Lying to avoid explaining the millions of conflicting emotions that dance inside, set aflame. Ringmaster is always unbalanced-not sure how to feel and heal. He never learned how to process despair, too busy to sit with the emotions, care for them, validate them. He pretends to be strong, pushes through the day because no one cares as much as he does. Now you can find out what it is like to survive yourself. In the mental breakdown state of her mind, the emotionally broken girl copes with life's hardships in a cognitive capacity of a modern non-traditional circus. Based on true-life events, my 73,459-word fiction novel is based on real experiences living with borderline personality disorder. A Journey Back to Me: Learning to live with Borderline Personality Disorder is where Ringmaster and the circus performers take the audience on an adventure through mental illness. My book takes place at Planet Janet, a fantasy circus in which the Ringmaster interacts with each performance while interweaving my personal experiences of coping and living with the daily struggles of depression, rage, anxiety, panic attacks, and relationships. Each performer at the circus has a specific act that correlates with how I dealt with each situation.