Hate Me Closer (Phan)

Chapter Fifty-Two

They woke up to a harsh knock on their door, covering their eyes as the daylight sharply cut into their room. They moved, feeling their naked bodies intertwined beautifully into one another. The two teenagers smiled, briefly sharing a kiss as they became entirely aware of what they'd done the night before.

The knock came again, "Boys?" Phil's dad called out, "We asked you to be up at ten for breakfast, it's now half-past and we've heard nothing from either of you!"

They giggled, Dan calling out, "Sorry! I forgot to set an alarm." although they had a very good reason as to why they didn't remember.

"Okay, be quick. Breakfast shuts at half eleven." they pushed themselves out of bed and gathered their clothes out of their cupboards, dressing themselves in the same room before they brushed their teeth in the bathroom together. Dan smiled at their reflection, leaning his head into Phil's shoulder as he admired themselves in the mirror.

Phil spat into the basin, washing out his brush and mouth before he whispered, "We're perfect."

"Obviously." Dan teased, rolling his eyes before he combed his curls into a neat pile.

Phil opened the door before his boyfriend whimpered, "Hold on! I forgot to put my shoes on."

"How do you forget to put your shoes on?" he chuckled, rolling his eyes as he saw his mother join him as they waited. She briefly peered into the room but it was all she needed to see. She took a breath in and walked a bit away.

"Okay." Dan smiled, closing the door behind them as they walked through the corridor to the main deck. The two boys decided they were going to swim in the pools on the lower deck after breakfast. It was too windy for them to want to be in any outside water, and they thought it might be quieter down there.

They finished up their pastries and walked back to their room, changing into their swimming trunks and throwing t-shirts over those. They weren't aware that it opened up into a glass window, where they had the view of the sea spread out on the far wall. The few people that were in there were talking quite loudly, so they didn't feel as though they were intruding if they jumped into the water.

The pool around them both rippled with their splash, before they swam back up to the surface and laughed, splashing the other in the face, "It's colder than I thought it'd be." he complained light-heartedly. Dan rolled his eyes, swimming onto his back and letting himself drift above the waters.

"We should go skinny dipping one day." Dan randomly stated.

"What?!" Phil cackled, pulling the other boy upright again.

The brown-haired boy laughed, shaking his head as he smiled, "It was just a random thought! I mean...wouldn't you like to?"

"I mean," Phil blushed, "sure." they swam up to the window where most of the other people were, although the others mostly sat in the seats carved out of the edges of the swimming pool. Instead, Dan and Phil leant in the middle, away from everyone else, "Why do you think it's so quiet?" the older boy asked.

"I guess most people don't feel like they need to swim when they're on the sea." Dan shrugged, kicking his legs gently in the water, "But I say, why stop when you can go all in?"

"You talk in cryptics too much," Phil mumbled.

"I think you try to analyse my words too much." Dan replied, sharing a grin between the two of them, "If I kissed you..." the younger boy tested, "do you think anyone who saw us would care?"

Phil nodded, looking away from his boyfriend and instead at the lesser beautiful view through the glass, "I think so," he admitted, "and I'd rather get through a holiday without rumours going around about two gay teenagers getting off on the cruise."

Dan looked down at his reflection in the pool water, seeing his face frown back up at him, "I want to change that." he kindled the flame inside of himself, "I want to make a name for myself and make sure nobody sees us as lesser than. In fact, I want them to see us and look on us in admiration. You deserve that, Phil."

"You deserve that just for speaking it." the black-haired boy grinned back.

"I want to make a difference." he continued, "I want to start a fire and let the world burn and change for the better. What's the point in having a life if you don't do something special with it, Phil?"

"You are doing something special." the older boy reassured him, "You have me, and you make everyone around you happy."

"I made you miserable, first." Dan sighed, "Maybe that's just it. Maybe you've got to get through the pain, get through making everyone else suffer, and if you survive the guilt and destruction of that, only then does the world believe you are worth listening to."

"I'd listen to you," Phil whispered.

Dan leant in, "I'm sure you'd much rather hear me moan."

"I want to make you a promise." Phil stated, "I don't like making promises because my family has taught me that you have to keep a promise no matter what, and I don't believe you can guarantee you can keep a promise: someone might die, in the most extreme cases. But, Dan?"

"Yes." the boy replied.

"I promise that one day, when we're in our thirties, I'll have you on a cruise, and we'll kiss right here in front of everybody else, and no one will say a thing. No one will want to say a thing." he was luring Dan into a trap he entirely believed he would keep.

The younger boy nodded, careful with his words as he feebly whispered, "Okay." his heart beat as he desperately wished his boyfriend wouldn't make him promise it back.

But, no words were shared.

They turned back to the view outside the window as the ripples off the back of the boat blew away from them. Dan slowly kicked himself back, closing his eyes and letting the water floating around him drift him across the pool. In his mind, it was only him. It always had been, and it always would be.