It's not about you, or him, or the one before, or any of them.
It's about me.
This isn't to say you haven't all been terrible,
To an extent, you all were.
But I trusted you,
Looking for a safe haven in anyone because I could never find one in myself.
I've been searching for something to hold on to,
And I've been allowed to hang on until all my energy was drained,
And became yours,
Then you left just fine.
Im the one left to suffer while you all get to move on with your lives,
The one that should have known better but refused to,
Because I did.
But I tried to have hope.
I tend to remember why I shouldn't have hope,
But it's always too late.
Hope is dangerous,
A double edged sword yet I managed to wound myself with both sides,
How on earth could I manage that?
fear.
Hope and fear in theory should be so far apart but how could one live without the other?
If I fear losing something, then im hopeful I can keep it, right?
I picture hope and fear as best friends,
Doing everything together,
The outgoing one trying to only see the positive,
While the other is more realistic and not by choice but by need.
The need to survive, while the other needs to live.
I live in fear, to survive.
Others have survived with hope, and now they can live.
