blossom//k.t.

twenty nine

"this is um where me and jungkook came by to celebrate my art getting sold for the first time" taehyung's eyes glittered as they held nostalgia, as if he were reliving that day and rumi listened carefully, she couldn't be gladder that he was opening up to her. she stepped away from him, wanting to actually concentrate on what he's saying instead of feeling like her body was on fire with him behind her, and she leaned back on the wall, giving him a cue to continue.

"this is also the wild story that you heard of vante and his friend almost getting arrested, that day was a narrow escape. we just finished painting some of the biggest walls when we heard the police car, i don't think i've ever ran that much in my life" he finished with a small chuckle, and rumi smiled at his happy face as he spoke of the fond memory. she couldn't help but smile back, he just looked so blissfully lost in that memory and who was rumi to ruin his train of thought.

"so, we're finally going to acknowledge that you are vante?" rumi stated with eyebrows raised, vante had still not come up in discussion between them and she felt like it was her first time hearing that taehyung is vante all over again, she sighed when taehyung nodded with his head down. she should be ecstatic, that she was in front of this artist that she's always found fascinating, but she felt disappointed, like a piece of the puzzle of vante that she never wanted to find had somehow presented itself to her and she felt selfish for thinking like that.

"were you ever going to tell me or were you just going to watch me be a fool, praising you in front of you?" even if rumi's words were harsh, her tone was wavering, somewhere between embarrassment and aggressiveness. taehyung winced at her words, but he also knew he fully deserved it.

"i did want to tell you, trust me i really did" his voice sounded desperate but tired at the same time. desperate because he needed her to understand that he never had purposely wanted to hide himself away from her and tired because he was emotionally drained, every piece of him ached and ached, his mind proving itself to be his worst enemy and he needed a break from it.

"when?" rumi sighed out, not believing him, if he wanted to tell her that badly, he would have, right? or he would have at least tried to but he never even tried to give her a clue.

"rumi, it's not as easy as you might think it is" he said, frustratedly running his hands through his hair and dropping the paint can in his hand to the floor as rumi frowned at him.

"i never said it was easy, but how am i ever gonna know what it's like if you don't tell me? i'm tired of this taehyung, we always seem to have some problem between us and it usually circles back to you not opening up to me, you only tell me things when you absolutely have to and i don't understand what i'm doing wrong. do you not trust me, is that it?" rumi could hear her voice slightly breaking and she hated that, she hated being vulnerable like this. taehyung repeatedly shook his head at her words, taking her hands in his, she let him, she missed his hands holding hers a little too much to deny them, and taehyung kept his gaze down, trying to gather the right words to say.

"it's not about you, not at all. rumi, i struggle with being vante, a lot more than i should. as vante, i'm this mysterious, interesting artist whose mind is intelligent or whatever they say, but as me, i'm just taehyung, an average guy, who works in a flower shop, goes back home to his annoying best friend, and burns everything he tries to cook. as taehyung, vante is too high of a pedestal for me to step to and as vante, taehyung is a stranger, but in both ways, i have a lot of issues with myself, i hate being both of them, because either way, i'll never be enough" rumi could see the tears on taehyung's cheeks as he spoke even with his head down and she never felt more heartbroken.

this man, who shined so brightly for her, felt like he wasn't enough, the same man who made her laugh until her sides hurt, who made her blush so furiously, who hugged her to keep her together when she was falling into pieces, who made her feel loved, he thought he wasn't enough and that tightened the knot in rumi's throat. she wanted to punch him, scream at him that he was more than enough, not just enough, but absolutely brilliant as both taehyung and vante. since punching would be slightly inappropriate at the exact moment, she circled her arms around him, just like he did for her, and let him bury his head in her neck as he let his tears dampen her skin, while gripping her tighter. she could feel her own eyes watering, seeing how broken the seemingly perfect man was.