Guardian Angel

Chapter 4

The first few days at home with Everleigh were magical but also really hard at the same time. My mom was with me to help me but still. She cried a lot and for a long time I believed it was my fault. It took me a while to learn that a crying new born is something all moms have to deal with but most of them have a loving partner who supports them. The nights were the hardest but somehow I got through all of it.

Veronica walks around the apartment with her crying daughter in her arms. It's 2 in the morning.

"Shhh my sweet little baby. Mommy is here" she whispers and softly kisses the top of her head. "Why are you crying my love. I changed your diaper, I fed you. Maybe you're tired honey but why don't you go to sleep then? Or does your tummy hurt?"

Veronica knows her daughter won't answer but she read that it is important to talk to your baby as much as possible.

"Is mommy maybe a little too nervous? Why don't we sit down? Let's try that"

Veronica sits down on her couch and places her feet on the coffee table. She looks down to Everleigh and slowly rocks her in her arms. She hums a lullaby and suddenly Everleigh stops crying. A big smile grows on Veronica's face. Partly because she loves looking at her daughter and partly because she is happy and relieved her little girl finally stopped crying.

"See that's better huh? I'm sorry Ev, I'm still new to this. You have to be patient with me" Veronica giggles. She places her left hand on her daughter's stomach and she immediately grab her finger. She holds on tight and looks up to her mom.

"I love you so much my little angel and I'm sorry your life will be a little bit different than from your friends' I'm sure you will have. You don't have a daddy. Well you do but he's stupid and left us. We don't need him though. We can be happy without him, we don't need men. Men only cause pain and disappointment. The only good thing your daddy ever accomplished was you and he's not even here to see how perfect you are. In kindergarten or school kids will ask you why you don't have a dad and I'm sorry for that" Veronica says. The last sentence brought tears to her eyes. "But I'm sure you can handle it. You're a Lodge sweetheart, we're strong but if you ever don't feel strong or don't want to be strong you can come to me. I'll hug you and kiss the pain away and I will dry your tears and make it all better I promise. I will never let anyone hurt you"

A single tear drops off Veronica's cheek and onto Everleigh's face but the little girl stays quiet. Veronica runs her thumb over her daughter's cheekbone and wipes the tear away.

"When you're older I'll tell you why he left us. Well I will never tell you the whole truth. He said he leaves because he doesn't want you but I'm sure he would have left me even if I wasn't pregnant so I know it wasn't you. It was me but I think it's better that way. He was abusive and stupid and just a piece of shit. I'm so happy he's not a part of your life. I'm happy that he will never lay his hands on you. We're better off without him"

Everleigh yawns and her eyes slowly close. Veronica's mouth leaves a little giggle. "Oh was everything mommy just said so boring? I can understand you though. So many words at once"

Veronica places a few soft kisses on Everleigh's head before she leans back and simply watches her daughter sleep in her arms. "Goodnight mi amor"

•••

Veronica walks around the apartment again with Everleigh asleep in her arms. She can't put her down. The second she lies her down in her crib or any where else she wakes up.
Veronica's hair is in a messy bun, she's wearing sweatpants and a top. It has some puke on it from his morning but she didn't even notice yet. She cleans up all the stuff that is still lying around from yesterday or the day before.
She looks down to her daughter for a second and smiles. She stops what she's doing and just looks at the little baby in her arms, her perfect little baby.
She walks to the big window in the living room and looks outside. "You know honey, we may not have the nicest apartment but we have this amazing view. I love standing here and admiring Manhattan. It's even more beautiful at night. From up here all the people look like little ants. Even tinier than you" she giggles and kisses Everleigh's head.

A knock on the door interrupts her little conversation with Everleigh. She sighs before she walks over to the door and opens it.

"Hi mija" Hermione smiles "oh you look awful honey"

"Thanks mom" Veronica rolls her eyes and walks into the living room. She sits down on her couch and starts to softly stroke her daughter's head.

"We all went through that sweetheart" Hermione laughs. "Do you want me to hold her so you can take a shower and maybe change into some clothes without puke on them?"

Veronica frowns. She looks down and just now notices the little stain of baby puke. "Oh"

"Just give her to me sweetheart"

"Nooo" Veronica mumbles. "I don't want to. I just want to hold her and look at her pretty face. I don't need a shower and where is the point in changing. She for sure will puke on me again later"

"Fine whatever you say Veronica. Is there anything I can do for you"

"I didn't eat yet, can you maybe, please, pretty please make me a sandwich"

"Of course, my love"

Just as Hermione gets up Everleigh's eyes slowly flutter open. She yawns and then just stares up to Veronica.

"Hello sweetheart" she giggles "did you have a good little nap, yeah? I think you need a new diaper now and I'm sure you're just as hungry as mommy"

Veronica gets up and walks to the nursery. She carefully lies Everleigh down on the changing table but the little girl doesn't seem to like that at all. She starts to cry and move around.

"I know honey, I know but I need to change your diaper" Veronica smiles. She caresses her daughter's cheek and kisses the top of her nose before she continues. She tries to hurry. Hearing her daughter cry breaks her heart. She tries to calm her down by singing and sometimes that works but right now it doesn't.
When she's done she lifts Everleigh into her arms and lightly bounces her up and down until she stops crying. Her little hands hold on to the top Veronica is wearing and her head leans against her chest. Everleigh is so tiny and Veronica kind of wishes she would never grow but she can't wait for the days she can have an actual conversation with her or run around or play hide and seek.

"Veronica honey, you're sandwiches is done"

"Thanks mom" Veronica says.
She walks back into the living room and falls onto the couch. "But I think before I can eat I have to feed Ev"

"Okay, you feed your daughter and I feed mine" Hermione grins. It makes Veronica giggle "sounds good"

She pulls her top up and begins to breastfeed the girl. Everleigh's eyes widen. Her little hand now lies on Veronica's chest.

"I love how babies kinda get milk drunk. It's so cute" Veronica giggles.

"Totally agree" Hermione smiles as she holds the sandwich in front of Veronica's mouth so she can take a bite.
Veronica does so but her eyes are not leaving Everleigh. She's just too deeply in love to focus on anything else ever again.