An Inconvenient Attachment

Kabanata 14

"Are you really going, Xam?" tanong ni Heloise.

Sinulyapan ko siyang nakahilig sa hamba ng pintuan ko sa kwarto at nakahalukipkip.

"This is what my father wants Heloise," tipid kong sagot habang nag iimpake.

"What about you? Is this what you want?"

After the incident happened between me and Samantha, my father decided to send me abroad and continue my studies there. I accidentally heard it when I went there the next morning to make up with her.

"Dad please! Baka kung ano'ng magawa niya sa baby ko! Nakita niyo naman 'di ba? She tried to kill my child! Just send her away! Maaatim niyo bang may mangyaring masama sa apo niyo?!" Samantha pleaded.

Matagal bago sumagot si Papà.

"Okay, don't worry hija. I'll talk to her about it."

True enough, the next morning he called me and we talked. Kahit inaasahan ko na ay masakit pa ring marinig 'yon mula sa kanya.

"Hindi ko na hihintayin pang may mangyaring masama sa apo ko, Xiomara. So this is the best way to avoid the conflict between you two."

Hindi na ako nagsalita. Tinanggap ko na lang ang kapalaran ko. Sino ba naman ako para magreklamo? Anak lang ako sa labas. Kahit pa gusto kong ipagtanggol ang sarili ko at sabihing hindi ko magagawa ang ibinibintang ni Sam sa akin ay papaniwalaan ba niya ako? Hindi. Dahil anak lang ako sa labas.

Kahit gusto kong umalma at magreklamo sa desisyon niyang ito ay bibigyan niya ba ako ng pagkakataon? Hindi. Dahil. Anak. Lang. Ako. Sa. Labas.

"This is for the best, Xiomara. For this family to be at peace, one must sacrifice."

At ako 'yon. Wala nang iba.

"Xiomara..." Heloise called.

Tinignan ko siya bago ini.zipper ang luggage. Bumuntong hininga ako at ibinaba ito.

"Yes. This is what I want," sagot ko at tinitigan ang maleta.

Naramdaman kong lumapit siya sa akin at hinaplos ang likod ko bago ako marahang niyakap. Nangilid agad ang luha ko at hindi ko na napigilang humikbi.

"I'm sorry, Xam. This is all I can do for you. To be your shoulder to cry on."

Hinaplos ko ang balikat niya at kumalas. Pinunasan ko ang luha ko at tipid na ngumiti sa kanya.

"Thank you, Loi. I'll never forget you."

"Hey!" Tinampal niya ang balikat ko. "Don't say that it's like you're not coming back anymore. Magtatampo ako sa'yo!"

I chuckled. "Who knows?"

"Xiomara!" nagbabantang tinig niya.

"Just inform our friends. Bahala ka na kung ano'ng sasabihin mo. Tell them I'm gonna miss them."

Malungkot niya akong tinignan.

"You're still coming back right?" mahinang tanong niya.

Honestly, I don't know. My family wants me gone. And I don't know if it will take forever. But if that's what they really want then I'll give it to them.

Bumuntong hininga ako at hinaplos ang buhok niya. Surely I'm gonna miss this girl.

"Let the heaven decide, Loi. Thank you so much for everything. Until we meet again."

I left the country without informing my mother and only a few friends knew about this. I've also lost contact to everybody, except of course for my father who planned everything. With his power, it didn't surprise me anymore how I got recommended to Stanford University as an international transfer student. He even bought me a condominium unit aroud the university belt.