Hate Me Closer (Phan)

Chapter Forty-Nine

Dan sat with his head on Phil's stomach as they looked up at the noon sky. If you looked at them, you'd have thought they were gazing at the clouds above their eyes, but instead they were lost in their own minds. Maybe 'lost' wouldn't be the best way to describe where they were, because they both felt very much at home.

Dan took a breath in, rolling himself off of Phil's waist and onto his elbows, propping himself up as he looked at the older boy, "What time are we being picked up?" he asked with his chin on his fist.

Phil brought himself back to the moment, sitting up and peering at his watch, "Half one. We've got an hour." he smiled, giggling as he fixed the brown-haired boy's fringe.

"Ugh, lucky Firsties going home already. He mumbled, scrunching his nose and crossing his arms."

"Hey, we were them once, too." Phil pointed out as he looked calmly at his friend.

"Don't remind me." Dan grumbled, a grunt escaping his throat, "Sixth Form next year, huh?" he asked in disbelief.

The older boy's eyes scanned the space around them before he turned to Dan, taking his chin in his forefingers and pecking their lips together, "That'll be interesting."

"What would you say the worst House's initiation is?" the smaller boy asked, pulling his face away as he thought.

"Well doesn't Graphing have that worm thing?" Phil said in disgust.

Dan hummed, "Right. Yeah."

"What about in your opinion?" the black-haired boy asked.

"Well, I was thinking Colonel with their puddle water drinking. Did you hear a boy went to hospital this year because of that?" Dan chuckled in amusement.

"Yeah. You know that assembly we had in October?"

"Yeah. Was that what it was about?"

"Mmhm."

"Ohhh-" Dan gasped, the assembly in the first term about their initiations finally making sense. The school knew they went on, so it was weird for the head to make a statement about them now, "And ours is to just get pissed." he cackled, flopping onto his back again.

"You say that all bad-boyish now, just wait 'til you're hunched over a toilet bowl; you won't feel cool then." Phil snickered, shaking his head at his best friend, "Have you ever got drunk before?"

Dan shrugged his shoulder, "I got slightly-more-than tipsy on New Year's when I was twelve, but I doubt I'd have called that drunk." he ran his fingers through Phil's black strands as he stared at the smaller boy from above, "What about you?"

"The most I've touched is sips of it when my parents and older brother offered it to me as a bit of a joke." Phil shrugged, "Don't think I've had any for about a year and a half."

"I want to fuck you until you sweat on a night you won't forget." Dan grinned deviously smirked with his tongue bitten between his teeth.

"The only difference there...is that we'll be doing it at night and not the late afternoon in a store cupboard." Phil chuckled under the midday sun.

"Fine. Challenge accepted." the younger boy teased.

"Challenge?" Phil furrowed his eyebrows, "What challenge did I set?"

"By Christmas..." he inched his face closer to his friend's, "I'd have blown you within every hour of the day...each in a different place." he moved his lips as if to kiss the older boy, but then he stood up, offering a palm out to an utterly lost teenager, "I need to finish packing."

"Do you think my mum'll question us having a sleepover tonight?" Phil giggled, taking Dan's hand and walking back to the front of Crossings with his best friend.

***

A while later, they were dragging their suitcases up the stone walkway towards Phil's parents, greeting Katherine with a hug as she fussed over them once again, "Oh, it's good to see you." she grinned, kissing Phil on the forehead.

"I've kissed that face, too," Dan smirked to himself.

She held Dan in her arms for a moment, letting the boy tower over her as she hugged him, "Come on, let's get you both in the car. I have something to tell you, too."

The four of them stepped into the vehicle and buckled themselves in, winding down the windows and letting Nigel drive them all back home. Katherine turned in her seat, grinning widely at the two teenagers, "Right. I've thought that we've not been away properly for ages. Since you joined us really, Dan, and it's not your fault it's mainly because Martyn moved out and it felt wrong doing a family holiday without him. But, he's agreed to fourteen days this month and so I booked us a European cruise." she beamed at the both of them.

"Seriously?" Phil asked, raising his eyebrows, "That's amazing, thanks, Mum! When are we going?"

"Twenty-fourth. I got Martyn a twin room so that he could bring a friend along because I'm sure you two will be doing your own thing. Oh, right, I also assumed you'd be fine sharing a room? There's not been any major drama over this term has there?" she grinned in amusement.

"Wait-" Dan furrowed his eyebrows, "I'm going?"

"Yes?" Kath suspiciously confirmed, "Is that okay?"

"Yeah!" the youngest boy chuckled, "I think I just assumed it was for you four."

"Oh, Dan." Katherine shook her head, "There's no way I'd do it without you, even if I was paid to leave you behind."

"We're fine sharing a room." Phil piped in, trying to hide his blush behind his hand.

"Perfect. You save me four-hundred pounds, then." she grinned, turning back to face out the front-view window. Dan took in a sharp breath and looked at the floor of the vehicle. Nobody would usually notice, but the Lesters did, "Dan?" Kath hummed, turning back to him, "Are you okay?"

He nodded, keeping his eyes glued to the floor. He was usually fine in cars, but there was a moment when Kath turned around to look at the distant view that he felt a sense of panic shiver down his spine. It then clicked in his mind what was wrong.

"Nigel, pull over." Kath quietly commanded, waiting for the vehicle to drift to a stop so she could unbuckle her seatbelt and turn around, "You can have a moment, if you need."

The teenager sighed, letting the breaths fall in and out of his lungs as the world beated around him, "Sorry." he chuckled awkwardly. He heard Phil unbuckle his belt and shuffle to the middle seat, where he held the teary-eyed boy to his chest. Dan accepted the hug, eventually asking, "Can we...swap seats? I haven't sat on the right-hand side since..."

"Oh," Phil mumbled.

"It's no one's fault, really!" Dan giggled, "I didn't realise until Katherine turned around and it felt familiar, and-"

"Dan." Phil reassured him, "It's okay."

Katherine saw the way the younger boy relaxed and she wasn't sure if it was the friendship they'd gained in boarding school or how he stood for the teenager when Dan lost everything, but she'd never seen someone calm so suddenly at the simple mention of their name. She consciously made a note of it, her mind working behind a smile.

Dan stepped out of his car door and walked around the back until he got into the left side, shuffling back to Phil's side and subtly grabbing his hand between their legs, "Thank you." he muttered honestly.

"Can I continue talking about this cruise now?" Katherine giggled, seeing he had calmed again, "Have you ever been on holiday before, Dan?"

"No," he admitted, losing himself in Katherine's cruise-talk.

"Well, a nine-hundred pound per head holiday isn't a bad place to start." Nigel laughed, keeping his eyes on the road as he drove around a corner.

Dan's eyes widened as he looked at Phil's unsurprised expression. It wouldn't be a life he didn't understand for long.