Glorybringer AU ☆the fault in our stars☆

[8] I Wish

☆Glory☆

If you were in love with someone that never loved you back, what would you do? Is there a way you can end it?

-Daffodil

I'm not the type to write stuff in my school blog, but I'm desperate for answers and I guess I don't know any other websites. Grandmother is too strict with social media and I don't have any other friends to ask these kinds of private questions to except the one that I am loving hopelessly.

I think of my new drama friends- Tsunami, Sunny, Starflight, and Clay- but I don't think they would be okay with someone they just met few days ago asking questions like those. Anyone could guess who I was talking about, anyway, if I didn't ask them anonymously.

I clench my eyes shut and click enter. I sit on my desk staring at the screen for a while, but nobody answers. Figures. Nobody ever looks at the school website, especially at weekends.

I head downstairs to give Grandmother her usual cup of tea. I say hi to our housekeeper, Mrs. Secretkeeper, and to her daughter Moon. They have lived with us for a few months. Maybe I should have talked to Moon, I think, but she's only in elementary school and I dismiss it. Although she does have two boys her age running after her. Sometimes I wonder how she does it. Maybe I should, later.

"Would you like a cup of tea, Moon?" I pick lavender tea and she shakes her head. She looks at me with big eyes- they always remind me of Deathbringer's- and place her hands out towards me.

"Cookies are bad for your health, Moon, you shouldnt eat over three a day," I say loudly as I hand her a double chocolate chip cookie. I lower my voice. "Eat it all before you go into your room. I'm dead if your mother finds out. Got it?"

She gives me a huge, mischievous smile and gives me a thumbs-up. "You're so strict, Glory," she says loudly when Secretkeeper yells at Moon to come help her fold laundry. "In a minute, Mom, I have to use the restroom!" She hugs me and runs to her room.

Moon's big, mischievous smile reminds me of Deathbringer, and I look at my phone for a reply. Still no luck. I put my earbuds on and look at Grandmother's collection of cups.

Baby, I don't feel so good, six words you never understood
I'll never let you go, five words you'll never say

I pick the pink one with the red flowers. That's when I realize how sad my weekends are without him- he used to come over all the time. And now, after going out with Greatness, his visits have become rare. Perhaps that's the general rule, that you don't visit a girl's house on your own when you have a girlfriend. I wouldn't know. Maybe I should ask Moon?

I would like to ask her a lot of things, but the fact a fourth grader knows more about dating than me is a little depressing. Stupid pride and stupid Deathbringer.

I laugh along like nothing's wrong, four days has never felt so long
If three's a crowd and two was us, one slipped away

Maybe that's unfair. He never saw me as more than a friend- and that probably hurts more than anything. The fact I can't do much without him is mostly my fault, not his. Maybe I should have never let him talk to me that time at school. Maybe I should have been that one girl that didn't have friends- loneliness would have been better than this.

I just wanna make you feel okay
But all you do is look the other way
I can't tell you how much I wish I didn't wanna stay
I just kinda wish you were gay