Timeless and Bliss #wattys2016

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

It was time. We had gone our separate ways back home with orders on when to meet up. This plan was absolutely ridiculous, crazy, insane, and practically impossible. Of course there were rumors of the border. It has been said that people who made it to the border, where we are separated from others, were able to cross over and could live a normal life. Our neighboring country, or whatever they called themselves, are completely against Bliss. The rumors state that they are willing to help those who get there.

It has also been said that Bliss will eventually expand to others who are in support of it. However that's all they were, rumors. Though it came from Felix there is always the risk of the borders not existing. Then what happens? We just get captured and eliminated? That wasn't how I wanted to go out. I wanted to fight in the rebellion, not run. The problem we faced was that there wasn't a leader for the rebellion so it could be years before it even happens. I shook my head at these thoughts and figured I should have trust in Felix and Dexter.

I approached the door to my house and hesitantly placed my hand on the cold knob. I let out a sigh before pushing the door open breathing in the familiar aroma. So many memories had taken place here. Most of them pleasant, but one stood out more than the rest. The news of my father's death. Since then it was always difficult to recall the good things, I only remembered the bad. I dismissed those thoughts as well and tried focusing on what needed to be done. For some reason I kept examining my no longer home taking in every last detail, hoping to engrave them into my mind as well as my heart. D I was going to miss this place.

Things here had changed drastically. It started with my Father's death and it only escalated after Bliss. The thing was my mother supported the idea. She loathed the idea of the rebellion. I never knew why it was the way she was, and accepted it that. She however, hated that I was following in my dad's footsteps. I made my way to the kitchen and began my process of taking Bliss being careful to not drink the drugged water.

"Blaize there you are!" My mom startled me from my thoughts.

"Hey mom," I greeted with a weak smile.

"I'm going to run some errands I'll be back in an hour." She usually appeared joyous from the pill, but today she seemed extra friendly practically skipping around the kitchen.

"Have you recently drank any water?" I questioned her overly happy actions.

"Actually I have," She answered not even wondering why I had asked a peculiar question like that. "Okay Blaize I'm leaving. I'll see you when I get home." I quickly pulled her into a tight hug inhaling the delicate fragrance that suited her.

"I love you, mom." I chocked the tears back trying to hide my trembling voice. The cameras were still watching. I had to be strong and play it safe for the next few hours if I wanted to get out of here.

"Oh Blaize, I love you too." She released me and like that she was gone. My heart sunk fully knowing that would be the last time I'd ever see my mother's beautiful face, her perfect bouncy curls that rested above her shoulders, or her personality that was now bubbly because of Bliss.

Things were never right between us, but that wouldn't stop me from missing her. I could feel my heart break a little and the absence of my mother wasn't something I thought I could handle. Even if I did stay one year was what remained with her. The thought hurt me internally and quite possibly physically. I felt a knot in my stomach and a bit nauseas.

I gathered myself up and walked to my room faking a smile on my face. Clothes weren't the most important necessity, food was. I crammed as much food as I could into my bag with one extra pair of clothes and a small first aid kit just in case. I placed the bag by my door and threw myself onto my bed snuggling my comforter and pillows. I could feel my exhausted body start to drift to sleep. I tried my best to fight against it which was useless.

I opened my eyes slowly then sat up squinting at the bright light. Never in my life had I felt so relaxed before. Falling asleep had become something I almost feared because of my nightmares. For once I felt well rested. A sudden panic gushed through me that I might have slept past the time I was required to leave.

I feared the thought that they would leave without me. As I thought about it more I found comfort in the thought of staying. Only I knew Felix and Dexter well enough to know they wouldn't leave me, regardless of how mad they were at me. I struggled to kick the blankets off and grabbed the clock sitting on my night stand. I sighed with relief when the clock told me I had only been asleep for forty minutes. My mother's words continuously played in my head. If only she knew. It felt as if I had just lied to her. Maybe I should write her a note. In my hand I held a pen carefully contemplating on what I should tell her.

Mom,

We have been on a rocky road. You have given me all your love, time, and everything I could possibly need. I forgave you long ago and I have always admire your strength .It pains me to say that I can no longer say here.

My hand began shaking. I erased it and tried a different set of sentences. As hard as I tried nothing I wrote sounded right. It didn't feel like the closure I wanted. I quickly crumpled the paper and threw it into the trash bin. If it was hard on me I imagine it would be just as hard on her. No, I already said my goodbye there's no need to make things worse by leaving a note.

I still had twenty minutes, but decided to start making my way back to Felix's house. It was time to let go. Staying here any longer felt wrong and would only make things harder. I threw my bag over my shoulder and made my way out of the house.

"Things are going to get better," I murmured to myself. I wasn't sure I believed the words coming out of my mouth. The walk was slow and lonely filled with panicked thoughts that only frustrated me nevertheless a smile was plastered onto my face. "I'll get through this," I told myself, but once more I wasn't sure I believed in what I was saying.