Hate Me Closer (Phan)

Chapter Thirty

"I'm glad we took the same classes." Phil admitted with his head resting against his desk, "Even if it was unintentional."

"You can say that again. I don't know where I'd have been if I couldn't be in science with you. Way back, I hated finding out that you took the same extras as me, but now it just means I can repay you for your Easter tutoring." Dan smiled, lifting Phil's head off of the desk and opening their Geography textbook, "I know this might sound insane, but...do you want to plan to take the same A-Levels?"

"Yes." Phil nodded without hesitation, "What do you want to take?" they turned to their dorm door as they heard a commotion down the hall. They ignored it. Halloween was in a few days so they assumed it was related to that.

"Music and Drama without hesitation. I can't not do those. The others...I'm not fussed." Dan shrugged, "You?" he kicked back his chair and bit on the end of his pen.

"Okay, sounds good. I have to do English Language. Maybe History or Philosophy?" he suggested.

His friend nodded, smiling at their idea, "We can think about it another-"

At that moment, Chris came barging through the door with his hands over his eyes and his hair in a mess, "I just wanted to get my fucking comb but you can't do anything without Third Form boys having their dicks out!" he squealed.

"Swords or biscuits?" a boy named Marcus, lying on the far bed, asked.

"Swords." Chris sighed, "Do you have a brush I can borrow?" The blonde boy nodded, pointing to a sink where one was nearly balanced behind the taps. Chris picked it up, assessing his brown frizz as he combed it out, "Sure, putting a ruler in your pants and fighting with it is fun enough, but don't let boarding boys discover tape because they're tying people up and those rulers, that were mostly innocently when they were only tucked into their fliers, are now taped to their semis and out on show." he glared at Dan who was giving him a suggestive look, "Don't you dare say I'm into that. Consent, Danny Boy, consent."

Daniel chuckled, turning back to Phil who was getting him to go through the formation of waterfalls once again. Their mock exams were in a month's time and it was hard to put a finger on a single boy in their year who wasn't run-down and overloaded with work. They felt completely hopeless, every single one of them, and being tested every week only added to the pressure instead of easing them.

Tensions rose and teenagers riled up with frustration didn't do well for Phil, who seemed to be at the bottom of the pack. Chris' downright denials of his sexuality to his year-mates weren't convincing, making him fear every lesson more and more with each passing day. But, the four boys had each other even if they were all falling apart.

"I'm done with it. I don't want to do it anymore." Phil complained, shutting the book and turning to Dan, "Do you want to go to the Great Hall to practice piano for a while? I'll come with you." he offered.

"Sure." Dan agreed, "It's not like we can get anywhere else while the rest of Crossings screams their lungs out a few rooms down." he muttered spitefully. His new house didn't have a piano within its walls like Hepburn did, but it meant Dan could use the grand piano that was situated at the back of the school's hall. He loved the way the instrument sounded as it echoed off the old, wooden pillars.

"I'm coming, too." Chris added, "Anything to get me out of here."

"At least it's not soggy biscuit or dares." Dan chuckled, taking them out of the dorm and down the hallway.

"He's not wrong." Phil agreed, his eyes falling to a stray ruler outside the loud dormitory, where it supposedly flung from the zip of a fifteen-year-old boy. It had 'bender' scribbled across it in pen, but the black-haired boy didn't particularly feel like picking it up to throw it away.

Dan and Chris saw it too, but there's only so much abuse you can take before you become oblivious to it entirely. It would be in nine years' time when the boys look back at their secondary school education and see it for the mess it was. But, until then, the Great Hall's piano as Howell played countless hours in total was their escape. The school tried to push him to take exams, but he refused them time and time again.

***

It was in the last few weeks of school that his House Master, Mr Brown, sat him in his office with a glass of water and a painting of the local landscape hung on his back wall. All the furniture was wood that was close to black, and the general set-up of the office often reminded Dan of a ship, "Do you like boats?" the student asked as he crossed his legs in the wooden armchair.

"I do, actually." Mr Brown furrowed his eyebrows, "How did you guess?"

Dan bit his lips and shrugged, staring at the ship wheel hung behind the teacher. Mr Brown wore a full set of copper hair that was worn identical to every other teacher who tried to hide their thinning strands. He also kept a caterpillar below his nose that was cut slightly too long on either side of his mouth. Dan liked the man, though; not as much as he liked Mrs Blackwell, but he supposed he couldn't be coddled forever.

"I've got you in here in regards to your piano playing." he began, watching Dan's eyes roll, "Now, I know, I know we've been here before. You rejected grade two, grade three, grade four. But, in February, the grade five examinations are going ahead and I have no doubt you'd pass. It would count as UCAS points too, despite you looking at going to the United States for college."

"Fine!" Dan gave in, "I'll take the exams. As long as this is the only music exam you'll ever make me take, and I don't have to do any concerts ever." Dan bargained.

"Deal." Mr Brown smiled, offering his hand out for Dan to shake. The fifteen-year-old shook it, standing up at his House Master passed him the examination music books, "I got these ready earlier." he slyly winked, walking the teenager out of his office, "Good luck for your mock exams this week, Dan. I'm sure you'll do fine."

"Thank you, Sir." Dan nodded, walking up the stairs of Crossings house to explain his new commitment to his friends.