You will never be a real Koji

Desperation Of The White Room Student

(3rd person POV)

This very moment, in a 1st year classroom within the Advanced Nurturing High School.

The teacher was teaching a coarse and extremely low level curriculum. Almost anyone from the White Room, dropped out or graduated would think that. For a certain White Room student to think that.

From the White Room, he naturally would not be the worst, but he was not the best either. He had glided through the White Room with ease, both literally and figuratively. Probably it was his genes that allowed him to surpass most any other White Room student.

He remembered the White Room being simple, empty, elegant and somewhat furbished with classy futuristic tables and chairs when they do the tablet test, juxtaposed with the harsh and extremely hellish training in the emptier portions of the room. The feeling of classy yet deadly.

To be a White Room Student, he did not care or notice any other kid from his group suddenly fainting, falling weak or going to die. In face, most of them did not show emotions and kept a stoic face either due to the harsh training that they gave up on their own feelings or it was pointless.

"All people are nothing but tools" were useless to him as he could not understand such logic. He and the others had been told a few times by an instructor, of course it became ingrained into his mentality. But the most effective phrase used was...

"Ayanokouji Kiyotaka was much better than you. What is this, stop hesitating."

It was no exaggeration. Cringy lousy original compositions of piano pieces to a well-played piano piece performed by a certain renowned pianist was like him to Ayanokoji. The ultimate fail- phrase it this way, his pieces were his own jazzy compositions while Ayanokoji probably specialized in classical piano. Simple categories like piano and calligraphy were taught hellishly rigid and classical in the White Room, but a 5th generation defiant being would hijack the piano every piano lesson hoping to get the attention of the instructors.

(That day)

(WR Student POV)

A/N: Read in 'ore' and 'omae' speech.

It was piano lesson again. I had to push away the constant reminders the instructor gave me about a certain Ayanokouji. It was going to be hard, the entire piano was white, even the sharp and flat keys which we were told were normally 'black keys'.

I try the newest composition made by myself to once again try to hide my inability to play classical piano. Even though I could play classical decently because this is the White Room, I'm disappointed our unique talents were forced out of the window and everyone learns almost the same skills to the level of one would no longer be able to distinguish a naturally talented classical pianist to a typical White Room student. I glide through my piece perfectly, but the instructor as usual does not want to praise or acknowledge me. As usual,

"Ayanokouji Kiyotaka was much better than you. What kind of funk will lead Japan like this?"

I am once again, a funk in their eyes. I do not understand. I was told by instructors that those who give up their talents are fools, and when I make use of it (read:now), I am portrayed as just another joker. What counts as 'talent', and is there any unorthodox skill that counts one as 'foolish'?

Also regarding Ayanokouji, I suspect he may not be an actual person but a mere device used to motivate every other White Room student. Of course, our generation, the 5th generation would be most influenced. Discussing about nothing but him was the only way we spent out time as a group, even though we rarely interact. What did Ayanokouji do to earn so much praises? Follow the WR schedule blindly? I tried that too but it seems that since he existed all my hopes were gone. I want to kick this guy's ass. What did I do to deserve the cold shoulder? Why...? I...

I'm crying? In front of the instructor? I let my tears flow a bit before I end my piece. Hopefully no one minds.

(Present)

In a flashback, but it was the same during calligraphy too, but still no acknowledgement. Every time I do something funk or stupid or even switch to a serious genius, I was still pitted against a pillar with the name of Ayanokouji. But now, since I am in this school by somehow escaping the White Room I am able to confirm the existence of Ayanokouji Kiyotaka, now a 'senpai' in the name of the cruel system of the school.

He was not god to me. He was just another rival I thought I could face, but the fleeting image of him made me shiver somehow. It was not just admiration, but a fear of losing. I would gladly submit to god, but Ayanokouji was no match for my respect if one would force me to bow to him. This coming exam, I wait for the day to show the universe I am a acknowledgeable pianist on a random uninhabited island. The day to fight using the revered Piano, Calligraphy and Jaywalking to smite his modified White Room existence. The day to... the... th... it was in sync with the awakening of a god's presence I had never seen before, like it could be a 2nd year, 3rd year, 2st year or even classmate... I am blinded by the ambiguity of this certain presence. Was I wrong at first? Ayanokouji merely being an equal? Is it possible if he's... he's...

(3rd person POV)

Enough of your lamenting, crazy delusional White Room defect. The particular student hesitated loudly in the form of a hiccup, shocking most of his classmates and they turned their seats to face him.

"Is everything okay, Utsunomiyagod-kun?"

The White Room student was revealed to have a ridiculously long surname, whether it was legitimate or going undercover but choosing a bad name was up to debate. Utsunomiyagod felt like he was constipating and crying in class. His exit was the only way out. He requested for a toilet pass to escape the awkwardness.

(END)