Nosferatu || Seongjoong ✓

19| Wanting, but not daring

When Seonghwa finally got home again, he could not bring himself to step further in than standing outside in the wardrobe room, staring into the darkness. After picking up Emma and dropping her off at her home, it was just as if his whole body had gone into a deadlock while he felt a wild restlessness inside his whole body. Seonghwa couldn't figure out what to do with himself and repeatedly had caught himself tearing his mobile out of his pocket to turn it on and see at the clock, then put it in his pocket again. He got nowhere with this.

Without thinking about it, he stuffed his feet down into his leather shoes again, unwrapping his keys from his fingers.

The cold wind hit Seonghwa with the first step he took out the door again, as a warning that he should go back to safety. But nothing felt like safety to him anymore. The light came on along the path to his still hot car. He opened the door and sat down, but after slamming the door behind him, it was as if his whole idea disappeared again. What was it really that he wanted. With a distant gaze, he stared out into the darkness. At one point, the automatic light inside his car also went out, and the light along the house wall also went out. It all fell dark, though light still streamed from nearby houses and busy passing cars.

The man turned the key halfway and stopped moving before the car was chased to life. He looked up again. Maybe he should just stay home before his ignorant destination would get him in trouble again? It happened all too often, he thought. But his own home in itself brought him just as much into trouble, so he certainly set course in the direction of another very well-known place.

____

The door rang as soon as he stepped into the heat and let his gaze sink into the soothing surroundings. There were not many people in the little cafe at this time, only a couple sitting at the end of the room, and a little further along with one of the sides where a bench stood, a group of boys was sitting and talking softly to each other. Seonghwa stepped unnoticed into the cafe and looked over at the pay counter with an expectant twinkle in his eye. But it was an unfamiliar tall young guy who was wiping the table. His hair was dyed a soft brown hue and cut neatly to a length that went to his ears. He looked up with a gentle smile when he had heard the door ring and seen Seonghwa enter. Although the man always brought out his most polite self no matter who he met, that was not the case now. Seonghwa was so far expelled from reality, that he barely noticed the friendly smile before it was too late.

So instead he found a random table and sat down at it. The cafe held on to a decoration that was intertwined with dark wood colors and white smooth surfaces that stood in stark contrast to the lighting. But that made it all more cozy and unique. When the tall guy came down and asked about Seonghwa's order, he asked if Seokjin was standing outside behind. The stranger made no questions as to why Seonghwa asked about it and nodded affirmatively to him. He got up and walked in the direction of the white counter, the other man was following him, still without saying anything, though he, slightly confused, raised an eyebrow at the action.

Quite right as the tall guy had said, Seokjin stood leaning over the coffee machine while he lightly and practiced pulled the cup onto the tabletop next to it, to add the milk and apply his latte art. When he looked up and caught sight of Seonghwa, he was about to shove the cup down off the table in a startle.

"Yah, Park Seonghwa, what are you doing here!?"The elder looked silently for a brief second at Seonghwa, whom he had not seen for a little more than a month now, but then decided to embrace him in a brief hug.

"Hi, uh hyung," Seonghwa said, looking down a little embarrassed, after all, he still had a bad conscience about his resignation from the job at the cafe.

Seokjin waved his hands in front of him in the direction of the table behind him, "Sit down and I'll make a cup of coffee."

Seonghwa nodded with a small 'thank you' and did as the elder had said.

"Yunho-ah, will you serve the latte, which is on the table?"

Seonghwa looked up, at the tall man when the name was mentioned. Seokjin must have hired him instead of himself. The new man carried his smile as he happily took the cup and left the room. Seonghwa stared absently at the man, unaware of it. Only when something was put on the table in front of Seonghwa did he turn his head in the direction of Seokjin, who now sat down in front of him with a smile.

"So, how's work going?" asked the elder, who seemed to be in his best self at the moment.

In contrast, Seonghwa found himself sitting and pondering what Seokjin had just asked him.

"It's... good, I think."

The short answer made the elder wrinkle his face in confusion and doubt until it dawned on him what mood he was about to dive a conversation into, "Only good? I thought it was your dream to get into that stuff. Isn't it what you thought it would be like?"

He became quiet, not really knowing what to say. He glanced down at the steamy hot drink in front of him, getting an uneasy feeling from just seeing the liquid. Suddenly he felt his stomach twist around uncomfortable like he could throw up anytime. But he kept himself together, not letting anything out, let it be feelings or the circumstances he had been through the last weeks.

"It's... it's not about that."

He wanted to tell Seokjin about everything when he let his eyes wander up at the older for a split second. He really did. But when he lowered his head again, he decided not to do so. How would he even be able to tell it all without sounding like a freak? No one would believe him anyway. And if he did, Seonghwa wasn't in doubt if he would end in even more trouble than he already was standing in.

He had just wanted his dream job to come true. Not these weird and scary exposures he went through. If Seonghwa was to tell about the past months, he didn't even knew where to start.

"What about Hongjoong?"

His dark eyes wide open, he looked up at Seokjin again, who had become just as quiet as Seonghwa. He looked like someone who tried to figure out the whole situation, without getting any clues.

Seonghwa felt like his whole head was falling apart. Hongjoong. Hongjoong was the main reason for it all when his abnormal behaviors started. He had turned his whole life upside down in an impossibly short amount of time, and that was why he was so scared.

The older squinted his eyes when he saw the horrified look in Seonghwa's eyes.

The nightmares.

"Hey Seonghwa, are you okay? What's going on?"

Gently, Seokjin placed his hand reassuringly at the younger's shoulder, still not aware of what was going on.

Seonghwa shook his head non believing his own thoughts, "D-don't talk about him."

"Talk about who? Please, Seonghwa tell me what is happening. I really don't understand," Seokjin said, the worry in his eyes unpleasantly obvious.

The younger sighed, and Seokjin let go of his shoulder again, "Don't mind me, hyung. I'm just really stressed out because of work recently."

No, that never was the real truth.

Quietly, he sipped at his coffee, letting the whole drink burn him all the way down. He couldn't care less about a too-hot cup of coffee at the moment.

Then Seokjin got up and left the room alone to Seonghwa and his thoughts.

"Actually, would you call me crazy if I told you that people death threatens me, to make me give them blood while looking like some bloodsucking vampires?"

Seokjin was already gone, when Seonghwa spoke out of his thoughts.

†