You will never be a real Koji

Physical Unfitness Lesson

A/N: This is only a PARODY fanfiction. Kinugasa-sama, please prove me wrong if you can.

"Alright you idiots, it's P.E. now, time to get on the bus or we'll me late and missing it."

"Sensei, where exactly?"

"You'll find out."

"But where is Kouenji?"

"He is currently unwell and exempted from the test."

A very good plot reason. Chabashira-sensei dispatched all her students into the bus. When they reached a igloo-shaped laboratory, they were all questioning why they were there.

"Dude, see that? What the fuck is that?"

"I donno man... seems like a strange lab."

"It sure is a strange lab, just look at the white coats approaching!"

"You're right."

"Can you keep quiet for a second, you're posing all of us at risk."

Soon, the scientists is lab coat approached them and told them to form lines of two.

"Welcome to Igloo Laboratory Inc.. Today I will bring you all to your assigned test."

Chatters were heard while they were escorted into their destined station. In a room labelled 'X-RAY', one person was already there lying down on an equipment. He had short, just slightly below ear-length dark blonde hair with almost eye-level bangs and a bleached and dyed pink streak of hair on the front left, wearing a black pyjamas or hospital suit. His upper body was buckled to one part of the chair parallel to the ground, while the other half that was buckled together with his lower body was slowly elevated with his legs buckled straight. On the floor outside was a soda bottle that seemed to be drank in just one sip and capped back.

"Doctor, ppp-please stop! I'm getting sss-s-shivers!"

"Is that all? Turn on the X-ray, Ben."

"Yes sir."

The scientist stopped the moving board. Ben, a fellow scientist, cordoned off the room with a dark screen and released it sooner. When the X-ray was done, the scientist printed out a paper and drew a line extended from the backbone and a line that follows the patient's legs, and calculated the angle with a futuristic digital round sliding protractor in between the two lines, as if the angle was pointing at his butt.

A/N: Diagram comes later

"80.2 degrees, plus or minus 1 degree. Ciel, seems like you've endured till the end. In fact, you're quite flexible compared to people out there. I'll still take it as 80.2. We recorded your results 10 times since your childhood. Please do not come back here, your result will be finalized. I have some more patients to see. Please leave."

"Thank you, doctor..."

The scientist said that with a cheerful disposition. Contrasting the dissonant cheerfulness, the patient known as Ciel was dejected as he left the equipment, swung the door open and went to change. He grabbed the soda bottle and brought it with him but some reason he felt like wanting to throw it away without finishing it.

"Woah, what test is this?"

"Is this a freak experiment?"

"Quiet Miyamoto-kun and Okitani-kun."

Horikita silenced them coldly when they reached the equipment Ciel just left.

"Aniki and those two idiots are brats anyways, tch. Stupid play-cheaters."