Help Me Survive

XXIII: Confess

Chapter 23

The next morning, I immediately decided to seek Chaos. He deserves to know what happened. After all, siya ang tumulong sa akin sa depresyon ko. And, I also have something important to tell him.

Pagkapasok ko pa lang sa school ay may narinig agad akong bulong-bulungan.

"Sis, hanga ako do'n sa katapangan ni girl a. Mag-confess ba naman kay Chaos sa garden."

"Owemji, like really? Tapos na ba mag-confess?"

"Hindi pa nga, excited ako malaman ang reaksyon ni Chaos. Kawawa si Girl do'n panigurado."

"Sinabi mo pa."

Hindi ko na narinig pa ang bulungan nila dahil nakalayo na ako sa kanila.

Pero wait, sabi nila nasa garden si Chaos. Sakto, siguro puntahan ko nalang siya do'n. By the time naman siguro na makarating ako sa garden ay tapos na 'yong babae na mag-confess sa kaniya.

Though 'di ako magsisinungaling, gusto ko marinig at malaman ang reaksyon ni Chaos sa gagawing confession. Pero huwag na lang. It's their privacy. Whatever Chaos' reaction will be, I'm out of the picture. It's not my business, so I won't intrude.

"Hi Myst!" I automatically shifted my head to the direction where the voice is coming from.

I mentallt heaved a sigh upon seeing Chem and her gang.

"We've heard what happened,  and we're very sorry for you," Laurel said while minimizing her voice trying to sound cute.

"I'm sorry, 'di namin alam na mapapalayas ka. Your mom asked kasi e." Chem placed the back of her hand on her forehead creating a dramatic impact.

And as usual, I fake a smile and act like I'm okay. "Not a problem."

The look registered on their faces is an evidence for me to know that they are shocked upon what I said.

Indeed, the best way to make revenge is not by inflicting pain, but by making them see that their plan to ruin you had failed tremendously.

I shook my head in disbelief and left them. I cannot believe my own mother believed them over her own flesh. But it's life, sa buhay natin, huwag tayong umasa na tayo lagi ang paniniwalaan.

Some minds are closed that they belive and had many opinions on the little information that they have. People judge with just hearing one side. Totally dismissing the other angle.

In simple words, a little information can create a huge fuss. People always believe what they saw without knowing the whole story. Without hearing both sides.

"Ano ba ang kailangan mo? Ang kulit! 'Di ba sinabi ko na lubayan mo ako?" Rinig na rinig ko ang boses na nagmumula sa garden.

Medyo malapit na pala ako kaya naririnig ko na ang mga boses.

"P-pero may sasabihin lang naman ako e." The girl stuttered almost as if she's about to go down on her knees.

Natatabunan ako ng mga bushes sa paligid kaya hindi nila ako napansin.

"Cha–" I was about to call but didn't finish.

"Chaos I like you. Kaya please accept my feelings." Nakayuko na saad ng babae habang mayroong inaabot na parang sobre kay Chaos.

Oh well, I guess it's a wrong time. Akala ko tapos na siya mag-confess. Hindi pa pala.

I was about to leave the place when I heard Chaos' heartbreaking words.

"Hindi ka ba talaga makaintindi? Bobo ka ba? Sinabi ko lubayan mo na ako. Wala akong pakialam sa nararamdaman mo, lumayas ka!"

I felt a thousand of knives stabbed my heart.  Ako 'yong nasasaktan para sa babae. Alam kong sobrang sakit na hindi man lang ma-appreciate ng taong gusto mo ang nararamdaman mo.

That's why I'm scared to confess –more like a whole bunch of people are scared to confess– because like me, they are scared of rejection. Pero as cliché as it sounds, walang mawawala 'pag 'di sinubukan.

Actually for me, it's better to let your feelings all out e. Kasi do'n isang bagsakan. It's either your rejected, or you have the chance. Do not live on the what ifs and the possibilities that may happen.

Do not cage yourself into thinking and worrying about the future. You might miss the present. The future will come, but the present will become past. Which you can never redo again. Kaya habang may oras, confess na. Be brave, for cowardice can't bring you anywhere. You might just feel regrets.

But this time really shocked me. A gentle and caring Chaos,  being heartless and cold to others. Noon, hindi ako naniniwala na may ganiyan siyang reputasyon e. Kasi like he was so good to me and all. I can't believe that I've witnessed another side of him.