I wrote this after reading the play A Long Day's Journey into Night by Eugene O'Neil. It wasn't based off junior but it left the same bittersweet taste I would feel trying to beg him to love me again the way he did before.
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Do you know what it's like to be trapped in your mind?
To try and escape the grasp of the chains that you have tied around yourself,
So you beg for help and cry out for anyone to hear,
But it's as if your voice was taken from you.
There's a loneliness that you can't bear no matter how many people appear to extend hands,
The key word here is "appear",
The voices claim they are there for you,
The hands show they are loose - ready to drop you like glass, watch you shatter, then blame it on you.
The chains on my wrists and ankles aren't metal or harsh,
Rather these are soft, gentle, and caressing me in ways that no one has in such a long time.
A sweet mist pulls me down by these cloudy chains and soon I'm in a haze,
As if I were falling down the rabbit hole but my stop came before Alice's.
The fall wasn't rough, it felt as though I was floating like a feather,
The lack of control didn't scare me, instead it soothed me.
I found myself at different doors of different stages in my life,
and now understood why people would avoid trips down memory lane,
But the path was so inviting and enticing,
The fog appeared as fireflies making sure I found my way safely and took me to those I loved oh so much.
"Mama"
I could hear just a faint whisper but it held the same longing that I did,
Expect the voice longed for someone I didn't know,
And I longed for someone I used to be.
So I didn't turn back,
I followed the firefly fog freely down the path and found my way home again.
Until tomorrow.
