Drunk Love ||BakuDeku||

Part 21: Recovery

Izuku cringed at the thoughts that clouded his head. Suddenly, Katsuki's warm and gentle touch felt disgusting and cold. Izuku slightly quivered in his embrace. The blond unlocked the door and headed towards a guest room. Izuku wouldn't be comfortable in his room and as much as the blond wanted to carry Izuku to his room and snuggle with him, he couldn't. Reluctantly, he opened the door to reveal a neatly made bed, fairly sized furniture filling the room.

He gently rested the greenette on the bed and used his hand to brush back Izuku hair to place a kiss to his forehead. But as soon as Izuku averted his gaze Katsuki stopped. It was almost instinct at this point, to just freely show affection to the greenette. So Katsuki hadn't taken into consideration of the fact that they weren't on good terms and almost went ahead to kiss him.

He pulled back, an awkward cough escaping his mouth as he apologized. There was a bitter taste in his mouth. He was apologizing to the greenette for almost kissing him, something he shouldn't have to do. He should be cuddling and embracing the smaller male, expressing love to him and basking in his warmth. Instead, he's met with cold eyes and a broken stare. All because of him.

Damn it, why's everything so fucked up? They were doing so good. Katsuki was doing so good. All the insecurities and second guessing had come to stop. All the negativity had faded into the positive glow of Izuku. Katsuki was finally feeling liberated. But as soon as it vanished it came back. Ten times more unstable and harsh. Because it wasn't just insecurities about himself, it was the relationship with Izuku as well. If he couldn't keep a stable relationship, then was he even stable?

'Stop it.' Katsuki pushed out the thoughts. It wasn't the time for his pathetic insecurities, it was time for Katsuki's redemption. And he wasn't going to waste his chance, insecurities or not. He stood up and sighed before reaching over to the door and exiting. And soon as he stepped out, the waterworks began.

It was a pitiful sight. His knees buckled and he fell over, his back now slumped against the door. His blond hair disheveled as he carded his fingers through it, tugging so harshly that he felt a headache on its way. Clear, salty tears trickled down his face as he tucked his feet to his chest and burred his face into it. His hiccups burned through his throat and sounded out his mouth forcefully. Thin, black eyelashes stuck together as his nose got red from crying. His head throbbed as sobs were released from his mouth.

A few minutes. Not even an hour, and here he was. Again. Here he was crying his heart out again. Here he was listening to his chest rattle when he inhaled and exhaled again. Here he was feeling the burning in his throat again. Here he was listening to his sobs again. Here he was on the floor again. Here he was alone again.

His heart bled out into his mouth as cries wracked his body. The familiar feeling of guilt and doubt clouding his thinking passage as his nostrils breathed in sharply. What was he kidding? He saw the way the greenette looked at him in the room. The look he caused. Izuku was already so fragile and broken, now he was even more fragile and broken. Katsuki was stupid. He knew the greenette loved him, and he loved the greenette.

Who wouldn't? His toxic green eyes resembled emeralds, his freckled identical to the thousands of star that dotted the night. His smile replaced the sun and his cheeks were plump and smooth. His curl atop his head were so soft and delicate. Izuku was so soft and delicate. Katsuki's hands itched to just fling open the door and scoop him up in his hands, bury his nose into the messy curls and breath in the relaxing scent of the male. But no matter how much he longed, he simply couldn't do it. 

Izuku's head fell back against to the bedhead, his own tears illuminating his cheeks as he heard his heart crack from Katsuki's heart breaking sobs. His cries were so full of broken breathing and painful sounds. Izuku felt his hands tremble slightly, some sensation filling that sole body part. His pale hands outstretched towards the door, his body trembling as he tried to get up. He really wanted the blonds embrace, cheater or not. Call it toxic, but he loved this man. His heart still beat for him, his blood rushed his him, his lips called for him, his fingers itched for him, his body longed for him. He craved him.