Glorybringer AU ☆the fault in our stars☆

[22] Manipulation

☆Deathbringer☆

It might a little too fast, but I want to start on my first kiss with Greatness. Before that first kiss, I never viewed her someone that I liked. She was a person I forcibly pleased because she knew my secrets. Or maybe I used that as an excuse. I don't really know.

Greatness, the Destroyer's daughter, happened to have a very sweet tooth. Since she lived alone, she came to my house when she was bored. And because she held me in her hands-- my secret on the tip of her tongue, always ready to be said-- I could never make her turn back.

She liked dark chocolate-- she always had one in her hand, no matter what situation she was in-- whether she was threatening someone, or laughing at a joke. It differed everyday. Greatness came whenever she pleased, so I couldn't help but distance Glory. Greatness also knew this, and maybe she held onto it as one of her valuable pieces. But she had enough sense to sneak away whenever my mother came to the house. Maybe she knew that Mother would freak out by just looking at her. Sometimes she came by wearing a wig and heavy makeup to disguise herself. She really was good at it-- sometimes I couldn't even identify her when she rang the doorbell.

She was probably lonely a lot. No matter what she said, she had nobody. Her mother, no matter how bloodthirsty, had died. Most of her friends were new, and a lot of people were trying to track her down to kill her. She was living in a lonely apartment by herself. I saw how she looked at Mother-- how they filled with longing for something she couldn't have. It was almost identical to the one Glory had when she looked at me and Mother. So I let her stay.

"You should invite Glory over," she said in summer break, looking pointedly at my hands, which were gripping the phone. I did want to call her. Greatness was handing me a black plastic bag filled with chocolate ice-cream, taking one for herself. "You like her, don't you? It's written all over your face."

"We only view each other as friends," I replied shortly. "And if you did want me to hold on to my relationship with Glory, you shouldn't come so much. You know why I don't invite her."

She was brushing her short black hair, her eyes searching my face. "I actually don't know. Is it because of--the assassination? Does she even know?"

I chose my words carefully, trying to make myself sound pitiful. "Of course not." I looked at my ice cream. Was she just asking because she wanted information to use against me? Would it be wise to tell her? But she probably knew, the things I did. "Do you think I would be able to face her if she knew everything I did? She would look at me as a monster, like everyone else."

Maybe that was one of the reasons I liked Greatness so much. Because I could tell her things I didn't tell anyone else. The things I thought I had to take to my grave. And now I was spilling the secrets, telling myself that it was just so I could win her heart. Romantic or platonic. It didn't matter. I really was a piece of shit, thinking that the only thing that mattered about us was that she had my secrets. Looking back, maybe I didn't even know her.

I was always the trashy part in a relationship, to be truthful. My father had always been the abusive one. He never abused Mother physically-- to be truthful, he would have gotten beaten himself if he had tried-- but he always stayed in contact with her. No matter what Mother said, she had loved him. She had loved him with everything she had, and she abandoned everything when she got pregnant with me. Even after he left us, he still contacted Mother and sent her money. I wish he hadn't done that, because it gave him an excuse to have a control over our lives until he betrayed us to Battlewinner. He had never loved her and it was clear, but he stayed around to keep hurting her because he enjoyed her pain. He rejected her countless times, gave her a little encouragement, and squished down her feelings all over again. Even for me-- a six year old kid-- it was sickening to see.