Random Skulduggery Pleasant Nonsense

How Skulduggery met Alexander Hamilton

Skulduggery looked down at Valkyrie, who was pleading on the floor.

"Pleeeeeease! Just one!" She clasped her hands together, letting out a happy shout when the skeleton sighed in resignation.

"Storytime!" He immediately jumped back from his partner's overreaction, dodging the flyaway fists, to land neatly on the couch. 

"So, it was a normal afternoon and the Dead Men had been hired to help in the war against Britain. George Washington was a sorcerer as well as good ol' Alex, so we were called to help. That's how I met Alexander Hamilton in person." His skull seemed to grin a bit wider as Valkyrie's frustration.

"Seriously, Skulduggery whatever-your-middle-name-is Pleasant, I swear to all things holy and unholy if you do not describe your encounter with Alexander Hamilton in miniscule detail, I will kill you on the spot." By this time her eyes had narrowed to slits, and a blinding light had threaded it's way through her fingers, circling around her hand and curling up her arm.

"Okay, okay, geez." Skulduggery jumped behind the couch, not anxious to get his bones vapourised. He sat there for a few minutes, in which Valkyrie held the ball of light threateningly, as he sat there, looking deep in thought.

"Skulduggery?" She asked after half an hour had gone by. "Helloooo?" She poked him, and a little shock went through his body, and he grunted.

"Oops, I forgot I still had that weird stuff around my hand." Valkyrie apologised, ready to hear the story.

"Ugh. Let me go back to sleep." Skulduggery muttered, tipping his hat over his eye sockets. 

"NO!!" Valkyrie screamed, stomping around the room.

"Fine, at least let me have breakfast."

"It's 2:45pm, Skulduggery."

"But I just woke up so it's breakfast."

"Will you finish the story afterwards?"

"Sure." She perked up at that.

"What do you want? Toast?" Skulduggery grunted.

"Cereal." Valkyrie was already confused at the fact that he wanted to eat breakfast, because as a skeleton he couldn't actually eat. But cereal required milk, so wouldn't that just slosh down into his ribcage? Ugh. 

Skulduggery got up, making his way to his kitchen to look for the cereal he kept for when Val stayed over. He found some Special K, grabbed the milk, put in the cereal, then the milk, then slid the spoon in, finishing by sliding the bowl under it all. He looked at the bowl of cereal in front of him, before deciding it needed something else.

--------

He walked out back into the lounge room, his bony fingers clutching a bowl, full of milk, cereal and milo. As soon as Valkyrie spotted it, she recoiled in disgust.

"YOU PUT MILO IN IT??!!?! THAT'S AN INSULT TO CORNFLAKES!" She shouted at him, not caring who heard her. skulduggery sat back down, calmly stirring all together. 

"It's actually Special K."

"I DON'T CARE, IT WON'T BE SPECIAL ANYMORE IF YOU PUT MILO IN IT!" By this time Valkyrie was almost crying, lying on her stomach on the floor and banging her head against the floorboards. 

"Okay, okay fine." With a sound resembling a huff he set the bowl down on a side table. The person lying on the floor looked up, hope shining in her dark eyes.

"abwege harga gyg?" A tear traced it's way down her cheek, before being wiped onto the back of her hand. Her expression indicated that some divine being had descended in her hour of need, that something brilliant, something wonderful had come to save her. She looked relieved, grateful but a much stronger emotion than what words can indicate.

All because Skulduggery, a skeleton didn't pour cereal (with freaking Milo on it) through his, well, skeleton. 

"What's that expression for?" Skulduggery poked her cheek, unsure if this was actually Valkyrie Cain he was looking at. Right after his bone made contact, she jumped up, shouting in glee.

"Yay!! Now I get to hear the story earlier!" She jumped on Skulduggery, pushing him onto the couch and sitting at his feet, looking very much like a preschooler. 

"Oh, about that, I have no idea what to tell you." He stared at her and she stared back.

"... what?" Her voice was dangerously low, and her arm started to glow again. Skulduggery just nodded simply, hopped up and sauntered away.

A scream of rage pierced the shocked silence, and light exploded from the house, bathing the surrounding funeral parlours in light, and flooding the street with unbelievable brightness. If Skulduggery had eyes, they would have been blinded. The slowly died down, and and a pile on inanimate bones clattered to the ground, bouncing down the stair that a skeleton previously stood on.

Valkyrie approached them, and picked up the skull, pressing her lips to the top of it, before smirking evilly. She threw it over her shoulder and walked down the hallway and out the door, memories of a war, and Alexander Hamilton flooding into her mind.