Don't leave me (Jungkook)

13. Looking for You

But for him I try my best in everything. Life is better when I give my best, but its lonely and sad because I don't have Jungkook direct by my side.

«I apologize for being quite late, but I had to get some papers that is the main reason for us to have this conversation» Its not the same voice from earlier. «By the way I am the school leader, that keeps the education development in order» she adds onto her earlier answer.

I look at the paper and I notice that different subjects and scores are written down. "Is this very important? Because I have to know what team I will get in the exam" I say that because I don't know what to say. "You will get a chance to pick the topic  right after we are done here. Its not negative"

Hearing her say that makes my stress fly away and I was fully awake. "What am I doing here then?" I say as I wish for a better answer this time. "You have had the best development in this semester in 10th garde. That's why we will look over it together and how do you feel your evolution developed?" Does she say as my biggest question got its answer.

The lady never said her name, but she went properly through the scores I got except the exam. I was shocked myself hearing she said I was among the highest scores in school. I wasn't in 1st place, but this was a huge step. Even in math I got a four out of six. That was the biggest shock.

Math and me have never been friends, but thats probably because I never tried. In history I usually fail, but I got a strong four on my way to a five.

Think its been five long years and I can still remember some of the gardes I got in 10th garde and thats only because I wanted to remember Jungkook. The years after 10th I only talked about him to everyone I knew. Nobody believed in me and some even got tired so that cut our friendship. It wasn't drama, just the pain that made me vulnerable.

He knows he is the reason I am like this today. He probably doesn't remember me like i remember him. He is tattooed inside my head and heart. Nobody managed to change me, he made the make the impossible possible. I have both pull factors and push factors when it comes to the years from 8th garde to 10th garde. The only pull factor is Jeon Jungkook.

10th garde he came, but he was gone and lost in his work at a young age. He made me worry and care about him more than anyone. Then i thought was this apart of his plan? Did he just seek attention from me?

This day I got to know my development was the best. I just wanted to run around the whole town even if it was raining hard just to tell Jungkook everything that was inside my heart. But I called again and again and over a thousand

At least 60 missed calls just to Jungwoo, he didn't pick up his phone, not even once. I wanted for hours and called again, he didn't even send a voice mail or message. Is he ignoring me? Did I do something wrong? Did he give up on me?

The overthinking never stopped, i forgot everything about school. He took over my mind. I didn't have shoes on, only summer socks. I ran from the place and didn't have to inform anyone because no one was here. I couldn't let the only person i had leave me too, everything happend way to fast.

I run from east to west of the town. It was raining hard and even thunderstorms were here. I somehow find his location. I became soaking wet, my nose was leacking and my whole body was shaking. I stand Infront of a gigantic white building, that looks familiar. The clothing was more wet than the ground. Had no breath left, frozen like an ice cube and my whole body lost it strength.

I have no strength left, i strech my right arm out to grab the door handle. As i feel the hard cold metal door handle, my body collapses.