When She Left Him

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

~Jade's POV

All of us has given a second chance to do the right things and let your life live to the fullest.

        From the start I've been fooled from the words I heard. I never thought it will ruin my life without knowing by myself and in just every day of my life, I realize... it was all my fault.

        I took away the people that may protect and care me but instead I pushed them away. I do not learned how to keep them, to cherished every moment, to be happy with them. I don't know what is the reason why I'm in a painful world but this gives me strength that no matter how the pain and circumstances may come, if there is a God... you can.

        I'm gonna live my life
        Like every day's the last
        Without a simple good-bye
        It all goes by so fast

       Life is an uneasy challenge. Dapat sa simula pa lang alam mo na kung paano lumaban. Kung paano maging matatag sa mga hamon ng buhay dahil sa mga susunod na araw hindi mo nga malalaman kung anong posibleng mangyari sa paligid mo. Dapat sa mga hamong dumadaan sa buhay natin, sinasapuso natin ang lahat ng ito... kung paano natin kinaya, nalabanan at nalagpasan ang bawat problema na kaya naman natin.

        Everyone had a problem, no one hadn't.

        And now that you're gone
        I can't cry hard enough
        No I can't cry hard enough
        For you to hear me now

        For my experiences, life is so difficult. All I just do is to cry, i don't have any guts to take all the pain away from me because the pain is surreal and it's killing me every now and then. I know you can relate somehow in my condition, I'm a God's girl that turns to a rebel girl. See what life comes to me, and I give up all the things kasi hindi ko kaya.

        Everyone who read this, just stay strong. May this problem of yours, just challenging yourself on how can you pass them or you will give up in between of the start and finished. Don't finished your life, it will ruin everything. Life is important, cherished it. Many people who almost dying and suffering from their illness but they beg for another day of their lives.

        I'm gonna open my eyes
        And see for the first time
        I've let go of you like
        A child letting go of his kite

        Just don't look at things you see, make a move. Open your eyes and if something happen wrong, make a change and change it to a right way. Many ways, many reasons but life is just only one.

        Giving another chance to live is impossible but it happened to me. I felt God's arm in my heart. I never thought that I would leave him just this kind of situation, I didn't imagine I pushed Him away in my life. Lack of trusts and believing. Kasi akala ko hindi magigising ang mama ko kaya nag-give up na ako.

        Dapat nga ayoko na dahil pagod na ako pero I know God has something reason for me to live longer. I don't know it yet but something in the future, something big happens in me.

        In helps of my friends, Taylor Hughes and Coleen, they were the only one's never leave the place where the usual person I need. They are truly a family to me. Hindi sila sumuko sa akin kahit na sukong-suko na ako noong mga panahon na 'yon pero sila hindi, mas pinilit pa nilang magbago ako pero sadyang sinunod ko lang ang sarili ko at napunta sa maling landas.
I regret everything.

        And everything happened in the past were just stuck in my head and makes me cry. Why did I let myself did those things?

        There it goes up in the sky
        There it goes beyond the clouds
        For no reason why
        I can't cry hard enough
        No I can't cry hard enough
        For you to hear me now

        Every time I ask myself, there's a conclusion that everything happens for a reason.

        Dapat nga, I paid for everything happened in our life. Pero hindi ko sinisisi si God sa pagbibigay niya ng second chance sa akin dahil malaking utang na loob sa akin ang mabuhay muli. I don't remember at all but I felt His hand on my hand when I'm at the point of fifty-fifty condition.

        "Jade, tara na." napangiti na lang ako sa pagyaya ni Coleen sa akin.

        After of months, makakalabas na rin kami ng hospital na 'to. We will feel being at home again pero kapag naaalala ko ang bahay namin. Nalulungkot lang ulit ako. Mom just know what happen kaya ang sabi niya sa akin, babalik na lang daw kami sa dati kung ano kami.

        "After of all what happens, Coleen, still there's a miracle."

        Coleen patted my shoulder, "Of course, there's a God."

        God never fail us. Siguro noon pinagdudahan ko Siya dahil sa hindi niya kaagad nasagot ang prayers ko na gumaling si mama at doon ko napagtanto ang lahat na baka hindi siya totoo. Lahat na iniisip ko noon. First is I was believing in Him because He gave the luck to us for being won at the lottery and have a normal life we had and after what happens to my mom.

        My heart just stoned.
        And now that you're gone
        I can't cry hard enough
        No I can't cry hard enough
        For you to hear me now

        There are so many ways to be happy but I tried and leads me to crying all day. I cried, for God to hear what I want but no one answered me. Beyond the white clouds, I'm looking above and thinking what He done to us.

        "Jade, giving another life not just for to live, but for to love and praise Him. He's the one could bring you up there. He can save you, again..." Taylor said.

        I hugged him, "Thank you so much, Taylor."

        After a moment, we head back home to our old house. Habang wala pala kami, inaayos na nang dating nakatira dito ang bahay namin kasi alam nila ang nangyari sa amin kaya nakakatuwa dahil ang lalim ng pagmamahal nila sa kapwa kahit ganoon man lang ang dating.

        "Mauna na kayo sa loob..." sabi ko sa kanila at naiwan naman ako sa labas ng bahay at tumingala sa nagliliwanag na kalangitan. "I may not see you but I can actually feel your presence to me. Lord God, I'm willing to serve you again. Thank you, I offer my life to you." I close my eyes and tears start to falling down.

        I'm alive because of Him. Miracles could happen, just believe and trust Him.