Last night was very hard for me. I didn't know what was happening to Jennie. I can't even send Ella a text to check up on Jennie since she might get worried. I can't also barge inside their apartment since it won't be any help in Jennie's part. I waited til at least 2 am until I received a text from Jennie saying she's fine and I should sleep cause I still have work. Honestly, I know that she's not fine after what I heard outside my doorstep yesterday but knowing Jennie, she probably just said that to not make me worry.
I barely got any sleep last night so when the morning comes my friends tried checking up on Jennie. Ella went out first to go to school and she said that Jennie's still sleeping because it's her day off today and tomorrow. Kang will go to work at night and I can't even stay cause I have the photoshoot scheduled for today. Jisoo and our friends did promise me that they'll look after Jennie as soon as Kang's off to work.
I went to the location which is out of town. It's hard to get signal from here since we're literally in the middle of a forest. The whole crew tries not to get distracted by anything that is not work related so I have to do the same. Mingyu knows that something's up with me and I noticed that he keeps pulling out too much weigh on my shoulders which I appreciate a lot. He's trying his best to do much more than me so I don't really have to sweat it out. I'm very thankful that he's working with me cause I can never ask for a better assistant photographer and a friend like Mingyu.
"Hey, uh.. we need to stay at the cabin for tonight so we can take the day off tomorrow" he said while we're sitting at a bench in the forest and it's already dark outside. I'm still worried sick about Jennie but I can't keep sulking through out our whole shoot. The staffs probably thought it'll be better to spend the night working and editing rather than going to work tomorrow. I can't really complain even though I badly want to go home already. We walk back to the cabin at night time and I tried calling but it is hard. I was able to receive Seulgi's text which says that Jennie's in my apartment once Kang left and she's good for now.
I tried not thinking about it while I spend the whole night working. When the break of dawn comes we started packing up so we can all go home. I didn't even wait for them to go home and I told them I'll head out first. Mingyu didn't even ask anything to keep me longer and he just helps me carry my bags to my car.
By 9 am I arrived at my apartment. I entered and saw Rosie, Irene, and Jisoo sitting on the couch with Jennie while the others are in the kitchen.
"But I'm tired of it!" She yelled out, she's talking on her phone while the others are just listening. Rosie saw me entered so she let the others know "just please do everything attorney.. I'm just so sick of it" so she's talking to her attorney. Probably about the divorce. Irene told the others to just head to the kitchen and to just leave Jennie and I in the living room. While she's talking on the phone I slowly approached her. Her eyes found mine and it immediately soften. I seriously just want to cry right now, it pains me to see her like this. I'm pretty sure he did hurt her again this time. I look down on her body trying to look for any marks but as usual he didn't leave any.
I sit on the couch while Jennie's still on her phone talking to her lawyer. She's really having a tough time dealing with all of these. At this point I don't even want to release a simple sigh since I'm worried that it will put more weigh on her shoulders.
After a couple more minutes she put her phone down and sigh out as she burry her face on the palm of her hands. I just look at her not knowing what I should do. Have you gotten the feeling where you know a person too well which is why you know how to comfort her, but at the same time you don't know if that will be enough to actually make her feel better. I scoot closer to her and put my hand on her back to pull her closer to me. I let her lean her head on my chest as I rub her arm slowly. Kang will be out til late at night so she's fine staying with me for the whole day
"He did hurt me again last night" she said in almost a whisper but our closeness made me hear it clearly. That's when I felt tears rushing to pour out of my eyes but I'm trying my best to not actually cry. I want to be mad so bad but I feel like my energy just got drained from the whole day and night working and worrying about everything. I am still mad but I can't afford to show it around Jennie since she's carrying so much burden already "I don't even know what to feel right now. I'm always going downhill" she said. I don't want to comfort her in a way of cheering her up cause that will just make her keep it all in, and keeping your feelings to yourself can end up harming yourself.
"it's alright to be sad... your feeling is valid you know that" I said as Jennie hold on to my arm that's wrapped around her since she's leaning on me sideways
"I don't even want to sit on my own feelings for too long cause I'm only getting affected by it" I tried looking up to stop my tears from pouring cause I feel like I'm not doing so much for her.
"But you can just be sad right now.. it's better to let out your feelings rather than keeping it all in" I said making her nod slowly "Jennie, I want you to know that if you need the time alone, i can give you that. But I also want to let you know that, let's say in a span of a whole day, I can give you half of it or let's say most of it for your time alone, but I will stay with you for the other half or even a minute of it just for you to have someone to lean on. I know you're very independent and a very strong woman and i'm very proud of you for that. But I also want you to know that you can be vulnerable around me. And I don't want you to think that, you don't want to do that cause you might make me sad as well, but leave it on me alright? If we get sad together, then that is my choice. I don't want you to go through it alone, alright? We can't always be happy, but at least we have each other."
