Hate Me Closer (Phan)

Chapter Eight

His grandma ended up having a notebook where she wrote down everything she thought Dan would like to know. It meant he could read it in his own time, but he could also write back, and at no point did they need to address it face to face. It was always harder to do that.

She set him up with his own room in her small two-bedroom bungalow. She did have it as a piano and book room, but she boxed up the books into the attic and moved a bed in with the instrument. He loved it, and he didn't know why. It just felt like home.

He was unpacking the last of his suitcases when his hand fell on Chris' Christmas gift to him. He chuckled, walking to his grandma's landline phone and dialling the number he'd taken a note of in the early months of the school year, "Hey, can I speak to Chris?"

"Yeah, it's me, Dan!" Chris shouted down the line, "How's it going?"

"I was in a car crash," Dan admitted, taking a seat on the wooden chair beside him.

"Oh my God." Chris sighed, "When? Are you okay?"

"On the way home from school two weeks ago. I'm okay, I broke my ankle, hurt my shoulder, and got whiplash..."

"Will you have your cast when you get to school?" Dan could tell his best friend was trying to keep up with his usual jokes, but he was struggling. Maybe he knew the news wasn't all good.

"Nah, sorry." Dan chuckled, "Chris?"

There was a pause before Chris solemnly replied, "Yeah?"

"I was the only one to live." Dan let the news float in the air, the wire from the phone dancing around his finger as he twisted it.

"Who picked you up?" Chris finally asked.

"Both my parents." Dan didn't make Chris keep asking the questions, "I'm staying with my grandma. I'll be back at school as normal."

"Are you...okay?" Chris asked again, but with a different tone.

Dan thought for a moment. He was going to say yes, but he wasn't, "No." he replied. Everything he'd known was thrown off and thrown to shit. His routines, his home, the ugly orange glow of his bedroom light. He'd never wanted to be going to school more - at least that was routine.

He didn't talk to Chris for much longer. His friend offered him the line anytime, and Dan thanked him, saying he'd call again soon. He withered away back to his new bedroom, walking past the piano as he did so. He stopped, sliding his hand over the forming dust on the lid, and peeled the cover up.

He'd never had the desire to play an instrument before, but he needed a distraction, so he took a seat on the stool and ran his fingers over the only-just in-tune keys. He thought they sounded beautiful, even if he wasn't quite sure how they should be played.

"That's middle C." his grandma whispered from the doorway, "Fancy having a go?" her grandson nodded, so she stood behind him, pressing the notes as she explained, "Now that way you have D, E, F, G. The other way you have B, A. That repeats. That side is the bass clef, and the right side is the treble clef." she smiled as the young teenager guided his fingers over the notes, "I'll get it tuned for you, if you're interested. And, I've got some books that teach the basics." she smiled at him.

"Thank you," Dan whispered, beginning to play his own melodies.

He started something that evening, and for the rest of December, he familiarised himself with the way the instrument played. His grandma bought him piano books for Christmas, and he taught her how to play the PlayStation in return. He also cooked with her and played her the simple songs he'd managed to remember already.

"How about you get lessons at school?" she suggested one evening.

Dan nodded, "I'm alright, thank you."

"Are you sure? It would be my gift to you. You deserve it."

"Thank you, but I'm alright."

She was the comfort and warmth he needed to recover. The rest of the winter holiday was spent mindlessly playing the days away on his console and the piano. By the end of the weeks, he had himself playing grade one pieces, entirely teaching himself the basics. He wanted to play Für Elise by the time he was in Second Form. It was ambitious, but it was his mother's favourite classical piece, and he wasn't sure what else he'd do with his time. He believed he saw a piano in the Dining Hall of Hepburn House, although it didn't mean much to him in the first term.

In the second week of January, his suitcase was packed up and Dan was on his way back to school. His grandma never agreed with boarding school, but as she drove him through the country roads, she believed it was the best for him in his current situation. She swore to herself to never drive down the road his parents lost their lives on because it wasn't fair on Dan, even if it was a ten-minute detour.

"Your school is aware, okay? I'm sure Mrs Blackwell will talk to you when you arrive." she took a deep breath, "Are you sure you're ready to back?"

"Yeah." Dan nodded, "I need to."

"Okay." his grandma smiled.

They eventually pulled up outside the gates of the campus. Dan opened his car door, hugging his grandma goodbye before he dragged his suitcase up the stone path. Mrs Blackwell was already walking towards him, despite none of the other Hsms being there to greet their students. The teenager wondered how much special treatment would be force-fed down his throat.

"Should we have a chat?" she asked, polite enough not to fake a smile. Dan nodded, being led up to his house and into a small office he wasn't aware existed, "How are you doing?" she began, "And be honest with me."

"I'm okay." Dan smiled half-heartedly, but his House Mistress was just glad he didn't try to hide his pain, "Glad to be back."

"That's good." she nodded, "I want to start with lessons, if that's okay?" Dan agreed, so she took out a paper and pen, "This term you're to make the choice of what GCSEs you want to do...do you have any clue what you want to do, bearing in mind you have to do Maths, all three sciences, French, and the Englishes?"

"Geography, Art, Drama, and Music." he smiled.

"Music? You didn't strike me as the type."

"Learnt I liked it because my grandma has a piano."

She hummed to herself, "I see. So, in theory, you don't need to be doing History, or Latin." she raised her eyebrows.

"No...?" Dan confirmed, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

"I'm offering you drop them early and come back to Hepburn in those lessons. You can go into the Dining Hall and do Prep, or draw, or some other activity-"

"Can I use the piano that's in there?" Dan jumped on the opportunity.

"Of course." Mrs Blackwell agreed, "Do you think that'll help?" he nodded in response so she grinned, "Okay, and the other thing is your dorm. I've noticed you're closest friends with Chris, yes?" he nodded again, so she continued, "Perfect. I've put you two in the same dorm again. No point messing you around more than I need to."

"Thank you."

"I'm here if you need me, okay? It's my job." she stood up, leaving the pen on the side, "I like you, Dan. You got into a bit of trouble last term, but keep your head on your shoulders and I think you'll go a long way."