probably lose more time together

Y/n: is that so bad? Because you are already not here!

Jungkook: now you are just moving the topic

Y/n: I dont see you in class, the hallway, not even when we have luch

Y/n: People keep saying things, I don't need you all the time. But don't I have the right to ask what you are doing?

Jungkook: if you have something to say Y/n, then ask!

Y/n: what are you doing!?

Jungkook: I am working because I want to earn my own money, school and family talks about it in a way that sounds worng

Y/n: But you told me you had this big passion for music?

Jungkook: Yes I do, but that doesn't mean I am working on music now

Y/n: (Why do you always give me bad replies) why tell me this now?

Jungkook: What do you mean? Have you ever thought about the fact that we might split up?

To hear him ask me that question,  made a deep pain in my heart. He didn’t say directly that he would leave me, but why ask that kind of question? Why does the question affect me so much, when it shouldn't?

I never thought of what would happen if he left me, maybe I would return to the dark side and the cold person I used to be. I would never be able to trust anyone and I would never get close to anyone like I got close to Jungkook.

«i would be broken and extremely hurt» is what i say with a smile and walk away. He comes running behind me, and hugs be from the back. I can feel his arms around my waist, holding me tight. This hug explains a lot for me.

But I didn’t understand everything right there and then, but now that I look back at it everything makes sense. He rests his head on my shoulder and moves even closer to me  as he still hugs me. His breath is anxious and stressed. I have never seen him like this before now.

The way he talked was new. It was like he did the biggest mistake in his life and a million of people would get harmed about that. "I said I would try to not leave you" he says in a heavy way. "Do you think I will make it? Do you think we will be together forever" he continues.

He tried to give me hits and tell me about my future, but I am to obsessed with him to think negative. "I think you would never hurt me, because if you leave me I will get hurt" I say at the same time I move his arm away. But his arms are stuck with my waist, he is just to strong. 

He wouldn't let go of the hug, he held me like he was going to lose me if he lets go. "Jungkook, you have work soon. I have my third class in some minuets" I say with a given up voice. He lets go of the hug, but maybe he let ME go that day.

After this one day, this one day where he said he worked. Nothing was ever the same after that, not in my life. He was busy with his job and I wanted to do well in school for Jungkook and My mum. Those two people I wanted to live with.

It was probably only my wish and not his. I was blinded by his caring and protection even thought I could feel it all coming from the start. It was predicted but he kept on going like nothing happend.

It was probably my wish and not everyone's. I became blind after I started opening up. I knew i was vulnerable, they also knew. But they kept on pressing on the wound and made it more painful. I never thought that the people I held close would be the people who make me the saddest.