I can never shut up (about you)
"Maybe next session we can talk about..."
That sentence made my heart stop, my breath hitch, and tears appear out of no where in my eyes.
I knew I couldn't avoid the topic of you,
no matter how much I tried.
You made me the person I am today,
for better and for worse.
I can bring you up in conversations with friends,
the ones that knew you or experienced some of you with me.
But having to tell the story of you from the very beginning to the very end,
is worse than any Poe tale I can think of.
Remember when she bought you the book for your birthday and had no shame in showing it off,
thats how I knew she and I were sharing your bed.
Remember when I met you and I promised myself I wasn't going to go through with anyone like you,
thats how I ended up in this mess.
Now I have a half a decade long story to tell that haunts my days and dreams.
The paths that I take, the stores I go or avoid,
the names that left worse of a taste than anything I could imagine,
who needs arsenic when they could just meet you.
And fall in love with you.
And hate who they've become, because of you.
I have to write out of story and explain how you took something with a slight spark,
turned it into a raging forest fire that destroyed everything in her path, including herself,
and eventually suffocated her because you hated what you created.
I wished to have people in my life that never knew of you, or all that you were to me,
yet here you are once again.
I can never shut up about you.
